HVAD CHAPTER 6
Elo took her own life.
She had done nothing wrong, but she could not be truly freed from the shame she felt. Every time someone showed pity, or compassion, it was a reminder of what she had suffered. Borna was powerfully motivated by his desire for revenge; Elo had channeled her suffering into depression.
Borna mourned in private. In public, he hobbled about, favouring his injured foot. He gave generous gifts to everyone who had distinguished themselves in the fight, which was effectively most of our band. The women, the youngsters, the foresters, Lovro, and Dirayr all received rewards. Borna spoke to everyone individually, thanking them for their contribution.
Nanaidh was singled out, and given the sword that Khoren had carried.
Our prisoners were released, in return for a promise that they would not fight against Borna again. Their families, and the families of Vazrig's dead warriors, were allowed to leave. Borna would not hold them hostage. He let them take what they could carry - but he kept all of their horses, weapons and armour.
We now had three times as many horses as we had fighters. Dirayr, with his wounded leg, was barely able to manage our growing herd. Borna found him plenty of help.
- "I don't know anything about horses." said Siret.
- "I know." said Borna. "This way, you'll learn to ride, and make yourself useful to Dirayr at the same time."
- "Is this some trick?" asked Nanaidh. "To keep us out of the fighting?"
- "No. You've all proved yourselves. But we won't be fighting anytime soon. And you have to learn to ride. Or you won't be able to accompany us when we
do
go to fight."
Borna discussed our situation with me, Lovro, and Hravar. Dirayr and Priit were included in the conversation. We still had only a handful of warriors - even counting the women and the young men.
- "Manahir has a hundred." said Priit.
- "He doesn't." said Lovro. "We've killed forty or fifty of them."
- "He'll replace them."
- "That's true. It's a point of honour with him, to have a round hundred." agreed Dirayr.
- "Not sure I'd put Manahir and honour in the same sentence." said Hravar. "But if he does have a hundred again, half of those will be neophytes - like ours."
- "No." said Borna. "Ours have seen action. They've lived rough, and they've been tested. We have an advantage, there."
The only thing we could agree on was that we could not hold the steading if our enemies came in force. We couldn't allow ourselves to be trapped inside.
So the first thing we did was to remove six logs from the rear of the palisade, so that we could exit the steading easily, close to the forest.
The second was to persuade as many of our remaining people as we could to move into the forest, where it was much safer. We had inherited almost fifty more non-combatants. More mouths to feed - or more hands to work, if you prefer.
***
It was difficult to even look at Noyemi. Every time I saw her, I heard Borna's words in my head: 'You could marry her'.
It didn't help that she was more attractive now than she had been the first time I saw her. The months of captivity had been hard for Noyemi, mentally as well as physically. She was even more slender, yet she didn't seem quite so fragile. She was tougher, somehow.
But there would always be something about her features - the brightness of her eyes, her small nose, her slightly larger than normal upper lip - that would seem delicate. There was just something about Noyemi that stirred my protective instincts.
I finally found the courage to speak to her again.
- "You were right." I said. "Borna said 'No'."
I waited for her to say 'I told you so'. She didn't.
"But he did promise me that ... some day ... I would be able to free you. It may take some time, but ..."
- "Why would you?" she asked.
- "This wasn't my idea. I never wanted ..." Damn it - why was it so hard to talk to her? "I swear to you - at the first opportunity, I will free you."
- "And what would I do then?" she asked.
- "Eh?"
- "Where would I go? What would I do?"
- "You could go anywhere you want." I said, too quickly. I knew very well that she
had
nowhere to go. Her family were dead, her steading burned to the ground.
- "And
be
what, exactly?" she said. Her voice was calm, but there was bitterness in it. "A concubine? A whore in Hvad town?"
I was shocked. "No - Noyemi! You could marry whoever you want."
- "Ah, yes - my one option." she said. "And who will marry the freed slave? Who would dare to marry the daughter and sister of their Hospodar's enemies?"
- "Borna would never -"
- "What will he do, Ljudevit? Hang a sign about my neck that says 'Go ahead and marry this one, if you want her - I won't hold it against you.'"
Noyemi was clearly angry, and I had no idea what to answer. So I did the only thing I could think of: I fled.
***
Kanni was - as ever - more understanding.
- "My father was right, sometimes." I said. "About some things."
- "Such as?"
- "When he told me to shut up."
