The following story is an attempt to be irreverent, funny, erotic, sarcastic, and maybe a little bit provocative. And while it certainly could be perceived as disrespectful to some unspecified President, or that President's fictional family, or the Presidency in general, it is offered more as a humorous caricature of our funny world. Most importantly, whether your politics are red, blue, purple or some other color, I hope it tickles our common ability to laugh at ourselves. Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing Fictional President, Arnold Scott Stump.
Also, a special citation to Lit. writer offkilter123, for showing me a path to getting a story such as this published. Thank you offkilter123!!
Enjoy.
White House, Press Briefing Room
"No! As discussed, a million times, I will not release my tax returns until the audit is complete."
"But Mr. President, the audit has been underway for over a year now; when do you expect the audit to be complete?"
"I don't know. I am a very, very, successful businessman, with huge, really-huge assets positioned all around the world, so it must be difficult for the civil servants at the I.R.S. to track my success. It could be a really, really, long time before the audit is complete, and a really-long time before I can tell all of you exactly how big and how really, really, great my business is."
"Well then, how about Russia Mr. President? Do you accept the determination by the U.S. Intelligence agencies that Russia had an impact on the election result?"
"No, I do not accept that determination! It is totally Fake News made up by the Democrat's and their cronies, then fed to the New York Times, the Washington Post, CNN, MSNBC, and every other elite media outfit. They want to hide the fact that they lost in an incredible landslide to the People's President, Arnold S. Stump. I may love Fictor Nutin, and Fictor Nutin may love me, but I won the election because a record number of Electoral College voters chose me, and not that criminal Hillaria Clintoris."
"OK folks, one more Question from Fran Haggarty of Fox News."
"Thank you, Mr. President. I'd like to ask how you became so great, after starting from such humble beginnings' sir? I mean, the rest of us struggle so much in difficult circumstances, but you sir, you seem to thrive on challenges and find success where the rest of us would fail miserably. Can you enlighten us Mr. President?"
"Thank you, Fran, and that is a really, really, great question; maybe the best question ever asked of any President. It all started when I was only a little boy, and my father took me to the construction sites of his company. Over the course of one summer, I learned how to excavate a building, install plumbing, hang, and paste drywall, erect steel, and manage the budget of a construction project. The year after that I took over the engineering of the buildings, and the following year I negotiated the financing and discounted the invoices of the subcontractors. I'll tell you Fran, it was really tough, but by the time I was twelve, I was the smartest guy on the job, and everyone was coming to me, asking for help on how to do their job better. I don't know if it's because of my big brain, or my big hands, or some other really-big part of my body, but I was the only guy who could get things done, and it was a really-amazing beginning.
Fran, that was a really-great question, but as great as I am, I can't even fully explain why my abilities are just so totally, like really-inexplicably great. Did that help Fran?"
"Uh, certainly; absolutely clear now Mr. President. Thank you."
"This has been really fun for me today, jousting back and forth with all of you media types, but I don't think anyone will be able to ask a better question than Fran just did, so we're gonna end the press conference right here. But remember, Arnold S. Stump is on the job, and starting right now, we are going to make this country wonderful again!
"Kiley-Ann, can I please see you in the oval office immediately?"
White House, Oval Office
"Mr. President, that was such an amazing performance sir. The way you handle those animals from the press, sir, it's so humbling for me to watch you work."
"Thank you, Kiley-Ann, and I'm sure it is humbling, but you are a pretty-special little piece yourself. Come over here and sit in my big Presidential chair with me Kiley-Ann, and we can discuss how special you really are my dear."
"Oh, yes Sir, Mr. President. I get such goose bumps when I sit in the big chair with you Sir."
"Now tell me Kiley-Ann about your special titties? Tell me again how you like to play with them, and how the nipples get really, really-hard when you sit in my really-big, Presidential chair Kiley-Ann."
"Oh, Mr., my titties President are only a C- cup sir, a 34" C- cup, but they love to be played with really-rough sir, and they really-love you Sir, so my nipples get so really-hard when I think of you Sir, which I do so often. Please Mr. President, pinch my nipples Sir., pinch them really, really, hard Sir! Oooooohhhhh Mr. President Sir, that feels sooooo good Sir; oh, pinch them harder Sir, I love it sooooo much!"
"Tell me a little more Kiley-Ann; have you dressed appropriately to sit in the President's big chair today? Have you made the changes to become a good Presidential assistant that I suggested you make? Did you Kiley-Ann?"
"Oh yes, I did Mr. President, Sir. As you can see Mr. President, I have on my new 5" Louboutin heels, made of soft white leather, and with a peep toe just like you told me you like Mr. President. And I painted my toe-nails bright red, just like you told me! Don't they look so nice Mr. President? And I shaved my pussy completely bald Mr. President, just like you asked, and I'm not wearing any panties Mr. President, and I know how much you like that. Please, tell me I'm a good assistant Mr. President, please tell me how good I am."
