It had been months since we had last seen each other. That chance meeting in London, another stuffy conference, full of business suits and grayness, the air stale and artificial, the lighting just as fake.
It had been a long boring day, nothing new learnt and I had been keen to get out of the room, out of the hotel and go home to my little cottage tucked away in the outskirts of London where it felt as if you were deep in the countryside.
I had brushed past you in my usual slightly clumsy way, almost not seeing you. Then something made me turn, a familiarity in the way you moved, the way you held yourself, that upright confident stance, quick moving but with one hand to your mouth as if biting a fingernail, a sign that there was also a vulnerable element to you.
We hadn't seen each other since school before that day, nearly 20 years had flown past, failed marriages, grown up kids, mortgages and a whole host of other aspects of life that had changed us, sucked us dry of the enthusiastic kids we once were.
I had forgotten a lot of things over 20 years but I hadn't forgotten your movements, that uniquely confident stance that at first glance hid your vulnerability. Something made you turn at the same time and our eyes had locked, frozen in that moment, our minds trying to compute what we were seeing, confirming the truth before us, my mind played out scenes of carefree summers in France, making love under the stars, where we had played as if we ruled the world, invincible, as if nothing could or would ever change us.
You moved your hand from your mouth in a quick almost embarrassed gesture and I smiled, a small laugh escaping from my lips, it was the same gesture you used back then whenever you wanted to impress. You smiled too and mouthed my name in a question. I nodded and laughed more freely and we came together, our eyes hungrily devouring each other, looking for signs of both familiarity and change. You put down your case and came to me and pulled me in tightly to you in a huge bear hug, I responded and for that moment we were 17 again, so close we were almost one person.
I breathed you in deeply, smelling your familiar earthy scent, you still used the same one, this made me smile again and I felt so safe. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to be transported back in time 20 years and got lost in the moment.
We had gone to a nearby pub and chatted non-stop until they had kicked us out, since then we had chatted almost daily either on-line or on the phone but our lives never allowing us to meet again, until now.
An announcement from the pilot brought me out of my reverie with a bump and as the plane circled closer getting ready to land and some brief turbulence jolted me in my seat, the excitement was building throughout my entire body at the thought of seeing you again like the buzz of electricity humming in a wire. My legs were weak and felt as if they were made of jelly, causing me to wonder if I would be able to stand and there was an excitement growing in my stomach, drawing up into my chest making my breasts heave as my breathing became labored. I wondered nervously what would happen next. I knew what I wanted to happen, what I hoped would happen.
I found myself fingering the pendent on my necklace, a nervous habit I had picked up during my teenage years. I forced myself to drop my hand and took a few deep breaths to calm myself down. The voice in my head still nagging me, asking what I was doing, where did I think this would go, a life together and happily ever after following one short holiday romance? I shook myself out of it and forced myself to think positively.
I was going to spend a long weekend in the arms of my long lost love, that in itself was worth it, even if went no further than right here, right now, I could hold on the memories for another 20 years.
I smiled and tried to stretch out my long legs as much as I could in the cramped confinement of the airplane cabin, testing them to make sure they would work. The sun was already burning in through the small oval window of the plane but I was unsure if the heat I could feel was from the sun or the excitement building within me.
I had never been to Venice before but had heard stories of Venice in springtime, the cool water everywhere, the parties, the buildings and the bridges. All full of history and romance and beauty. I was also excited to see and experience as much as possible of these with you too. I noticed my hand moved to my thighs as a familiar stirring in my groin area began to take over, spreading outwards and my own heat rose to match the warm air now coming into the cabin as the door was opened.
I climbed out of the small plane and down the steps to a shuttle bus which carried us to the terminal. It was full of people and warm but thankfully not too hot or claustrophobic, some of the people were as obviously excited as me, others tired and sleepy. Perhaps they had travelled from further afield than I?
As the bus neared the terminal I began to look out for you, the butterflies in my stomach doing somersaults, the stirring in my groin rising, affecting my breathing once more. I couldn't see you as I made my way through the modern Marco Polo airport; I sailed through customs and began searching the sea faces of the people awaiting those arriving. I love these moments, the faces full of love or worry, all full of anticipation, all breaking out into smiles and relief as they see and hold their friends and loved ones coming through the walkway. It always makes me feel emotional as I can't help but share in their joy and tears and smiles.
I see you then and stop. You have a big grin on your face that erupts to an even bigger smile when my eyes meet yours. Your hand shoots away from your mouth and I realise that you are probably just as nervous, perhaps even wondering if I would turn up at all?