[Inspired by and dedicated to a very lovely Swedish woman
The screenplay was submitted separately]
Director's Diary 12.1.2011:
We're waiting for Moi and Soi to get here, they're the asian ladyboys we've booked to play Toi and Noi. From their pictures they seem super hot and I think we'll get a boxcover that people will love. I picture Soi sucking off Moi and spreading her asscheeks for the camera. Little do they know that instead of smut they are buying my modernist existential masterpiece parody! Muahhahahhaaa. Muahhahahah.
***
"Sir, Moi and Soi just arrived. Where should I bring them?"
"Here of course, I want to meet them"
Moi and Soi walk into my office from the reception area dressed like the ladyboy hookers they are.
"Pleased to meet, Sir" Moi says. "We her so much about your movie."
"Please. please call me....err what should they call me" I ask my trusty assistant Sylvia.
"Sir?"
"Yes, please call me ...err... Please sit down."
Soi and Moi sit in the chairs on the other side of my desk and preen themselves as true ladyboys are wont to do.
"Can I offer you...well first how would you like to be called," I ask.
"Tell me I'm lust whore-girl," Soi says confidently.
"I mean, what are your names...err...nevermind..." I mutter, "So have you memorized your lines?"
"Lines?" asks Moi incredulously.
"You know the script...," I reply.
"Script?" says Moi.
"Sylvia?," I ask authoritatively.
"It wasn't me, Sir!" Sylvia says with a look of genuine shock on her face.
Director's Diary 13.1.2011:
We're waiting to hear back from the script editors on their approval of the script. So far it has been met with rejection and misunderstanding. Modernist erotica is dead before it has begun. Sigh. Ah well, I will post it to literotica so that it can be read, on the suggestion of a dear friend.
The actresses are here, and we just need Ron Jeremy who plays Marlan Bondo. I hope he learned his lines!
It is already day 2 of the shoot and we're already 2 days behind. We've budgeted enough for only 3 days. I've decided to film the sex scenes separately now that our Toi and Noi are here. I think I want Moi to get a boner when she says: "It exposes the emptiness of modern life. We are all just apparitions, dark specks in the distance on the Mongolian steppe." And then I want her to butter Soi's bunghole with her finger.
Moi's diary 13.1.2011:
This director I think is a little strange. Where is the sex? I came here to make a porno. But I'm somehow stuck in this theatre piece that makes no sense. Forgive me while I jerk off and splatter cum all over the script.
Soi's diary 13.1.2011:
This shit is fucked up. Fuck this shit. I'm going to see if the director will suck me off.
"Is director in," Soi asks my assistant Sylvia in the reception area.
"He's in a meeting," Sylvia says reliably.
"What kind meeting?" Soi asks Syliva.
"You can't go in," Sylvia.
"I need my cock suck." Soi says.
Sylvia buzzes me. "Sir, Soi is here. He says he needs his cock sucked."
"I'm busy Sylvia. Can you take care of it?" I say absent-mindedly.
"With pleasure, Sir!"
I lean back in my plush leather chair in my air-conditioned office in a skyscraper overlooking Bangkok, and put my feet up on my desk. I dream of the revenue that this title will rake in, as well as the stealth way I will have my modernist masterpiece made. I'm startled back to reality by my phone ringing.
"Hi, this is Ron Jeremy," a most welcome caller.
"Ron, baby, where are you!" I am overjoyed. Now the filming can proceed.
"I'm at the airport," Ron tells me.
"Wait right there. I'll send my assistant to pick you up."
"Sylvia" I buzz her. "Mmmghhhmm," she replies.
"Ron Jeremy is at the airport"
