Notes: A wonderfully cheesy and hopefully just as sexy story about a useless lesbian trying to make it in the world of superheroes. This is a bit sillier than my usual content, but I wanted to write something more light-hearted. I hope you enjoy!
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Here it was, my big debut. After training for an entire year, I had finally graduated from the Astute Sidekick's School of heroism. In other words, I was finally ready to fight crime!
Superpowers have existed since medieval times. For centuries, a person was judged by their ability to best use their power for the betterment of society. Even in modern times, sure, doctors and teachers were respected but everyone held their breaths when a hero walked in.
So, I woke up on May 11th, at 6:00 am. Not only had it been hard to fall asleep in the first place, but it was also hard to stay asleep because of how excited I was. The moment my eyes split open I flew up into the air and rushed to my bathroom. A grinning blonde with big blue eyes stared back at me in the mirror. I clenched my hands into fists and pumped one into the air. I was beyond excited.
Ever since I was a little girl, I'd kept up with the best superheroes of our time. Concussion Man, Miss Play, Reactor, all of them! I'd stay up at night, ignoring piles of homework as I watched them on tv. It was around the time I entered high school that I developed my own superpowers. I discovered that I could fly when I fell down a flight of stairs and my body remained in the air instinctively. The only other power I had was the ability to shoot energy balls. Kind of like that anime with the super buff dudes that everyone's seen.
Now, at twenty-three years old, I was finally ready to be that woman. Be the icon of the next generation!
I walked out of the bathroom with a white towel wrapped around my body and a layer of water coating my skin as I heard my phone sounding off Billie Eilish's You Should See Me in a Crown. I hovered over to it and smiled when I saw that my mentor had messaged me.
Tyra Links: Are you ready, Cassie?
"Hmph. Of course." I said to myself. Yeah, sometimes when I'm excited, I talk to myself. Deal with it.
Me: I was BORN ready!
Tyra Links: Okay, hotshot. Try not to fly into the side of a building this time 😉
Me: That was once! Just once!
Tyra Links: And that singular event became a story that I tell at every meet and greet now. Seriously, I think you gained like a hundred followers on Instagram just off all the pictures people took...
Nope! I was not about to allow my teacher's teasing to impact my bubbling excitement over today's duties. I replied with something eloquent that was simple and yet communicated all of my complex feelings at the moment:
Me: fuck off ☹
Tyra Links: Sorry, sorry! I'm just messing with you, kid. Anyway, stick with something simple for today. Stop a mugging, save cats from trees. That sort of stuff. I'll check with you later to see how it all went. Remember though, steer clear of the Lower Districts. Good luck!
Me: thanks
With that, I put on my costume in all its glory. Well, here's the thing. Sure, saving people was an important part of this whole biz and it was why I wanted to be a hero too, but why couldn't I be super helpful AND be super cute at the same time? Right? So, when it came time for me to design my outfit, yeah, I made it a point to look good.
And so, I stood in the center of my bedroom in a short white skirt that hid a thong, knee-high white boots, a sleeveless shirt of the same color and creamy fingerless gloves. Finally, there were a few pink ribbons tied at my biceps and my thighs, along with a pink belt.
"Hm..." I looked in the mirror. "Come on, there has to be a way this can look even better!"
I made an executive decision. I took some scissors, things I knew very well, and I went to my mirror. With a deep breath, I cut off the lower half of my shirt. "Come on, let this work..." I mumbled. When I put the shirt on again, I nearly exploded with happiness.
"Yes!"
Underboob achieved! I had cut the shirt in just the right way to allow half my breasts to be visible. Sadly, this meant I also had to allow my slightly flabby stomach to be visible, but that body fat wasn't entirely negative. It was thanks to it after all that I had D cup boobs. I smirked, content with what I did, and I ran up to my roommate's room.
Yeah, like most aspiring superheroes, I lived in an apartment because I could just barely make ends meet. Willing to help me with that though was a wonderful girl I'd met just a year ago. The always-slightly-pissed-off goth beauty that I was about to wake up. I crept through the door like a thief, smirking wickedly as I tiptoed up to the unsuspecting victim.
I flew up above her and allowed gravity to do its thing.
"F-Fuck, fuck!" When I fell on her, she swatted in all directions, searching for whatever had assaulted her.
"Good morning, honey!" I planted several merciless kisses on her cheeks. She replied by putting two hands on my face and attempting to push me away.
"Ugh, get off me, Cass!"
"But it's such a beautiful day!" I whined with a grin as I pressed the attack further.
"It won't be for much longer if you keep this shit up!"
"Haha, alright, alright." I sat next to her. She took her pillow and pressed it over her face, mumbling stuff into it. "Sorry, but I'm just so excited!"
She removed the pillow, which allowed me to see that beautiful face I liked so much. Pale skin, night-sky black hair, the right corner of her bottom lip pierced and "get the hell away from me" purple eyes. She was my exact opposite. Maybe that's why I had the hardest of crushes on her.
When we'd first moved into each other, a year ago, I used to get nervous at just the prospect of talking to her, and that was without factoring in the fact that I thought she was so hot. But, as time went on and we got to know each other a little, I found out she was really nice. That said, her blatant straightness did diminish my crush. I mean, she never actually told me she was straight, but after months of direct compliments and flirtatious bs from me with no response, and the fact that she only ever invited guys to her side of the house, there was no way she was into women. Or, at least, me.
I mean, how many others would have pushed me off the bed just now?
"What the hell's got you so excited?" She asked, rubbing her eyes.
"Seriously, Abby? Come on, I told you yesterday! I mean, look at how I'm dressed."
With that, I flashed my Superhero's ID. She squinted at the item before I cleared my throat and continued:
"As of today," I started, "my Superhero ID is active!" Once I said that she said "oh" and scanned over my card.
In order to engage in any superheroing, you needed to have an active Superhero ID. If you did anything without it, you were just a vigilante, a criminal.
"Shit..." She mumbled. "Uh, congrats."
"Thanks." I leaned in to hug her. She groaned but wrapped an arm around my back and pulled me in any way. "Uh, hey." I continued. A small flower of nervousness bloomed in my heart. "Do you think I'll be a good hero?" I looked up at her tired eyes.
"Sure." She shrugged. "You're... Uh, you're a cool person. That's pretty much all there is to it, right?"
I giggled and let my head rest on her chest for a moment.
"Right, right."
With the early morning annoy mission out of the way, I skipped to the kitchen, preparing a simple toast and coffee sandwich while I turned on the tv and listened to the news playing in the background.
"Good morning, citizens of Valor City." The well-dressed man on the tv said into a microphone that was just slightly poking in from the bottom of the frame. "As you all know, last night our very own Tyra Links managed to single-handedly take down the League of Spiteful Men. The fearsome gang of villains had been spotted in the alleys of the Lower Districts earlier this month. Alone, Links used her incredible Magma Rays to neutralize the targets. Here's a word from her we managed to procure."
The camera cut to my mentor, Tyra Links, the #1 ranked hero in Valor City, standing a few feet away from a small group of knocked-out evildoers tied up behind her.
In my full superhero outfit, I sat down on the couch (sandwich and coffee in front of me on a table) and watched her speak.
"Yes, it was a long and difficult battle, but the citizens of Valor City have nothing to fear, for as long as I and every superhero out there exist, evil will never triumph over good!"
