I can't help but think the life I've been leading is probably the most boring of anyone else who's stuck in here. But a simple life as a housewife had always been my dream. To meet a nice man that loved me for me, have a family of my own, be a mother. And it was little things I dreaded, like, yet again, having to meet with Brynlee.
In here, we could make ourselves look however we wanted. There were no rules, and yet, every time I saw Brynlee I couldn't shake the feeling that she'd deteriorated a little bit more, and that she wasn't trying to hide it. Her eyes were always red, her hair wild and unkempt. Each time I looked into her eyes, they seemed a little bit more delirious, driven insane by being stuck down here, and desperate for someone else to fight as hard as she was to get out.
But that was tomorrow's problem.
Sure, I never quite cleared my mind. I knew, eventually, I'd have to tell Brynlee the truth about my feelings, and truly, I really did care for her. I wanted her to get better, and I hated seeing her in such disarray.
I was seven months pregnant. All my life that had been impossible. I had a husband who loved me, and I meant to cherish every second I got, because if Brynlee got what she want, it was only a matter of time, and my perfect little life would come crashing down, and I'd be back in the reality I couldn't help but hate.
"Hey," a calm voice said behind me. Jay took a few sly steps forward, and wrapped his arms lovingly around my belly. I turned slowly, meeting his lips above my shoulder, and stared into his eyes, as real as any I'd ever seen, more loving than any in the real world.
Even your parents,
I thought bitterly.
"How was work?" I asked.
Like I said, it's boring. But that's what I wanted. That dream, that's all I wanted in the entire world.
"Long," he sighed, "And tedious. We had a spreadsheet in the Waterman report that got all messed up, and no one could figure out what happened. I had to go back and cross reference every line with the standard. There was something like two thousand entries."
"Fun," I agreed. I spun in place and faced him. He caught my arms, and pulled his waist close to mine.
"What about you?" he asked, "Anything fun?"
"Some kicks," I shrugged, "Some cravings. I vacuumed, did some dusting, watched some T.V."
"I told you I can manage the chores," he said, as lovingly as ever.
"And I've told you I can too."
He met my smile, "You're right though. Some TV does sound nice. Whattaya say, I call us a pizza, and we just have a nice quiet night in?"
He knew me too well. I gave a small smile, and settled into the couch, flipping through the channels.
By the time the pizza man rang the doorbell, a calming rain had started to pick up, and I felt cozy, wrapped up in a sweater with Jay's name, and a thick woolen quilt. He never asked me to move, he carried a pair of plates and sat next to me. I cuddled up against him, my hand on his chest, warm with my head tucked against his ribs.
"You planning on eating?" he laughed. He took a big bite, his eyes still watching me instead of the T.V.
"There," I said, sinking my teeth into the pizza, "Happy?"
His smile widened, "I'm always happy when there's pizza around."
I lay there for a moment, mesmerized by his profile. He was staring straight ahead, slowly eating.
I reached out slowly, and started to walk my fingers up his thigh.
He took another bite, but his pants had already started to tighten. There was something so satisfying about that simple reaction, turning on a man.