Chapter 20 - Decisions
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After hearing his story, I could only feel sympathy for Caridin. I really mean that. But despite what he said, I could also see the benefit of the Anvil. The dwarves had been driven all the way back to Orzammar without it. With the Anvil, they could finally on the front foot and start to reclaim their homeland. I hadn't even had a chance to express those thoughts when Branka finally made her appearance.
Seeing her up close for the first time, I'm sure at one time she'd been a real beauty. But two years in the Deep Roads, of seeing her House torn apart, of people she'd probably loved sacrificed, the fact she was pretty much insane, had robbed her of much of it. But she had a steely resolve in her eyes that couldn't be ignored, and her voice carried authority, no matter which side of the fence you sat on. I listened to what she had to say about preserving the Anvil, and I knew the decision was now resting in my hands.
I really hated that sometimes, deciding the fate of an entire people.
Holding up a hand, I walked to the Anvil itself. I had no idea what it was made from. I figured it was magical, and I knew a little about lyrium. I knew what sacrifices were required to make golems. Caridin had hidden nothing from me. Wynne even mentioned it was equivalent to blood magic. The worst part is that I could see both the advantage and disadvantage. Destroying the Anvil was simple, but would probably lead to killing Branka. Preserving the Anvil would no doubt result in a fight with Caridin, but what would I do with Branka afterwards? Allow her to live? I mean, she was smart enough to figure out how to work the Anvil. She'd have golems ready for us to fight the darkspawn in next to no time.
It was a choice: the sympathetic choice, to support Caridin, or the pragmatic choice, to support Branka. Whatever I did was probably going to piss some people off. I'd need to do a lot of explaining after the inevitable fight.
"We're keeping the Anvil," I stated.
No-one dared argue. At least not yet. Caridin wasted no time going on the attack. I really didn't want to attack him, not going on the offense, pleading with him to see my reasoning why. But he wouldn't listen. He couldn't listen. I understood why. His very creation had turned him into what he was now. But I was in a battle to save Thedas itself. I needed any advantage I could get.
I used my Thu'um to blow him over the edge of the canyon, into the river of lava below. I turned to see Shale fighting the rest of my group. I ran towards them and pleaded with Shale too, that I was doing it for the right reasons. But the golem wouldn't listen.
"Please don't make me kill you!" I yelled.
But Shale wouldn't and couldn't listen, enraged as it now was. I ordered everyone to remain where they were. I would do this myself and live with it on my conscience alone. Further and further back I pushed until Shale teetered on the edge of the canyon. I saw it look behind. "You don't have to do this," I pleaded.
"I die free, Dragonborn," Shale stated, before she disappeared from view. I stepped forward just in time to see her body disappear under the lava flow.
Collapsing to my knees, I admit that I wept. I didn't want Caridin to die. I definitely didn't want Shale to die. They didn't have to die if they'd just understood why. But I knew I had to make a hard choice... No-one dared approach me, leaving me alone until I felt nothing but fury overtake me. Rising to my full height, I turned, wiping my eyes as I made straight for Branka. I could actually see the fear in her eyes as I raised my sword. Ohgren looked ready to intervene, a hand on each shoulder from Sten and Alistair holding him back.
Sword at her throat, I had to stop my voice growling. "Can you work it?" She nodded. "Then it had better be worth it."
"It will, Dragonborn. I understand you've been searching for me due to politics in Orzammar?"
"I need a crown for the new king."
"Then, if you don't mind waiting, I can make you a new one. It will take a few hours."
"That's fine. We can make camp here."
I turned and walked away immediately, to the far side of the cavern, just so I could be alone, to get my thoughts in order before I spoke to the rest of the group. I took at least an hour, spending a good ten minutes whacking my sword against a stone wall, letting all the rage out as I screamed. I'm sure they probably thought I was going as mad as Branka. We probably deserved each other.
Once I felt a modicum of normality, I sheathed my sword and returned to the group, asking them to take a seat. "First, a bit of honesty. Who agreed with the choice I just made?"
Ohgren, Sereda, Brosca, Zevran, Morrigan and Sten raised their hands. I could only nod, looking at Alistair, Cerys, Wynne, Solona and Leliana. The latter three were upset, probably at the loss of Shale and seeing me have to fight Caridin. Alistair looked disappointed. Cerys looked pissed off. "Do you at least understand why?" I asked quietly.
"Wardens must make difficult choices during a Blight, Dragonborn," Alistair replied, "I just never thought..."
"She's insane, Ragnar," Wynne added, "And the magic involved in the Anvil is unsettling."
I looked at Leliana, who wiped her eyes before having her say. "Losing Shale is hard. We were just getting to know her."