Cream & Coco

All characters are at least 18 years old.

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Shame. What a word to wake up to.

I sat up in bed, the vibrator lying next to my legs. I dropped my face into my hands and took a deep breath before eyeing the bullet warily. Rubbing sleep from my eyes, I trudged into my bathroom to get the day started. It was still early in the morning, owing to having crashed out soon after dinner last night. I looked at myself in the mirror, trying to see if there were any visual cues after waking up from the best sleep... maybe ever.

I had climaxed to thoughts of my son.

No. No, no, no. That's not how it happened. I had used a sex toy for the first time, and after almost two decades of no stimulation, I had been overwhelmed. Well, that was a truth. Not the entire truth, but it would have to do. I sighed. My head was a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions, and only denial was going to give me enough time to sort through it all.

From my bedroom, my phone began ringing with the tone I reserved for my parents. I had completely forgotten to call them last night to let them know Drew and I wouldn't be visiting them for the weekend like we normally did. Without enough time to rehearse the fibs I would need, I answered.

"Coco?" My mother's warm voice came through the line, making me feel even more guilty. She would've known what to do. In the span of a few days, I'd made a royal mess of things. My self-esteem as a mother was at an all-time low. "Did you forget to give us a call?" She sounded teasing.

"Yeah, sorry mom," I sighed. "Things have been... out of sorts lately."

"Well it's that time of year," she laughed. "The holidays always do shake things up."

"No, mom. It's Drew."

There was a pause before she quietly asked, "What's happened?"

"He's been spending time away from home at some girl's house. Like, spending the night and everything."

"Oh my God, great-grandbabies!" she squealed in delight.

"Mom!"

"Hehe, sorry, sorry. But isn't this a good thing?" When I didn't answer, she sighed sympathetically. "Oh, Coco. I know it'll take some getting used to, but Drew's growing up. Yes, he's your darling boy, but if it's time for him to leave the nest, you have to let him go."

"Yeah, you're right," I said levelly. "I should probably go. I'm sorry for forgetting to call."

"That's alright, honey. Just tell little Drew not to have too much fun, alright?" she chuckled.

"Of course. Love you, mom."

I hung up and dashed to my bathroom, planted my hands firmly on the edge of my sink, and retched hard. Involuntary tears came to my eyes as my stomach heaved, and I tried to gasp in steady breaths when my body again failed to vomit. I moaned pitifully, head spinning, then spat and rinsed my mouth out.

*A mutual friend. Lexi Rochester.*

By this point, I think the name was burned into my mind. I couldn't make sense of my thoughts, and with hours left before I met up with Sasha I needed something to distract me. I had plain toast for breakfast, as dry as possible in case I lost it in the toilet later on. I spent the morning cleaning the house, forcing myself to think about nothing in particular.

Lunchtime rolled around and I decided to risk some oatmeal. I needed somebody to talk to or I was going to lose my mind. And as insane as it was, there was only one person I could discuss my current state with. I dialed her number and waited for her to pick up.

"*Privet*," she said, voice a bit groggy.

"Sasha? Hi, it's Coco from yesterday. Sorry if I woke you up. I was wondering if we could meet earlier than planned today, if you're not busy."

"No, no busy." She sounded amenable, immediately livening up, which was a relief. "I meet you at cafe next hour."

"Sounds good. See you then."

Safety in telling stranger secret, she had said yesterday. Out of everybody I had to confide in, who'd have thought?

--

Sasha was already there when I arrived, smiling brightly at me. Her wavy blonde hair was down, flowing easily off her shoulders. She didn't have that exotic look of most Slavic girls, but she was still undeniably beautiful. It still struck me as odd why she would want to hang out with me. Most girls her age wouldn't be caught dead spending time with an older woman, sometimes even if it was their mother. It made me all the more grateful for her help.

"*Zdravstvuyte*, Coco," she said in greeting, setting her phone on the table. I paused as I sat down, cocking my head a bit.

"Didn't you say something different when you answered the phone earlier? I thought that was how Russians said hello."

