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ADULT HUMOR

Valentine Card Fifties

Valentine Card Fifties

by oggbashan
4 min read
4.58 (5700 views)
adultfiction
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Copyright Oggbashan January 2022

The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons.

* * * * *

The following are 15 fifty-word stories with a Valentine Card theme. The title isn't counted.

01. Cupid's Arrows

Valentine Cards are like unaimed Cupid's arrows. They can hit, miss, or hit an unintended target.

They can be dangerous to the sender or the recipient.

They might bring love or disappointment, Think.

Would she want one from you? If anonymous, would she know who sent it? Think much harder.

02. He Lied

I sent an anonymous Valentine Card to Elaine. She thought Roger had sent it. He hadn't bothered.

Elaine's reaction was so passionate that Roger couldn't admit that he hadn't sent it. He lied and said it was his.

Now Roger and Elaine are engaged, and I'm left lonely and bereft.

03. Not you.

I thought Janie would like a Valentine card from me. I had signed it with my name. She walked across to my desk and flung the card down.

"Mike? I wouldn't want an expression of love from you or a card even if you were the last man on earth."

04. Long Lasting

Every year since before we got engaged, I posted my wife a Valentine Day card. Some years it would arrive early. My wife was upset if it arrived a day late.

On our fiftieth anniversary I enclosed a gift voucher for her favourite clothes shop. Her thanks? Incredible.

05. Success?

I thought for a long time before sending Anne a signed card. She was so miserable after she had been dumped.

She brought it back.

"Thank you, Greg, for this. I'm pleased someone fancies this fat slag. But Janet loves you. I'll give it to her"

She did. We're grateful.

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06. Wasted? No.

I sent Fiona a card through the office mail. I hadn't signed it. It was one of a dozen unsigned ones she got that day.

Andrew gave his signed one to her personally. Her reaction showed that we dozen had wasted our efforts.

I am pleased she has found love.

07. Delayed.

As we walked to work, I gave Maureen a Valentine Card.

I expected a smile and no more. Her reaction was to pull me to a stop and kiss me passionately. My card had been successful. Her lengthy kissing made us late for work.

Finding love was worth the reprimand.

08. Too Late?

A centenarian was interviewed on local TV on her birthday.

She was in great form, cracking jokes, surrounded by dozens of birthday cards. She attributed her age to a daily glass of sherry.

"I would have liked a Valentine card."

Next week she had hundreds.

"You're decades too late, dears."

09. Old Friends?

Valentine's Day was the tenth anniversary of our divorce. We should never have married. We had mistaken lust for love.

We had stayed friends.

I sent her a card saying thank you for the years we had been together and for still being a friend.

Her response? A fleeting kiss.

10. Embarrassed?

At the office Christmas party, I had held Jane in my arms as she staggered, too drunk. I had hoped, but since then, nothing.

I sent her a signed Valentine card. She kissed me in the corridor.

"Jason? Thank you for being a gentleman. I was too embarrassed -- until now."

11. Hers.

My colleague Margaret seemed moody and miserable. I didn't know why.

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I sent a card thinking it would brighten her day.

She came to me.

"Ed? I thought you were with Julie?"

"Not since Christmas," I replied.

"Then your card says you're mine."

I couldn't object as she kissed me.

12. Postal Delay

My Valentine Card to Susan was delayed in the post. I asked if she had got it.

"Not yet, Tim. You did send it?"

"Of course. I love you."

"You do? You've never said it before."

"I did, on the card, but..."

We were together when the card finally arrived.

13. The Girl Next Door

Joan is the girl next door. We had known each other since walking to our first school hand in hand.

We finished our university degrees and had local jobs, often travelling together.

I hadn't thought of sending Joan a card. She sent one to me.

Old friends are now lovers.

14. Unnecessary.

We laughed as we exchanged Valentine Cards. We didn't really need them because we loved each other.

They were a symbol of what we felt.

Two people in love don't need cards. We have other ways of expressing our feelings.

But it is still nice to express that in writing.

15. Cost.

An expensive boxed Valentine card might not mean the same as a basic card with a sincere message. It could but it often says more about the sender than it means to the recipient.

Love doesn't need to be showy.

Honesty and sincerity don't count the cost of true love.

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