Three's Company Tribute
Episode One: Jack's Magic Dick
By Richardickensalcoxxx
"...Down at our rendezvous...."
"Three's Company too!"
Larry met the most amazing woman in Lana Shields but as he began giving his friend the latest updates, Jack was just not paying much attention. He was too busy changing his torn bellbottoms. Jack had gone through some kind of scandal at work with mister Angelino. He somehow managed a smile and let Larry describe how his dates with Lana kept getting better and better.
"Oh, come on Larry, you!? Going steady with an older woman?! Lordy! Lordy! Lordy ...Lordy! What is the world coming to!!" Those were still Jacks words even after a few months from when he first heard about the relationship.Jack didn't know what he was missing. A total lioness in the sack; Lana always let Larry lead and took him to the edges of forbidden MILF pleasure every night.
Now, after much more convincing, Jack was almost starting to believe that Larry had finally found love. Lana was the notorious cougar that Jack never had time for. Larry wondered if, secretly, Jack was grateful to him for getting her off his back. But she turned out to be one of the gentler women Larry had come to know.
He didn't intend on going back to having more adventures and, as the conversation with Jack deepened, Larry realized that he was quite infatuated.
"Larry, you're doing just fine! You are a softie deep down, everybody knows! It looks like you and Lana were made for each other from what I am hearing!"
"I'm telling you, though, Jack. No tricks up my sleeve with this one!"
"I doubt it with a woman like Lana. Good for you, Larry!"
Larry went on to talk about just how intimidated he was at first. He was so used to being the aggressive one in the relationship. Lana was much more confident than the average woman he went out with, and much older. As he carried on in trying to give Jack more details about what a fun-loving and wonderful woman Lana was, Jack was still a bit scattered.
Larry Dallas slowly began realizing that he was not being such a good friend and asked Jack to tell him what was actually happening that he was so upset. He had been ignoring the fact that his friend was having a bad day but not before Jack asked him about the concert.
"Are we still going to see Hall & Oates and The Who with Janet and Chrissy at the end of October?"
"I have the tickets but will you be able to get mister Angelino to give you the night off?"
"Mister Angelino is probably making me scrub the wall of the restaurant again but I'll talk to him. I caught all these teenagers spray-painting it with obscenities!"
Larry learned that Jack was upset because he had discovered some kids vandalizing the restaurant. Mister Angelino lost his mind. Jack only saw one of them before she ran away, laughing like a hyena. The rest sped across the street in all directions. Soon mister Angelino would have to pay for the wall of the restaurant to be re-painted rather than give Jack another raise, Jack suspected.
"I don't know Larry. It sure is a sign of the times when you catch girls vandalizing the neighborhood like that!"
"Did you chase after them for very long?"
"Mister Angelino made me chase them while he just stood outside going completely crazy!! I think he was yelling at me more than he was yelling at them!"
"Did any of the neighbors come up with anything?"
"I got a good look at one of them. She was laughing in my face and basically let me chase her for blocks!"
"Kids Today... Huh, Jack?!"
Eventually Jack got over it and the kids were never caught. In the following few months the restaurant started getting more favorable food reviews from restaurant critics. Jack began inviting Larry to come down and eat there with Lana more often. Lana looked so beautiful that mister Angelino even let Jack take the rest of the night off when the couple dined there.
Angelino thought he could flirt with her and he became jealous of Larry when Lana told him she was seeing Larry regularly. Angelino could barely hold back his envy upon hearing about how Lana and Larry were an item and going on so many fun dates and adventures. Whenever Larry wasn't looking, mister Angelino would ask Lana why she was wasting her time on someone like Larry Dallas.
Lana even made sure that Angelino tripped over a chair. His suit had to be dry cleaned for meatball stains. Secretly, restaurateur Frank Angelino was a rake and hoped he could take Lana away from Larry like the many other women he seduced.
It was always a good time to be Larry Dallas, but especially now. The couple were becoming exclusive. Lana even turned away some of her old suitors and was going to introduce her two daughters to Larry. It was through her that Larry, Jack and the girls were going to the Greek Theatre to see Hall & Oates and The Who.
Jack was coming to understand that Lana had a tender nature deep down which she guarded with a rough exterior. He would be surprised to learn that she didn't really "put-out" nearly as much as everybody else assumed. It took Larry a lot of time to get her to go to bed with him.
