AN: In real life, SG's surgical scar is on her back: for this story I moved it to her front. I have not seen
The Substance
but believe it to be similar in subject matter and tone.
Chapter 32C
Selena Gomez was squeezing ivory-white palmfuls of titflesh into a tight sports bra when her life changed.
Her cell buzzed. She scooped it up; jammed it to her ear. "Mmm-
yallo
?"
Nobody answered. A cold river of static poured down the line. Endless. Pitiless. As patient as death.
"Anyone there?" She drummed fingers.
If this is some psycho stalker, can we hurry this along? Skip the terrifying buildup? Get straight to the part where you wanna wear my skin as a mask?
The ad shoot with Flatter Chest, Fuller Life was in an hour, and she
still
couldn't fucking find those Cosabella hiphuggers that had looked hella cute on her butt.
No offense, SeΓ±or Psychopath, but I REALLY have places to be today.
She was about to hang up when she heard a noise behind the static.
Not breath, not a whisper, not the rustling of dead leaves in a drain, not anything her mind could circle and name...
Just
sound
. It defaced the raging white perfection of white static, like a crack riven in an ice floe. A shudder of revulsion kicked through Selena, knotting her flesh into goosepimples.
Something about that sound disgusted her. The auditory equivalent of a hair stuck inside her mouth.
She'd had enough.
"Lose my number, creep," Selena said to the chanting static. "I don't know who you are, but I can fuck with you harder than you can fuck with me.
Promise
you."
Her index finger stabbed the call dead.
Click
.
Black walls crashed in upon her. Dizziness. Nausea. A sudden twisting impression of no up, no down. Stumbling, she almost fell, the ground lurching horrifically under her feet. Her vision rippled, distorted, smeared. The walls of her mansion burst apart around her, fragments exploding outward with the dead, horrific stretch of a sparrow's shattered wing--
Selena clenched her fists. She shut her eyes, counted down--
--and reopened them back on Planet Earth.
So now I'm having dizziness attacks? Great. Awesome. Love that for me.
Those fat burner pills from the internet were something else.
She resumed the search for her hiphuggers, and forgot the call. Later--after hell broke loose--she tasked her private security company to track the caller.
There was no record of it ever arriving on her phone.
* * *
An hour later...
"...Ready to see how much my boobs have shrunk? Let's go!"
Vamping and pouting for the camera, a high-wattage array of studio lights glazing her face in Chernobyl-intensity death, Selena Gomez looped the measuring tape under her breasts.
"Band size? Thirty two!"
Next, the tape
zip-zooped
over the fullest part of her breasts.
"Bust size? Thirty five!"
She did a quarter-turn, letting the lens see the 32C tag.
"Six months ago, I was a 32F...and felt like
crap
." She started ticking off shit on her fingers. "I couldn't wear cute bralettes,
everything
hurt, I looked like a Hooters waitress, men were
beyond
gross, I had zero self-esteem, and my back was killing me! But thanks to Flatter Chest, Fuller Life's natural breast-reduction remedies, I'm down three sizes!"
She dropped her hands to her sides, exposing her curvy, hippy figure. No sign of the scar from her kidney transplant: they'd powdered that away. This was a transformed Selena: flawlessly porcelain.
She grinned. "Also, I can do the Flatter Chest, Fuller Life Self-Hug!"
She raised her arms in front of her chest, and tapped her elbows together.
"See?
My elbows touch!
Try doing that with F-cup slaughtermelons getting in the way!"
She repeated the script Flatter Chest, Fuller Life had given her.
"Life is
better
without breasts. Studies show that petite-chested women live longer, have higher salaries, are interrupted less in the workplace, and have more fulfilling sex. Men actually
prefer
tiny breasts! Did I just blow your mind?"
She did a full turn, facing the camera, showing off her perky bra-filling decollatage.
"32C is just the start! I'm shrinking my chest to nothing! In two months, when you next see me on TV, I'll be an A cup! Flatter Chest, Fuller Life guarantees it to me, and they guarantee it to
you
! Join me on the itty-bitty titty committee! Call the number on the screen, and book your free initial consult!"
She glanced past the lights to the soundstage's edge. She saw Charity Lispector--acting director of Flatter Chest, Fuller Life--watching her, arms crossed and lips pursed.
Selena hit a Sailor Moon pose--
Tsuki ni kawatte, oshioki yo!
--made a V-sign at the camera, and dropped the money quote.