The Talk 9

He walked up to the table she sat at, waiting. Waiting for him. She was dressed to kill, even after recently giving birth she looked the beautiful voluptuous woman she was. He'd not seen her in several months, and out of the blue she'd called him, asking to meet. To discuss things, to try to work things out, to get back together. So there he was, sitting down, facing a woman he'd once loved like no other. Until, she broke his heart. After placing his drink order and trading a couple of strained greetings, he opened with, "You said you wanted to talk, so talk."

Stung at his callousness, at his curtness, the pretty auburn haired woman coolly replied with, "Are you over your anger, yet?"

Studiously ignoring the woman's question, he asked one of his own. "Why do you want to get back together?"

Caught off-guard by his unexpected response, she involuntarily frowned slightly in response as she let the question's words flow freely through her mind, trying to squeeze every possible meaning out of them. He took her expression to indicate irritation and disapproval. His anger, never far from the surface, made itself felt.

"Okay. I'm out of here."

Grabbing his coat, he made to stand.

"Wait! Stop! Why are you leaving? You just got here." she said in surprise, her voice a bit tremulous.

"Answer my question and I'll consider staying longer." snapped the man.

She looked into his eyes. She'd always been able to tell what mood he was in by his hazel eyes, only now, all she saw was intense anger and something else. She didn't know what that something else was. Whatever it was, she felt it wasn't in her favor.

"I- I miss you. I want to have what we had before. I love you. I need you." she said beseechingly.

Somewhat mollified at her quick reply, the man settled himself more comfortably into his seat. "You didn't need me when you were with him! How can you say you love me when you lied to me and deceived me! All the time we were together you were with him, too. Fucking him. Loving him! What kind of shit is that?" the man said in a voice dripping with scorn.

Lowering her head in shame, she said, "I know! I'm sorry! I thought- I don't know what I thought. I guess I didn't think." Raising her head, to look at him, her eyes brimming with tears, she added, "Please! I'm sorry! I won't do it again! Ever! Just take me back!"

Shaking his head in disgust at her response, the man looked at the weeping woman. His heart would have melted at her tears, once, now all he felt was a cold anger that held no compassion.

"I thought you were different. I thought you were serious about us. I thought what I felt and said mattered to you. I was wrong. You're just another cheating slut."

"NO! Please! Don't say that! I do love you. Only you! No one else. Please. I made a mistake. I can't take it back. I wish I could, but I can't." she cried in desperation.

He felt his anger rising at her words. He tried to calm himself. After a few seconds of her quiet tears, he managed to gain control.

"When we first met, I thought I'd found the perfect woman. In every way, you were the woman I'd been looking for all my life. For too long I'd been wallowing in the vileness of my job and you made me feel that good did exist in the world. After that, everyday I was flying high. Then, I found out about him, but you convinced me it was over. Against my better judgment, I believed you. Things weren't really the same after that, but somehow we managed to stay together, and we moved on. I continued to have my suspicions, nevertheless, I went along with what you said. But, it really wasn't over! You lied to me! You planned and carried out a very well thought out deception."

The woman moaned as if in pain as he spoke. She wanted to deny it all, to pretend it had never happened. The truth was supported by the facts he stated, however.

"You had his child! That's not a mistake or even a fucking accident. A mistake? You willfully got pregnant by him! It takes planning to get off the pill and get pregnant. I doubt one fuck did it. I can guess that you were with him multiple times! Until you were sure you were pregnant. So, explain to me how exactly is that a mistake?"

"I didn't want to." She cried. "He made me to do it."

"Oh- So he raped you, first making sure you were off the pill? Perhaps, he waited to rape you until you started ovulating? A few weeks, or maybe a couple of months?" The man said sarcastically. "In the meantime, maybe he practiced raping you? Is that what you're telling me?"

"Yes! No! I mean- He was forceful. He wouldn't take no for an answer. He was constantly wanting to have sex. Then, he wanted a child. Somehow he found my birth control pills and threw them in the toilet. It was a new refill. It was a ninety day prescription. I tried-"

"I'm not buying it!" he said, interrupting her.

"What do you mean? It's the truth! I'm not lying! I-"

"Listen to yourself! Nothing but excuses! Lame ones, at that. How many times did you turn me down when I wanted to make love to you? I can tell you, it was more than a few times! And, if I remember correctly, you even went so far as to insure I understood that no means no! How often did that happen? Why, let me think- More times than we fucked! So, why didn't you use the same reasoning with him? Answer me that!"

