stole
any, I was just...imagining!)
Dawn and I started keeping an eye out for each other. When she had to work overtime she'd call me, and I'd pick up Jacob from daycare and babysit him until she got home. I actually got pretty good at getting him through his bedtime routine and reading him stories until he fell asleep. Sometimes it would hurt when I'd think that if only Tiffany hadn't cheated, I could have been doing this with our baby, but I quickly put it - and the pain that little Paul wasn't my child - out of my mind.
We had keys to each other's trailer; when I caught the flu and was bedridden for a few days, Dawn popped in after not seeing me. When she found me sick as a dog from the flu, she changed my bedding, put clean pajamas on me, and made me chicken tinola, a delicious Filipino chicken soup. The few times I'd been sick when I was married, aside from bringing me the occasional Tylenol if I asked, Tiffany left me to my own devices. As September turned into October, I realized I wanted to be more than just Dawn's neighbor; thanks to my insecurities, I hesitated to broach the subject with her.
Then one Saturday while grocery shopping, a rude cashier gave me the courage to make a move. Dawn was ahead of me in the checkout line, and when she got her food stamps to pay the cashier sneered and muttered, "Another leech". I could see Dawn's hand holding her foods stamps shake slightly, and she lowered her head in shame. Suddenly, I was pissed.
Going around my cart and squeezing past the candy bars and the tabloids rack, I whipped out my 'platinum level' card (a holdover from my days as a Vice President) and handed it to the snotty bitch, declaring, "She's no leech, she's my girlfriend. I'll pay!" That shut the cashier down fast. I paid for Dawn's groceries and then mine, and we were out of there. In retrospect, I was using money as an easy fix to a problem that I should have solved differently, but my social instincts were overridden by my strong feelings for Dawn.
In the parking lot, I loaded up our groceries as Dawn wiped her tears away with a facial tissue. "Thank you, Paul," she said quietly, "you didn't have to do all that."
Playing dumb, I replied, "Do all what?"
"Paying for my groceries, and lying to that woman about me being your girlfriend." The way Dawn's soft Filipina accent made it sound like 'girlfren' just warmed my heart. No two ways about it, after a couple of months living next door to her, there wasn't much I didn't like about my pixie-sized neighbor.
"Dawn, you're a good woman who doesn't deserve to be treated like that. I don't mind taking care of you and Jacob." I paused, lowering my voice. "Besides, it doesn't have to be a lie, you know."
Her eyes grew wide in surprise. "What do you mean?"
Right there next to the shopping cart collection area, I impulsively made my move. For the first time I gathered her up in a genuine embrace with my lower body pressed against hers, instead of a chaste and platonic friendly hug.
"What I'm saying is, it's entirely up to you if you want to be my girlfriend, because I sure would like to be your boyfriend." There it was, I'd put it out there and had taken my shot.
She gently pushed against me, and I let her slip out of my arms. My impulsiveness had clearly caught her by surprise. Me too, actually, but I wasn't sorry at all. On a deeper level it meant I was finally ready to move on from the torment my ex-wife had put me through. "I... I don't know," she stammered, "I have to think about it. I mean, I never expected this."
While Dawn climbed in the front seat, I turned my attention to getting Jacob secured in his child safety seat, then got in the driver's seat. Jacob was busy enjoying the small bag of animal crackers I'd opened for him; the chirpy noise of my Volkswagen's flat-four engine was the only sound as we drove home.
Back at the trailer, Dawn got Jacob out of his safety seat while I unloaded the groceries. After I put her groceries in her kitchen, I unloaded my own. I was putting away my Twinkies, (some people smoked cigars, some people drank hard liquor, but my forbidden pleasure happened to be golden sponge cakes with a creamy filling, so shut up) when there was a tapping at my door. To my extreme delight, it was Dawn.
"Come in, but if you were my girlfriend, you wouldn't have to knock," I teased.
Dawn came in and sat at my table, her grim face as serious as an undertaker, and said "I asked Mrs. Meyer to watch Jacob for me so I could come talk to you alone. Paul, were you joking about wanting me to be your girlfriend?"
I sat across from her, and took her little hands in my big ones. Now it was my turn to be grim faced. "Dawn, I swear on my grandmother's grave I'm 100% serious. Yes, I want us to be a couple."
She shook her head in denial. "Why do you want me, of all people? It makes no sense! A man like you could have any woman he wanted. I'm a broke single 32-year-old mother on food stamps. I have the figure of an ironing board, and I'm disfigured! If I don't use a straw when I drink, I drool out of the left side of my mouth. My left eyelid doesn't close all the way; I have to wear an eyepatch at night so it doesn't dry out while I'm sleeping. You should be embarrassed to be with me!"
I threw back my head and groaned in exasperation, not only at what her bastard ex had done to her physically, but also what he'd done to her self-esteem. To persuade her she was full of shit, I gave her a piece of my mind. "Aurora Dawn Santos, that's your opinion, but frankly, it's wrong. I thought you were pretty the first day we met, and as I've gotten to know you, I found out also you're sweet and kind."
I got up out of my chair, walked around the table, pulled her to her feet, grasping her shoulders with my hands. "On top of everything else, I find you sexy as hell. You said I could have any woman I wanted. Well, here's a newsflash: I want YOU." It seemed like a good time to kiss her, so I pulled her to me and did just that.
Since the left corner of her mouth didn't work so well, kissing her was a different sensation, but one I definitely didn't mind. Now I held her firmly pressed into me, and unless she was paralyzed below the waist she couldn't miss my erection pressing against her belly. After our kiss ended, to belabor the point I pressed my face into her hair and whispered, "You're flawless."
I must have convinced her. She sighed, telling me, "You're a man, Paul Scott, and men are usually always wrong, but I really want to believe you."
Intellectually I was offended that her response was such a sweeping generalization about men, but my thoughts were drowned out by the applause from my stiffening erection. Then she gave me her definitive answer. "I'll be your girlfriend, but I'd like it if you started coming to Sunday Mass with me and Jacob. If you want to be my boyfriend, you need to be a good role model for my son." Pulling me close, she kissed me again, another long, soft and slow one.
These days I wasn't religious in the least; in fact, the last time I'd been in a church was when I got married and, given how shitty that turned out, had zero motivation to return. That last kiss, however, had given me all the motivation I needed. "Agreed," I whispered, unsure what being a role model for a small boy meant, exactly, but if that's what this woman in my arms wanted, I would not disappoint her.
My now brand-new girlfriend interrupted my reverie, telling me, "Right now I have to go and make dinner for Jacob. Tomorrow, I need you to take me back to the store. I need a few things to make my new boyfriend a special dinner."
Then she quickly kissed me again and told me, "Please take things slow with me, Paul. I really like you, but I've been through a lot. I'm afraid your feelings for me may not last. I'm not some big-city Manila girl, eager to spread my legs to trap a man. As handsome as you are, my boyfriend, if you really want my heart you're going to have to be patient with me."