"*Privet*?" she offered, and I nodded. "That is for friends." She frowned, as if searching for the right word. "Peers. *Zdravstvuyte* is... formal. Use for elders."

"Great, you managed to make me feel old in another language," I laughed.

"Would you prefer *privet*?"

"Maybe, yeah." I smiled sheepishly, and she returned it.

"Then *privet*, Coco."

"Privet, Sasha."

We ordered our drinks, and she kindly added my sugar for me.

"So, you want to talk early today," she prompted. "Toy is good?"

"Yes," I replied, becoming bashful. "Very good."

She grinned. "And thoughts of boy is good too?"

"I... Um..." Her eyes glittered, and I decided to dodge the question. "Actually, I have a problem." Her brows raised in curiosity. "I think he likes another girl."

"Another girl?" she repeated in shock. "But he loves you, yes? How could he like another girl?"

"Her name is Lexi." At this, Sasha's lips twisted, though her expression was unreadable. "I think he's been spending the night with her."

Her eyes widened, then she recovered and frowned. "But he loves you, yes?"

I sighed. "Like I tried to tell you yesterday, it's complicated. He and I... being together like that wouldn't be proper."

"I do not understand. Why?"

I hesitated. I was asking for advice, right? She needed to know more details to help me. I didn't think I needed to worry about being judged; she seemed like an open-minded person. Besides, I wasn't asking how to bed him.

"He's... quite a bit younger than me." I could already see the question in her eyes. "Perhaps your age." A look of surprise crossed her face before settling into a salacious grin.

"How do you know this boy?" she asked curiously. "What is his name?"

"His name is Drew. He's my... neighbor's son," I said slowly. This bit of information seemed especially tantalizing for her. And why wouldn't it be? In her mind, she was about to help a mature woman lay the boy next door. Any gossipy girl worth her salt would jump at the opportunity.

"You are very naughty woman, yes?" she stated gleefully. Before I could protest, she continued, "You did what I said yesterday? Think of Drew while using toy?"

"...Yes." I gulped. She absolutely couldn't know he was my son now. I felt like I was getting swept up in the conversation, like my mind was intentionally surrendering deep thought to the current.

"And how did you feel?"

"It was the most incredible thing I've ever felt..." I whispered. She nodded sagely, still wearing that grin.

"Do not fear what people say. You can accept his love."

I cleared my throat. "Right now I'd be satisfied with getting him away from this girl, Lexi. I've never heard of her before now, and suddenly the two of them have gotten so close."

"Like you and me, yes?" That took me by surprise, but it made complete sense. A connection could have been made as simple as that. Somehow it made me feel worse, since he had so quickly taken to a girl he barely knew.

"Should I try to find out more about this girl?" I asked.

She waved me off. "Does not matter who she is, only matters who you are. But..." She contemplated something for a moment. "Can ask what she does. Perhaps she does something you did not? If you do the same, or more, maybe he pick you?"

That sounded so vague, and yet I still knew the answer. Drew wanted sex. Lexi could provide it where I could not. It wasn't a matter of interest, either; Drew had obviously expressed what he wanted that night, he wasn't wholly opposed to breaking taboo.

"Maybe she is flirty? Give him kiss?" she suggested.

Oh. She was talking about on that scale. Awash with relief, I nodded. I could do that.

She picked up her phone and tapped out a message before speaking. "I am sorry, but I must go. Time to meet friends." I nodded and finished my coffee. "We can speak more tomorrow?"

"Uh, sure. I'll let you know if anything changes with Drew. You know, I might not see him today, after all."

She smirked. "I wish you luck. And maybe think about him more when you use toy later. You have tried putting toy inside?" I shook my head. "Then something new to try tonight."

We said our goodbyes and I drove home. When I walked into the house, I was immediately hit by the scent of cooking. I could also hear Stefan's voice coming from the kitchen.

"--flat of the blade, and then press down." There was a tearing sound, like the splitting of a dry husk. Garlic. "Good. Now just peel it off and we can put it in the garlic press, since I don't trust you to slice it yet."

I found Stefan and Drew in the kitchen, cooking together. It seemed a bit surreal, partly because Drew is absolutely hopeless with all forms of housework, especially cooking. But after what had happened between me and both boys on Thursday, it was sure to be an awkward interaction.

