The Splooge Cum On Cum All

Author's note:

This is a work of humor. (Do not try.)

I woke up one morning and it was Nude Day

So I took off my clothes, and in bed I lay

I tried but I failed getting my sweetie to wake

So into my own hands I knew it would take

I liked being nude, I was hard as a rock

So I lay in my bed and I pumped my cock

As things progressed, as things started to hum

I knew it was time, I was going to cum

I looked over at her as she slept in our bed

And I knew it was wrong, but I aimed for her head

I came on her hair and I came on her nose

I came on her knees and I came on her toes

I came on her neck and a came on her back

I came on her legs, I must have a knack

I came in her bra and I came in her shoes

I came in her purse, that gave her the blues

But I still wasn't finished, I had to have more

So still as nude as a jaybird, I walked out the door

I came on the doorknob as I left for the day

I came on her car sitting in the driveway

The neighbors were shocked as I walked in the nude

I came on their lawns, and they said "How rude!"

I came on the men fixing the water main

I came on the blind man walking with a cane

I came on the ladies waiting for the bus

And the kinky young couple who said "both of us"

I came on the people waiting to cross the street

I came on the lady with the pretty feet

I came on the man in the convertible car

I came on his passenger, my cum sailed quite far

I came in the fountain as I got to the park

And on the birdwatchers, as they watched the skylark

I came on the nice lady lying out in the sun

I came on the couple out for their morning run

I came on the lifeguard and I came in the pool

People jumped out so fast when I pulled out my tool

I came on a wedding and on a priest reading vows

I came on the bride's mother and her pretty silk blouse

I came on the groom who was saying "I do"

I came on the bride and her wedding gown too

I came on the gifts and on the wedding cake

And on the poor baker, it was all he could take

The bride's father was mad, in fact he was prickly

So I came on his tux, then I left rather quickly

As I ran from the park, I came on old ladies knitting

And on the chess table where people were sitting

I came on some people outside a café

I came on their croissants, I ruined their day

I came on the baristas making café au lait

I came on people in line who were waiting to pay

I came in a man's coffee and on his wife's pastry

I made her beignet just a bit extra tasty

My stroll ended when I arrived at the big baseball game

On the man selling tickets, I came and I came

I came on the beer vendor as he walked through the stands

I came on the man holding beers in both hands

I came on the fan shouting 'swing, batter batter'

I came on his peanuts, it made quite a splatter

I came on the heckler saying 'murder tha bum'

I came on his hot dog, it made him quite glum

I came on the man saying 'hey batter, you stink'

I came on his wife too, but she liked it and winked

I came on the team, watching from the dugout

That made them so mad, they all started to shout

I came on the team mascot as he did his cartwheel

And on the visiting team as they ran on the field

I came on the pitcher as he stood on the mound

The ball got so slippery, it just fell to the ground

I came on the batter as he wound up to hit

I came on the catcher, got him right in his mitt

I came on the umpire as he called a strike

I came on the announcer talking into his mike

It's a good thing I'm fast, since they started to chase

And they were fast too, it was quite a race

But One thing I know from my present and past

When you cum all over people, you'd better run fast

Closing author's note:

Thank you for reading, I hope you got what I meant. Got a verse you'd like to add? Submit a comment