"Well, Kiley-Ann, I do love your little hard, nippled-titties, and I'll pinch them all day long if that's what you like. And, with your beautiful new shoes, you certainly do look like a Presidential assistant. But most importantly Kiley-Ann, I need to inspect your pussy to assure you fully understand your Presidential assistant job. Take your dress off Kiley-Ann and let me grab and inspect that pussy of yours.
"Would you help with the zipper Mr. President?"
"Certainly Kiley-Ann, let's get this dress out of the way so we can get down to some really, really, important Presidential assisting. And remove the bra too Kiley-Ann. Remove everything except those very sexy Louboutin's."
"Oh Kiley-Ann, you look spectacular for an over-worked and aging assistant. You adhered to everything that your President told you Kiley-Ann, and it appears that you are beginning to understand exactly how to be a Presidential assistant. Let me twist those nipples again Kiley-Ann, to find out exactly how dedicated you are to your job. How does that feel Kiley-Ann?"
"Ooohhh Mr. President it hurts soooo much Mr. President, ooooohhhhhh!"
"You're doing fine Kiley-Ann, just a little bit longer." "Ooooooooohhhhhh Mr. President pleasssssssseeeeee."
"Ok Kiley-Ann, easy does it on your titties for now, as I know you are just learning to be a good assistant. But, let me see what progress you've made on your pussy and your dirty, little, rear hole Kiley-Ann."
"Well Mr. President, I've shaved my pussy completely bald as you requested Sir, and I gave myself an enema like you instructed, Mr. President. And this plug had been up my ass all morning Sir. I do hope it all helps with my Presidential assisting Sir."
"Kiley-Ann, the President is very happy with your assisting so far today. Hop right up on top of my big, big, Presidential desk, and lie back with your Louboutin's up by your ears so that I can better inspect your lower chamber, Kiley-Ann."
"Yes Sir Mr. President. How does it all look Sir?"
"Oh Kiley-Ann, your pussy is very smooth, which I like, and it's drenched in your juices, which I also like. Tell me Kiley-Ann, how does that plug feel in your ass right now?"
"Oh Mr. President it feels sooooo tight, but soooo good, and soooo filling Mr. President".
"How does it feel now Kiley-Ann, as I fuck you with the plug and rub your clitty a little bit?"
"Oh Mr. President, oooooohhhhh, fuck me Mr. President; uuuuggggggghhhhhhhhh. Fuck me Mr. President!"
"Or how about now Kiley-Ann? My big, big hand, is all the way inside your pussy Kiley-Ann; can you take a fist-fuck Kiley-Ann with that butt plug up your ass?"
"Oh Mr. President I'm gonna cum Mr. President; fuck me with your really-big hands Mr. President; oh Mr. President fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh fuccccccckkkkkkk meeeeeeeeeeeeeee." Arrrrraaaaaaaaaaggggggggghhhhhhhhh, OH FUCK ME MR. PRESIDENT I'M CUMMING AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!"
"Kiley-Ann, you are becoming such a great little assistant with your slutty Louboutin's, your bald and soaking wet pussy, and your skinny little ass, crammed tight with that plug. You are becoming a real Presidential assistant Kiley-Ann. But sometimes a President faces grave challenges Kiley-Ann, and things get really, really, hard for him. How would you handle that kind of challenge Kiley-Ann?"
"Well, first Mr. President, I'd pull out my tube of Presidential oil Sir. And then I'd help you lower your trousers and underwear Mr. President. And then I'd take the oil and anoint your big, hard, problem Sir. Just like this, Sir. Does that big, hard, problem seem to be getting any better Mr. President?"
"Oh, you are so good at handling hard problems Kiley-Ann. That's it, keep working that problem up and down Kiley-Ann, nice and slow. That's it Kiley-Ann, up and down, and up and down, and up and down, make that hard problem go away Kiley-Ann. Do it for the American people! Oh, Kiley-Ann, the problem's almost gone Kiley-Ann there it goes, there it goes now Kiley-Ann. Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhh...."
Knock - Knock; "Mr. President, we have an international emergency sir. Your presence is requested immediately in the situation room Sir."
"Ok, ok, your President needs a minute to finish up his important business, I'll be right there. Quick Kiley-Ann, clean me off and then get dressed, I've got a situation to handle. But before you leave, put the plug in my middle drawer for me to enjoy later this evening while I'm working out my digits on Twitter."
White House, Situation Room
"All right fellows, what's the big emergency that required the President to rush on down to the situation room?"
"Mr. President, our intelligence officials have located a North Korean factory currently producing almost ten million dollars per day in extremely high-quality counterfeit U.S. ten-, twenty-, and one-hundred-dollar notes, sir. Shall we send out some drones and smart bomb their ass sir?"
"No, No, No, absolutely no bombing, General. I am a great negotiator, remember? We need to keep this factory, and its purpose, completely top secret until I can formulate a plan on how we can obtain the hard proof and evidence of this diabolical North Korean attack."
