"You
what
?" said Yasina. She was not pleased.
- "I want to go home, Highness. To visit my Father. It has been weeks - and his health -"
- "You want to leave me," she said, "after ... all that has passed between us." She was playing me - she wasn't even halfway sincere.
- "No, Highness." I said. "I don't want to leave you. But I worry about my Father. I have not seen him for nearly a month."
She growled. She wasn't happy. But it was hard to argue with concern for an ailing father. So Yasina avoided looking at me.
- "You know that I will return." I told her. "It would only be for a few days."
- "A day and a night." she snapped. "No more." This was her compromise; I could go, as I had requested, but she could still assert her authority while appearing magnanimous.
- "Thank you, Highness."
- "You must go hooded. Notroh will take you, and collect you the following morning."
Notroh was the young cross-eyed guard. I sympathized with him: not only did he have to deal with his ocular condition, but his parents had named him after one of the most famous of our love poets. The teasing he must have endured ...
He had taken over the duty of escorting me around the Palace. And that constantly made me worry. Where was Sartag? I had been afraid to ask, fearing the worst.
But why not? She was already angry with me. It wasn't until I began to speak that I realized Yasina could easily revoke the permission she had grudgingly granted.
- "Why not Sartag, Highness? He has been to my house before."
The Empress barely flinched. "Sartag? Why? Did you two become friends, that night on the roof? Sartag has been re-assigned. He always wanted to be a soldier, so I granted him his wish. He serves with General Pitarryat now."
I wish I could say that I believed her completely. I liked her. I lusted after her. And I enjoyed her company, even when we weren't having sex - well, on most days.
But I never forgot how ruthless she could be, in pursuit of her ambitions for herself and her son. It was also hard to lose sight of the fact that her initial plan for me included my violent death. It was only through luck that I was still alive.
The next day, Yasina's nobler instincts prevailed. She sent me a purse full of coins, and her best wishes. Nanka washed the dye from my hair. Notroh escorted me out of the Palace.
As we left by the Water Gate, we passed the group of beggars who customarily worked this location. There were the blind, the halt, the hideously disfigured. Some of these injuries were self-inflicted, of course: if you are going to have a career as a beggar, you might as well be a good one. And the competition in this field was as tough as in any other.
But I remembered one young boy that I had observed on my way into the Palace, that first day. He sat quietly, legs outstretched before him. Someone - his mother, perhaps - had dislocated or broken both of his knees and both his ankles, probably at birth. He could not walk at all, but only drag himself across the ground. It was awful to watch.
I headed straight for him, and crouched down before him, careful to hide my face. It was highly unlikely that it would make any difference, but why take chances?
- "What is your name?" I asked.
There was nothing wrong with his face, except for the lines of pain etched into it by years of misery. Still, he mustered a smile. "Serim, Lord. At your service."
- "And I at yours, Serim." I replied, placing a coin in his hand. "It is a good day."
- "it is indeed, Lord." he said.
Notroh had mixed feelings about my stop.
- "It is good to give alms." he said. "But you must be careful not to show your face."
- "I was careful. And I will continue to be." I answered.
I knocked on my own door. It was worth it just to see the look on Minika's face when she opened it. Her jaw dropped, and then a huge smile lit up her face.
- "He's home!" she cried out. Min looked like she wanted to wrap her arms around me, but she would never do that in public.
- "He's home?" said Father. It
was
a good day, for he was out of bed, standing upright. I hurried over to embrace him.
Notroh had the grace to excuse himself. "I will see you tomorrow morning." he said.
- "Tomorrow?" said my father. "You can only stay one night?" Min looked disappointed as well.
- "I'll explain everything." I said.
Once the door was closed, Father launched into a stream of questions. "Are you well? Are you safe? We were so worried - no news after that soldier brought some medication and the money - where have you been, for so long? What are you doing?"
- "All in good time, Father." I replied. I got him to sit down, and Minika rushed to make coffee.
I waited until she had finished preparing it, so that she could hear as well. The story I had concocted was this: an important Palace functionary, who had the support of the Emperor, wanted a new copy of the works of Dologe and Khizina.
- "Why you?" asked Father. I knew that my story wasn't perfect, but I hadn't expected it to be challenged so quickly.
- "He wanted a fresh outlook, from a new young scholar. New, because he no longer trusts some of the older versions they have. Young, because the work could take years." I said. It came as a surprise to me, that I could lie so quickly, and so fluently.
- "But now Zoer is dead." said Father. "Doesn't that change things? We were so frightened, that horrible night. Were you in danger?"
I had been in no danger, the Night of the Knives, I told them. I wanted to reassure Father, so that he would not worry about me. The Emperor's death had not changed the project. My employer now had the ear of the Emperor's widow, the new Emperor's mother.
- "That woman?" Father's eyebrows went up. She was the stuff of legend, and the talk of every neighborhood. "You know that she had every other contender for the throne murdered - in a single night?"
- "You probably know more about it than I do, Father." I said. That was truth. I rarely spoke to anyone at the Palace, except Yasina, Nanka, and Notroh. I no longer saw Opkor (a blessing) or Sartag (a concern). No one told me anything.
Father rubbed his hands together, and launched into his tale. Prince Igris, stabbed by one of his own associates. Alperix, slaughtered in the street by a gang of thugs. Levra, murdered by a trusted officer. General Manathalo, his supporter, killed by his own concubine while he slept. Prince Nathred - no one knew for sure. Empress Norcan, Zoer's first wife, was supposedly locked away inside the Palace, but people had seen her alive and apparently unharmed.
I hadn't heard any of this. Yasina was ruthless, and efficient - that I knew. But the sheer scope of her achievements defied belief.
- "Was there any trouble here?" I asked.