Curtain Rods Secret

(I am dedicating this to my dear Silky. May this never be her experience.)

Sarah Chuckles was as much fun as her name. She was also a successful business woman and at 28 had not been especially looking for love. When one of her colleagues invited her to a house-warming party, Sarah was pleased to accept, being by nature a gregarious kind of girl. She took trouble choosing a ‘smart-casual' outfit for the occasion and went along with high hopes of having an enjoyable time.

Unlike some who deliberately turn up late for any event, Sarah was among the early arrivals. That suited her admirably as she liked to meet as many people as possible before the party warmed up. After a certain time, things often get ‘loud,' not only from some of the music, but when people have had a certain amount of liquor, they tend to lose their inhibitions. Once normal conversation had become difficult, Sarah would party with the best of them.

Bryan Lloyd breezed into the party with all the confidence of a ‘self-made‘ man. At 30, this handsome blond already owned an expanding string of businesses and was very rich. Talking with Sarah, he quickly realized that his money would have little influence on her and so he relied on his natural charm to impress her. They spent a lot of time together and swapped phone numbers before leaving the party.

He rang her the next day and they arranged to meet. On the following Friday, he picked her up in his red Mercedes convertible and took her to a very nice restaurant that they both knew and then on to a show. For the whole evening, he was the perfect gentleman, attentive and charming. Nothing was too much trouble and she responded with beauty and wit.

The evening was magical and he swept her off her feet. He dropped her off, escorting her to the door of her house. As they exchanged parting pleasantries, she allowed him to take her in his arms and kiss her. Although love was already in the air, they restrained themselves to a simple kiss. She invited him to join her the following evening for a dinner that she would prepare and he agreed.

A quick parting kiss and she watched him walk back to his car and drive (roar) away. She waved him off with a lump in her throat and a tears of joy in her eyes. A few days ago, none of this was even a daydream - now it was total reality. Was this how love felt?

Over the next days and weeks, they met frequently, getting to know each other better and with their relationship growing ever stronger. One night, he took her back to that same first restaurant. After a memorable meal and just as dessert had been served, he pulled out a little box. Moving around beside her, he went down on one knee, opened the box to reveal an exquisite five-diamond ring and asked her to marry him. This time, there weren't simply tears in her eyes but a flood of joy as she said, "Yes!" She flung her arms around his neck and embraced him hard and long.

Those seated nearby, seeing what was unfolding, began to applaud - something that quickly spread around the whole restaurant. Bryan disengaged her arms, climbed back to his feet, turned and bowed to the celebrating diners. The noise reached a crescendo as Bryan took Sarah's hand, raised her to her feet and ‘presented' her to their new admirers. After several moments, they sat back in their places and everything settled down to normal.

Each was now too ‘full' to do justice to the otherwise delicious dessert. Sarah knew that there was one matter that had to be faced - and the sooner the better. So, laying down her spoon, she looked him straight in the eye and told him that she could not have babies.

Bryan thought about it for a moment, then said, "Not the ideal situation, but we'll handle it, together. So - not a problem."

In due time, they had a big no-expense-spared wedding followed by a super, luxury honeymoon cruise around the Mediterranean. On their return, they moved into the lovely new house that they'd had built and in which Sarah had had a big hand designing.

Life was idyllic. From personal choice, both continued their business careers though now they took more vacations. And their gorgeous house was the scene of many memorable parties.

Bryan was true for 5 years but then he got the 'itch' and started 'to spread himself around'.

Sarah's suspicions were aroused when his attention began to waver. At parties, he would spend increasing time with any of the 'pretty young things' who were in attendance. Gradually, minor arguments led to outright rows and their life fell apart. They divorced.

Sarah didn't want to let bitterness ‘rule' her life, so she quickly agreed to let him keep their wonderful house in exchange for their Grand Caravan and a lump sum settlement in seven figures. The lawyers gave her two weeks to vacate the house she had grown to love so much.

She spent most of her allotted time packing her belongings into boxes, crates, and suitcases. Near the end of the second week, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On her last day, she spent time just walking around the house, saying her 'last goodbyes' to it. Then she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of chardonnay.

When she had finished, she apologized to the house for what she was about to do to it. She went into each and every room and stuffed half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of all of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When Bryan returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first day or three. Then, slowly but surely, the house began to smell. They tried everything: cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. They had the vents checked for dead rodents; the carpets were steam cleaned, and air fresheners were hung all around the house.

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days. As a last resort, they even paid to have the floor boards take up and the space underneath inspected. There was nothing to be found. In fact, absolutely nothing worked.

Their friends stopped coming over to visit - and parties were a thing of the past! Repairmen refused to work in the house and the maid quit, despite the offer of a huge rise. At last, out of sheer desperation, when they could take the stench no longer, they decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and, eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they concluded that getting rid of the house at practically any price - and to anyone who would take it off their hands - would be better than staying a minute longer than necessary in the now-awful place that had once been such a desirable residence.

Then, unexpectedly, Sarah called Bryan and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Imagining that his ex-wife had simply no idea how bad the smell really was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth - but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed, and, within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later, Bryan and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything - right down to such minutiae as the curtain rods - into the moving van to take to their new home.

"I just love a happy ending, don't you?" Sarah chuckles.