"Hey!" the message popped onto your screen.
"It worked!" you type into the Skype window, "I wasn't sure if I had the right contact."
"This is the right one," I reply, "if you're who I think you are :)."
"I think I'm who I think I am :)."
You wonder what the protocol is for starting a Skype call with a stranger, or almost stranger. I'm certain that you're going to be the one pressing "call" before I do. It feels like a big step; we've only swapped a few messages and one phone call so far.
You start to type something and then change your mind, and then start again.
"Ready for a call?" the message appears.
"I think so," I reply.
You click the "call" button. I take a deep breath and answer. The window enlarges and a video pops into view. You're sitting at a desk and the webcam shows you from the chest up. I notice the small thumbnail of my image in the bottom corner that must be a view of what you're seeing.
At the sight of myself on video I suddenly turn very shy. You summon the effort to break the silence.
"That seems to have worked," you say. I can't help but look down at the table, wondering how I've ended up getting into a video call with a stranger on the Internet.
"Is the sound working? Can you hear me?" you ask. I forget that I haven't said anything yet. You have a very soft voice and it makes me feel warm inside.
"Yes, all good," I say, and then add quickly, "Can you hear me?"
"Perfectly!" You smile and my heart melts a little.
I'm lost for words as I try to take in your image on the screen, whilst trying not to look as if I'm staring. You take the lead in the conversation.
"We can... if you're nervous, we can go back to a phone call, if you like?" you say.
"No, no!", I say rather too quickly, and then look back at the table with a smile. "I'm just nervous. This is my first time." I look up from under my eyelashes, trying to act coy as I make the joke.
"No!" you say with mock seriousness, "This is my first time too! Does this mean there's going to be all kinds of fumbling, and questions like 'does this go in here?' and 'can you feel anything yet? I can't feel anything'." I burst out laughing and you smile again, and then look away suddenly.
"What's the matter?" I ask.
You pause. "Your laugh," you say, "it's just... lovely to hear, and see that smile." Can you pull on my heart strings any harder? I hope the camera doesn't pick up how much I blush at the compliment.
"Thank you," I say, "I don't think... it's a long time since someone said something so nice to me."
"Oh, I don't believe that," you say. I can tell you don't really understand how much I mean it, but I let it pass anyway, not wanting to spoil the feeling. I still can't think of anything to say.
"Are you always so shy?" you ask. If there's one thing that's guaranteed to make a girl shy, it's asking if she's always so shy. It's almost an invite to be extra shy.
"Well... maybe..." I say, "It's strange, isn't it?"
"What is?"
"Talking to a stranger over video? Don't you think it's strange?"
"I guess I've done it for work a few times, so it's not that strange for me."
"And just for work?" I ask, fishing for information again. Are you sure you don't do this all the time? I look up from beneath my eyelashes.
You smile again. "Just for work," you reply, "I think so, anyway..." You try to think if that's one hundred percent true, but you've answered the question in the right spirit at least.
"Well, it's still strange for me," I say as I fidget in my seat. I stare at your image on the screen; you look much better "in the flesh", so to speak, than even in the photos I've seen. There's another pause in the conversation.
"You'll soon get over the nervousness," you say, trying to reassure. We both know you're saying that in hope more than belief. I look at your image and squirm in my seat again. I start to say something but can't quite make it come out.
"What is it?" you ask.
"Nothing... I can't," I say with a small giggle. I bite on the side of my lip.
"Come on. There's something. Spit it out, girl," you say. I haven't been called "girl" for quite a while either. Why does there have to be hundreds of miles between us?
"Well...You know the other day, on the phone," I say.
You smile in recollection. "Yeah, how did you do that anyway?" you ask. That was a good question: how had you been so ready to strip, just because I'd asked you to?
I ignore the question anyway. "Well, it made me less nervous, so today..."
You laugh. "Oh no you don't. I am not going to sit here naked talking to you. That is so not happening!" You secretly wish for it, but the rational side dismisses the fantasy.
"No, not at all," I say, "But perhaps, I mean, it would help... if you... your t-shirt. Just your t-shirt. It would make me happy, and if I thought if it made you a bit more nervous, I'd be a bit more comfortable..."
You smile again. I almost wish you'd stop smiling like that: it's such a distraction.
"You're telling me," you say, "That talking to a stranger on the Internet is making you nervous, but if that stranger takes his t-shirt off, then it'll make it better?"
I nod. "Oh, definitely. I'm sure of it." I giggle a little more. I wonder if my laugh is having the same effect on you as your smile is on me. I wonder if, if you asked me to undress, and did it with a smile, would I do it? Perhaps I would, if you were here. I can tell you're thinking seriously, though.
"But this is it, okay?" you say, "No more 'oh I'm so nervous, please take something else off' like the other day. If this doesn't work, I'm putting the t-shirt back on. Okay?"
I laugh again and put my hand over my mouth. I can't help but lean forwards a little in anticipation. I really didn't think you would, but I'm not going to say that.
You push your chair back a few inches, reach down and then pull the t-shirt over your head. You can't believe you're doing this, and I can't believe it's happening either. I'm transfixed by what's playing out on the screen.
"That's really nice," I say vaguely. You blush, and it's your turn to hope it doesn't show on the camera. I refrain from telling you that it does, a little.
"And this really helps?" you ask. I can tell you need to try a little harder to sound confident, and it actually does make me feel better.
"Oh yes," I say, "That's so much better." I sit back again and admire the view.
"So..." you say.
"Yes, so," I say with a smile. Yes, now you're slightly unsettled, I feel like things are on level terms.