On the eight day of Christmas, My true love did not come home last night. When he did that morning I found the hotel receipt in his pocket, he probably spent the last eight hours with that damn floozy. When I confronted him he admitted to seeing her for the past seven month after all she did give him one hell of a blowjob. He then told me, that fucking me the other morning at six a.m. was a big mistake, I should know better than seduce him when he is not awake. He then went on to complain that I should not have maxed out all five credit cards. He also grumbled that I had the audacity to call him four naughty words; three he just knew were cuss words in French. He'd better get away from me or I might give him two more black eyes. After all, I am not a happy camper; that's while I filed the divorce decree!
On the ninth day of Christmas, My true love told me he was going to a strip joint to see nine women dancing, because he was tired of listening to me nag at him. Afterwards he wasn't coming home until he was ready which meant to me, he was going to visit that his new lover for eight more hours of hot sex. You know the woman he met seven months, ago. Adding he was sleeping in the guest room so I could not seduce him at six a.m. anymore. I'm glad I maxed out those five credit card bills. After that, I'm going to call him four more naughty words, and cuss him out using the three French ones. God damn-it, I was just about to blow again and give him two more black eyes. By then he'd be wishing he'd filed the divorce decree, first.
On the tenth day of Christmas, My true love covered his ears and knew he should not of went to the club and got drunk, because it felt like he had ten drummers, beating their drums inside his head. However he did enjoy the nine women dancing. He had to call his new love, and talk to her for eight minutes, to explain things, and calm her down. You know the one, the floozy he's been having an affair with for the past seven months. He stated he will also continue sleeping in the guest room, as he doesn't want to even see me at six a.m. He frowned and walked into the den. Once he knew she could not hear him he smirked and told himself, "He-he at midnight I am raiding her purse to get those five credit cards and then I'm cutting them up. I already know four naughty words, but would have to learn three French ones, before I can tell her off. She'll probably give me two more black eyes. Damn-it, I should have filed that damn divorce decree first for my sanity!"
On the eleventh day of Christmas, My true love said, "I don't give a damn about anything anymore, and I can give you eleven reasons why. I no longer hear the sound of ten drummer beating drums inside my head. I cannot visit the strip joint with nine women dancing, because the cops closed it down. Damn, they sure know how to ruin a man's night of fun! I won't even talk to my new lover for even eight seconds; turns out, she is fucking hooker. I also deleted all those so called hot emails the bitch sent me for the past seven months. I also regret fucking my wife the other morning at six a.m. I also arranged to pay off those five credit card bills and it felt good to cut them up. I already have four naughty words in my mind to tell her. Now you'll have to excuse me, I'm going to the library where I can learn three French ones, so I can cuss her out good the next time. I do not care if she gives me two more black eyes. After all, she did signed the divorce decree!"
On the twelfth day of Christmas, My true love said, "I packed twelve bags and headed out of town. You got it I will be in hiding. I will not get the eleven reasons why. I will not get drunk to the point I hear ten drummers, drumming, I will not even look at nine women dancing! Nor will I go looking for one night of eight hours of hot sex! I do not plan to contact the bitch who said she loved me for seven months. I did visited the ex wife one more time, told her she won't see me at six a.m. any more because I am leaving town. I then told her I cut up those five credit cards, and gave her my keys to the house. Then I called her four naughty words, along with three that were French! (The French words meant, goodbye bitch!) You all can guess what happen next, she gave me two black eyes. Boy I am I glad they granted that damn divorce decree! She might have killed me by Christmas time next year!"