Just when he was ready to give up she gave in. Larry had been her only lover in a few years. Most of the men that flirted with Lana ended up as her friends, or just like Angelino. Lana had been working as a fashion buyer for almost ten years. She was now finally building long-standing relationships with some top brands.
Larry had been around some of her foxy girlfriends too. He tried asking some of them for their phone numbers initially but they wouldn't even give him the time of day. Lana's daughter from her previous marriage, Darlene, lived with her. One of two daughters. The other one, Meredith, lived with Lana's estranged husband.
Meredith, Darlene's older sister, was very bookish from the pictures Larry had seen. He learned that Meredith was in the custody of her Pentecostal father in Missouri. She was studying at a boarding school for most of the year. Lana had not really spent time with her since her divorce. Darlene had chosen to remain with her mother and they only got the occasional visit or phone call from Meredith.
Larry's real troubles with Lana began to occur around the time that Lana's daughter Darlene turned eighteen. Darlene began getting into lots of trouble in high school, including accusations of bullying on her part. She probably did so because she was so outgoing, beautiful and more than a bit loud. It was getting out of control which was why Lana all of a sudden stopped paying attention to Larry's needs.
As a single mother with a prosperous career she was finally making enough money to spend more time with Darlene. Lana was also facing losing her if nothing was done. She was afraid that Darlene would drop out of school or run away to join the armed forces since the kid was desperate to be on her own.
From what Lana was telling Larry about her daughter she sounded sure of herself but just had too many distractions and no coping mechanisms. Larry thought Darlene certainly had the temperament to be in the military. She was, of course, beautiful like her mother; only the brattiest person he would ever come to know.
She needed the discipline factor in her life. The sex sort of stopped with Lana, or rather, was put on hold.
Lana was going to make sure Darlene transferred to another nearby high school to finish off her senior year. It was on her eighteenth birthday that she was officially introduced to Larry by her mother. Meredith also happened to be visiting with her mother and sister for a few weeks, so Larry met both of them. They tried Angelino's, but it was completely booked so they went for seafood instead.
Everyone knew that Lana wouldn't introduce her boyfriends to her daughters until she was sure they were serious about a relationship. Later on Larry understood why the sex had been good. Lana was probably stressed out over her ex-husband's threats to take Darlene away. Lana had obviously been blowing off steam with Larry every night.
Although Larry predicted that he was going to get along fine with Darlene and Meredith, it was just the opposite. He became the target of endless practical jokes. Darlene sent the cops to his house in the middle of the night by tripping the fire alarm system in the building. She also snuck into his apartment when he wasn't there and flooded his bathroom. Meredith wasn't much better because of religious background.
When he spent nights with their mother Darlene paced around all night, brought friends over, or ruined the mood with loud music. Darlene even walked in on them as they slept and tossed Larry's clothes through the windows.
He loved Lana, so Larry decided he would put up with whatever Darlene was dishing out in hopes of winning her, Meredith and Lana over. He even offered to take Darlene and Meredith to see Blondie and David Bowie, but nothing seemed to work.
After trying just about everything to remedy the situation Lana started paying for voice lessons for Darlene. This was before school started. Her teachers said it would be a good idea to offer Darlene more activities: like sports, singing and dancing classes so that she could fit into the new school.
Darlene started playing music with some other girls from her new school. It was strange for a young lady to finish off the last year of high school at a brand new school. After a series of make-overs by Lana, Darlene's transformation into a young woman was mind-blowing.
She had shed her baby-fat and turned into this amazing Betty Boop brunette with the fittest porcelain beach body Larry had ever seen. Larry thought that her mother was far more of a knockout, but he started noticing the little brat.
In time, Darlene transformed her body so much that she looked like a doppelgänger for her idol, Joan Jett. Larry didn't know how Darlene made herself look that amazing. Luckily, though, he was in love with her mother and not with Darlene. Larry always tried to reach and talk to her but Darlene would not even try to relate to him.
Darlene's adjustment period at her new school produced both good and bad results. She thought more seriously about joining the navy and becoming a hospital corpsman, started to work harder and exercise. Her grades improved at her new school.
On the other hand, when Larry would pick her up with her garage band after their auditions all he would hear were things like,"So, what the fuck is this rusty piece of shit supposed to be, a car!? Can my friends and I borrow it sometime?"