Stefan spotted me first. "Hey, Ms. Hammond." He gave me a little wave and waited for my reaction. In the meantime, Drew chanced a glance at me.

"Hi mom," he said quietly before quickly breaking eye contact.

"Hello, boys." They were both on edge, and I suppose so was I. I fidgeted with my hair while I spoke. "It's good to see you both again. What are you making there?"

"Uh, dinner. Drew wanted to try his hand at it, and since he didn't want to blow up your kitchen, he asked for my help."

I had yelled at Stefan the last time we spoke. I felt he was still helping to keep Drew distant from me, but I couldn't say anything with Drew here. Likewise, there were so many things I needed to talk about with Drew, but for that I needed Stefan gone. As it stood, we were caught in an impasse, and I was left to see where they took things.

I nodded and gave them a small smile. "That's very sweet of you. Well, good luck. I look forward to tasting the fruit of your labor."

I headed back to my room. They waited until I was out of sight before resuming. "Okay, back of the knife. Now scrape. Alright, so if you want good sauce, you can't just spoon it straight from the jar onto the pasta. That's what a saucepan is for..."

With a sigh, I dropped my purse onto my bed and began changing into sweatpants and a hoodie. It was warm enough in the house, I just wanted the warmth for comfort. Whatever talk I was about to have, it was going to be difficult, or at the very least rocky.

The front door closed just as I stepped out of my room, and I wandered into the living room. That must've been Stefan leaving. Drew was bringing plates of pasta to the dining table, and he stood there apprehensively as I approached.

"Hey mom. Dinner's ready," he mumbled. He was stiff as a board, and I walked over and just hugged him, burying my face into his neck. He gave an audible gulp before hesitantly putting his arms around me.

"Drew?"

"Yes, mom?"

"Promise me you'll never run off on me like that again."

His chest heaved as he took a big breath, before he started hugging me back in earnest. "I promise. I'm sorry, mom. It's just... with what I did..."

I released him and tilted his chin until he looked me in the eye. "Drew, I'm your mother. You know I'd never hold that against you." I cupped his cheek, stroking it with my thumb. "I knew you'd never do anything to hurt me. I wasn't scared for a second. We should just talk these things out, like adults." He frowned and clenched his jaw. Smiling, I turned to the food. "So, spaghetti and meatballs. And they're not even burnt."

He couldn't help but laugh, and we sat down to eat. "Yeah. The meatballs are made from scratch. I, uh... I wanted to do something for you after what happened--"

"Drew, you didn't have to."

"--so I got Stef to teach me how to cook. At least I'll be able to help out at home, y'know?"

"That's very sweet of you." I took a bite of a meatball. It was a bit dry, but the flavor was impeccable. "Mm, these taste wonderful!"

He beamed. "Heh, thanks. I have great friends to help me out."

I smiled, but him mentioning his friends brought up thoughts of Lexi again. I didn't say anything because I wanted to make this pleasant moment last a bit longer, but I must have given something away.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Hm? Nothing."

"C'mon, mom. You just said we should talk about things like adults."

"I feel more like a petulant child for raising this point," I laughed. He looked playfully quizzical, but nodded to urge me to speak my mind. "I heard you got a new girlfriend."

His expression turned confused. "Who'd you hear that from?"

"From Stefan. Is it true?"

Now he was bewildered. "What? Wait, what did he say to you?"

I swallowed. "He said you were staying at a girl's house. Lexi?" Realization dawned on his face, and he almost snorted with laughter. I pouted a bit, and he shook his head. "You've spent two nights there already."

"Lexi's just a friend from school," he explained, which allayed my outlandish fears that she was a predatory mature woman. "There's nothing going on between us."

"But why haven't I heard you talk about her before?"

"Pretty sure I have. At least once or twice. Maybe you just forgot?"

I frowned, giving the possibility consideration. "Still. Spending the night is pretty big," I mumbled.