Kanni smiled at me, with a twinkle in her eye.
"Oh - not you. I mean, my father used to tell
me
to shut up. Quite often. He was like Gosdan, in that respect. 'When in doubt, say nothing'."
- "What if your words might have helped?" asked Kanni. "Helpful advice. Words of comfort."
- "I don't know. If anyone wants advice, they'll ask. If they don't ask, they're probably not that keen to hear it."
- "I meant Noyemi." she said.
- "I don't think that I gave her much comfort." I replied. "But the damage is done. I can't unsay what I said."
- "Maybe not." said Kanni. "But why don't you do what you do best?"
- "What's that?"
- "Think, Ljudevit. Put yourself in her place, if you can."
So I did. It wasn't as difficult as I'd thought it would be.
- "Thank you, Kanni." I said.
- "You're welcome."
I went off to find Noyemi.
- "I'm sorry, if I made you unhappy." I said. "That wasn't my intention. I meant for it to be good news - of a sort. One day, you'll be free. No - let me finish."
Noyemi had been about to interrupt, but I forestalled her.
"Imagine, for a moment: if none of this had ever happened, your father would have married you off as
he
chose. You would have had no say in the matter."
"But one day, you
will
have a choice. You can marry, or not. You can choose the man yourself. You think that no one would want you - but look at Kanni. She knows that Borna will marry, one day. And he won't force her to remain with him. On the day she chooses, she's free to do as she wishes."
"I can think of three or four men who will ask her to marry them. She's bright, and kind, and capable. Any man would be proud to have her as a wife."
Noyemi sat silently. She didn't try to interrupt me.
"You asked what other option you had, Noyemi. The only ones you mentioned were concubine, and whore. What about warrior? Nanaidh. Durra and Siret. Berit and Fimi. All chose their own path."
"You didn't deserve to be enslaved. But think for a moment: you've been freed from your father, and your brother. No one will force you to marry against your will. And you have my word - on the day that Borna allows it, I will give you your freedom."
"You might be surprised to find how many men would be willing to marry you. But that's the whole point. You won't have to. You can choose what you want. Marry, or don't. Choose your own path. Yes, it's frightening - but it can be wonderful, too."
That was all I had to say. I left her sitting there. It didn't feel like a retreat or headlong flight, this time.
***
Maigon struck back sooner than we had expected. But he didn't attack us directly. Instead, he raided small hamlets and isolated farms on the very edge of the territory that had once been Gosdan's.
We saw columns of smoke. Then, refugees began to arrive at the steading.
Manahir's grandson and his warriors were burning, looting and killing. People who lived anywhere near the targeted areas were afraid that they'd be next. Families came in every day, with tales of what had happened to their neighbours.
This created a serious problem for us. There were simply too many mouths to feed, and fewer resources to feed them with. Kawehka and Tsoline continued my education, and introduced me to plants I would never have known were edible.
Bedstraw and bracken
[1]
, chickweed and clover. Plantain, speedwell and stinging nettles. Some of these had to be cooked twice, after a change of water. Others could lead to diarrhea if eaten in large quantities. But we collected food wherever we could find it.
The only bright spot was that we gained four new warriors. Three of them were really only seeking a safe place for their families, but we weren't about to question their motives too thoroughly.
And we discussed ways of striking back.
Borna was adamant, however, about one thing. "No burning, no rape, no killing of innocents. I'll listen to any other suggestion, but not those."
- "Ambush them when they come." said Dirayr.
- "Fifty of them?" said Priit. The refugees were unanimous on that subject. The raiders always came in large numbers.
- "This is a new style of warfare." I said. "They've crossed the line. Several lines. I would be willing to bet that some of their own warriors aren't happy about that."
- "How does that help us?" asked Dirayr.
- "We go the opposite way. To something traditional. Timeless. A way of fighting that everyone respects.
We raid their horse herd
."
Hravar leaned forward, and took my head between his hands. Then he kissed me, smacking loudly, on both cheeks.
- "I love this man!" he said.
- "I don't get it." said Dirayr.
- "Think, Dirayr!" said Hravar. "It's traditional. Warriors will respect that. We won't be killing defenceless farmers. Maigon will look like a brigand, while Borna looks like a defender of traditional values."
"If we can steal some of their horses, it also hampers their ability to make these large-scale raids. And what better way to train some of the women, and the newcomers?"
