Author's Notes:
1. In this story, James Kirk reveals that he is a sadist. If you do not want to think of Kirk in this way, then you probably should not read this story. But it's not as bad as it sounds, because Spock makes it all logical. :-)
2. This story features a gay relationship between Kirk and Spock. If this idea displeases you, this is not the story for you.
3. This story is at least as much about the emotional context as it is about the action, so there's a LOT of dialogue. If you want a story that's mostly action, this is not the story for you.
4. This is the Kirk and Spock of the original series, four years into their five-year mission. (The Kirk and Spock of the "reboot" movies have a somewhat different relationship, and this story would be different than it is if it were about them.)
5. This is the first chapter of a multi-chapter work, so yes, the, er, action is coming.
6. Most people have probably heard of whipping boys, but for those who haven't, here's an explanation of the term. Back in medieval days, it was thought that only the king had the right to punish a prince. Since the king was often away from home for months at a time and was frequently busy even when he was at home, this was a potentially problematic situation. The solution was to punish someone else in place of the prince. Since this would be a poor control on the prince's behavior unless he were very fond of the person being punished, the prince and his whipping boy were usually raised together. And since protecting the prince (from assassination, kidnapping, or bad influences) required that he have little contact with other children, the prince's whipping boy was usually his closest friend, a brother in all but blood. Having a beloved brother whipped for the prince's behavior did usually turn out to be an effective curb on royal unruliness, and some princes formed lifelong friendships with their whipping boys.
7. I'm temporarily borrowing the Star Trek characters for my own pleasure (and hopefully that of my readers as well); I'm not even pretending to own them.
Spock didn't like it when Jim made too big of a fuss over his birthday, so in the three years that they'd been friends, plus the additional year that they'd been lovers, Kirk had kept the celebration low-key. He made Spock a small, symbolic present, bought him some fresh β not synthesized β fruit, and called it a day.
For this year's birthday gift, he'd made Spock a coupon good for "Anything You Want," which he hoped Spock would use for some interesting sexual favor. Did Vulcans have sexual fantasies, or did they consider them illogical? Or maybe Spock would use the coupon to drag Jim to the kind of museum that he attended only reluctantly. But in any case, it was likely to be more meaningful than anything tangible he could have given Spock, plus Spock still deferred to him too much, even when they were off duty; he wanted to encourage Spock to assert himself more.
Kirk and Spock met in their quarters after their shift was done. Since Spock himself made the duty rosters, he never had his birthday off, though he did sometimes permit himself to spend the day in the lab instead of on the bridge. He seemed to enjoy dinner with his lover, especially the fresh strawberries that Jim had managed to smuggle onto the ship when they'd visited a friendly planet two days before. After dinner, Spock dutifully opened the gaily wrapped gift that Jim handed him, seeming to try harder this year to clamp down on the humoring-the-silly-human attitude as he opened it, perhaps in response to Jim's complaints from the previous year.
Spock looked at the coupon, then at Jim. "This is a human custom with which I am unfamiliar," he said.
"That's because it's not a general human custom," Kirk said. "I want to do something you want, something that I might normally be hesitant about doing, something that's just for you. I think you take my wishes into account a bit too much; you focus too much on pleasing and supporting me even when we're not on duty. For this gift, you're supposed to pick something you want, regardless of how I feel about it. You can drag me to that History of Computing Museum that I never want to go to, or ask me to do something in bed that you think you'll like more than I will, or really, anything, Spock. That's why it says 'Anything' on the certificate."
"Pleasing and supporting you affords me more satisfaction than most other activities," Spock used a teasing tone, but Kirk knew that he meant it. "I assure you that I am entirely selfish when I endeavor to make you happy."
Jim gave Spock his best grin. "Well, then, you can make me happy by being self-focused for once." Jim had been dealing with his Vulcan for awhile now and knew how to phrase things so as to get Spock's compliance. Usually.
"Very well. But do not blame me if I choose something you would rather I had not."
"That's half the point, Spock; that's why it's a present and not just an ordinary request. Pick anything you want, and hold me to it even if I whine."
Spock spent no time thinking, but spoke immediately, suggesting that what he had to say had been on his mind for awhile. "When we meld, several areas of your mind are closed to me. Most of those areas are in locations that suggest one of two things: confidential information from Starfleet, which only the captain may see, or confidences imparted by friends, which should be kept even from one's partner."
"Yes, of course," Kirk said. "We had to prove to Starfleet that I could keep information from you if they sent me something for the captain's eyes only."
"But there is one sealed location that is in the midst of the 'Spock' area of your mind. Everything else in that area is a thought, memory, or feeling about me, which leads me to believe that the sealed area is as well. And Jim..." Dark eyes bored into hazel ones. "Jim, the shield over that area tastes not of needful privacy, as the other shields do, but of shame and fear. I would have no unnecessary secrets between us, nor would I have you feel shame for any reason. I would see what is behind that shield."
Kirk was shocked. He knew Spock's delicacy in all matters pertaining to telepathy, knew that his lover was scrupulous about going only where invited; Kirk had even twitted him gently about his asking permission for everydamnedthing. He had never imagined that Spock would even mention the shielded area of his mind, much less demand to see it as a birthday gift.
"But I practically ordered him to ask for anything he wanted. And how many people over the years have found it a big mistake to underestimate Mr. Spock?"
he thought to himself.
Kirk gave Spock his best distracting smile and said, "That shielded area isn't anything negative about you. I'm not pretending to be happy with you while hiding some kind of dissatisfaction; what's behind that shield is something negative about me. And you don't need to see it."
Dark eyes appraised him coolly. "The surface of the shielded area is in the 'Spock' location in your mind, which was why I felt justified in asking for it, but the area has very deep roots, ones that reach into the bedrock of your psyche. An offshoot from that root also connects to the 'captaincy' area of your mind. Anything that deep that connects those two areas IS my concern."
"Spock, come on, I didn't mean you could ask for this kind of stuff."
"Sir, I would be remiss in my duty as your First Officer if I failed to inquire after something that regards your captaincy, plus I believe I was enjoined to 'hold you to it even if you whined.'"
"You're not going to let this go, are you?"