He looked at me strangely, like he was trying to decipher my motives. I cursed myself, doubly so when his expression turned ever so smug. He didn't say anything, but did he know? What did he know? Even I wasn't sure what I was trying to get at. Desperate to redirect the conversation, I instead told him that in his absence I'd made a new friend while shopping.

"Oh? What's her name?"

"Sasha. She's in town from Russia, visiting friends. As weird as it might seem, she's around your age."

"Sasha," he mused, and a hint of a smile tugged at his lips. "How long is she staying for?"

"...Y'know, I didn't think to ask," I laughed sheepishly. "She'll probably be here through the holidays, if I had to guess."

He nodded. "Well it's nice you're meeting new people. Maybe you can introduce me sometime."

My stomach lurched as I thought of the plethora of reasons I couldn't do that. I couldn't have Sasha finding out that Drew was actually my son. I didn't want Drew becoming enamored with a beautiful young Russian girl. And I most certainly had to ensure that he never found out about what I discussed with her.

"Sorry, girls only," I managed, sticking my tongue out at him. He chuckled, but the way his eyes watched me made me think he hadn't exactly let it go. Luckily we steered things away, and the conversation was light and pleasant. I was elated to have my son back, safe and sound. I thanked him for dinner, and he helped load the dishwasher.

Before bed, I went to hug him again, and this time he embraced me warmly, making me hum happily into his neck. "Welcome home, baby," I murmured.

He looked down at me, and I leaned up and kissed him. Right. On. The lips. He didn't pull away, and for some reason I just kept kissing him and kissing him. No making out, no tongue, just a long moment of our eyes closed, lips pressed together.

With a gasp, I pulled away and out of his arms, putting a hand to my mouth. We stood there, frozen in place, until finally I gathered myself enough to speak. "Goodnight, baby," I managed.

"Goodnight, mom," he murmured.

I waddled back to my room and put my back against the door as soon as it was closed, exhaling heavily. *What was that*?! I groaned and sank to the floor. Sasha's advice had manifested at *exactly* the wrong time. After he almost had sex with me, the first thing I do when he comes back is have a dinner date with him and then kiss him. Talk about mixed signals. I wasn't surprised he hadn't pulled away. But what the hell was I doing?

I was thinking about sex. Not my brain, thankfully. But my body was hungering for some attention. This adult-onset sexual awakening was getting to be very irritating. I changed for bed, same as last night, and pulled out my bullet. I shook my head. The timing wasn't right. I'd just kissed my son on the lips, in a very much less than platonic fashion. He was home and could hear if I did anything. I was emotionally in a very unstable place.

Apparently my body was a very bad listener. As if possessed, I lay down in much the same position as before, putting the bullet on a low setting. I forced myself to think of somebody other than my son. I wasn't in contact with many savory men, sadly. That left Leon, my boss who had made a mutual agreement that things weren't going to work out between us. Not the best choice, but it would have to do. I didn't follow the celebrity scene and was short on options.

Following a similar routine as last time, I brought the vibrator on a tour of my folds, every once in a while returning to my clit for a short burst of more intense pleasure. Then, ever so gently, I let the tip slip inside me. With a gasp, I forced myself to think more thoughts of Leon. How he was a family man, caring so dearly for his daughter. How he was a firm yet understanding boss. How he was a complete gentleman.

As the vibrator quaked my insides, driving me to the edge, the image of Leon in my mind's eye blurred. I was panting with need. When had I become such a wanton woman? I was clenching hard on the vibrating plastic, my natural lubrication doing little to ease the intense stimulation of it moving in and out of me. I rubbed one of my breasts, fingers unerringly finding my nipple and pinching it.

As my orgasm crested the hill of pleasure, the face I pictured crystalized. Short, wild blond hair. Hazel eyes that seemed like liquid amber. And a smile that lit my whole world up like only my sunshine could. Drew was buried deep inside me, and I came all over him with a forlorn groan.

The blissful glow I was in felt like I was floating on clouds. I powered off the vibrator, and my tight orifice pushed the bullet out all on its own. Note to self: wash the damn thing off in the morning or it'll smell like my lust. And my guilt, I added, as my son continued to ravish me in my dreams.