She looked around, not really seeing anything, trying to collect her thoughts. His questions were poignant, why did she allow herself to be forced? Why didn't she tell him no?

"I don't know. I guess-"

"NO! That's not an answer!" said the man, more loudly than he intended to, as he noticed a few of the restaurant patrons turn their heads towards the table he and the woman sat at. More calmly, he continued, "Why didn't you tell him no? Huh? What sort of hold does he have over you that you mindlessly do what he says?"

"I'm sorry! I don't know. Maybe it's because he's- Commanding." she explained tentatively, almost fearfully.

"Oh? And I'm not? I'm not the dominating type? Is that it?" hissed the man in fury.

"No! It's not that! You're loving. You don't take, you give. You're kind, caring, gentle. You listen to me and you didn't force yourself on me. It's why I love you so much."

"A fat lot of good that did me, when you were in his bed and not mine! You could have walked away from him at anytime! Did he physically threaten you? No! Did he hold you against your will? No! In fact, you willfully stayed with him! Isn't that right?"

"Please! Why are you treating me like I'm a criminal! You're acting like we're in court and your the prosecutor! Please stop! Can't you see I'm in pain, too!"

The man's eyes widened and his nostrils flared, as his anger threatened to be unleashed. He visibly calmed himself, forcing his anger back into control.

"I am a criminal defense attorney! Or did you forget after all this time? Although you didn't break any laws by fucking him and having his child, you did break your vow to me. How am I supposed to feel? You said you loved me! You said you wanted us to have a family. That you wanted to have my children! To spend a lifetime with me. And, the fool that I am, I believed your bullshit. So, tell me, how am I supposed to react to your- indiscretion." He said with a cruel laugh. "And just how did I cause you any pain? Because I won't take back a cheating slut?"

At his words, her eyes filled with such a deluge of tears she could no longer see him, and her shoulders shook with suddenly released anguish. He was right, she couldn't deny the truth of the words he spoke. She had said those things to him, and she had meant them, she still did.

"Can't you give me another chance? I won't see him ever again! I promise! I'll be only yours. Please, I'm begging you. I love you. I didn't realize how much until- Until, you stopped calling me, to see me. I have missed you so much these past months my heart is in constant pain. Please, baby, I now know you're the only man for me! You'll always will be!"

"You want another chance?" the man asked musingly with a cruel twist of his mouth. "Okay. Fine. Here's your chance. Get rid of the kid. Sign it over to him. Tell him to his face you hate what he made you do! Tell him that you hate everything of his, including his child. And never ever have any contact with him, or his kid!" he said with a harsh vehemence. "You do that, and maybe we'll have a chance. We'll move out of state. We'll start fresh. I'm a very good litigator, I can easily get on with some decent firm, and be on top in no time."

His words shocked her, even horrified her. Give up her son? Hate her own baby? The thought made her sick to her stomach and a new ache settled in her heart. She couldn't do that. She couldn't give up her child. Of a sudden she knew that. And with that realization, a deeper despair set in. He was going to leave her! She knew that now. Leave her forever!

She shook her head in disbelief. How had it come to this? She knew she'd screwed up, but she really thought he would forgive her. She began to weep openly, crying aloud.

"Stop that! You're making a scene! Stop crying, or I'll leave right this instant." ordered the man.

"I'm sorry. Please! I'll stop." she blubbered.

"Well? Are you going to do what I've demanded? Or...?"

"I can't! I just can't! He's my son! Regardless of who his father is, he's my baby! Please don't ask me to do that! Please! I'll do anything else! I'll be your slave! I'll give you anything else. Another baby. A son. But, not that! Please!"

Shaking his head, the man grabbed his coat and stood.

"No, it's that or nothing. You brought this upon yourself. You lied to me. You thought you could have your cake and eat it, too." said the man calmly, almost emotionless. "I'm not raising someone else's child. And, obviously, I won't have to. Goodbye."

"Wait! Please, we can-" she began.

"There's nothing to wait for and we can't do shit! It's very clear to me. You made your choice. We're done! Go back to him! Go back to your husband." he said in bitter resignation as he slowly walked away from the woman, and out through the door of the restaurant.