Thix was burning up. Jostled by the motion of the carriage, staring into the floor as her body and mind betrayed her. Gerard had been riding on top for the last few hours. Perhaps he was giving her space to think.
Her heart ached, but it didn't quell the fire in her belly or the images and memories that continued to arise in her mind. She tried her best to think of other things, she really did. Myths and legends from home. Her family. Where to forage for every different kind of herb, mushroom, and berry in the area around their cave. Even, in final desperation, Thix tried to dwell on the two years she had spent with her will and hope slowly being beaten out of her.
It didn't matter, none of it helped. As soon as her focus would slip, she would think back to last night in the tent.
If she closed her eyes, she could still feel the ghostly touch of his fingers running along her scalp. If she breathed in deeply enough, she could still catch the lingering hint of the perfumed fragrance he wore. Thix wrapped the red cloth around her more tightly and shook herself, as if in so doing she could shake away the vision of Gerard removing his shirt after the rain. She moistened her lips, and stopped at the barest trace of salt left from his naked sweating flesh.
Thix had allowed the heart-hunger to consume her, if that was indeed what it was, and now she was aflame from the inside out.
She had awoken that morning where she'd fallen asleep. Face resting against Gerard's inner thigh, enveloped in his heat and musk as he stirred awake. The beat of his heart throbbed against her cheek through his erect cock.
In an instant the night before had come flooding back to her, and with it that frantic aching hunger. Thix felt trapped. Frozen. Torn between the desire to flee running into the forest in mortification and horror, and the desire to mount him quickly while he was still hazy from sleep. She did neither. She lay perfectly still, while Gerard moved beneath her, his muscles going tight as he stretched and yawned. The blanket was pulled back, slowly enough not to hurt her eyes. Thix had to hold back a whine of yearning as Gerard stroked her hair with his other hand, and looked down at her. His cool gray eyes meeting hers, still bleary from sleep. For a moment they only shared the gaze in silence, until at last he spoke.
"Sleep well?"
There were so many meanings unspoken in those two words. Thix didn't know how to feel. She was furious at him, but more deeply she was still floating in that drunken haze of lust. She wanted to know what he thought he was doing to her. What he had meant by subjecting her to such torture.
"No."
A smile of amusement quirked his lips. "Do you still want?"
Punctuating the question, his manhood stiffened against her. Once more, Thix felt a part of her break.
"...yes."
"Alright. Good."
After that, Gerard had helped her back into her gown, and dressed himself. She was still horribly confused and tormented, not to mention embarrassed as he helped her outside into the sunshine. Still, Gerard was thoughtful enough to shield her eyes as he led her back to the shade of the carriage and offered her the cloak once more. Luckily, Theo had not yet been awake to witness anything. Gerard went to wake him up, and they broke camp.
Thix gritted her teeth, balling her fists around the soft fabric, and suppressed the scream that was building up in her throat. Bastard! She'd given herself to him, had quite literally begged, and he had left her in this personal hell. No. He'd actually and deliberately made it worse. She tried to seize upon the anger, let the offense and rage of it cleanse her. It didn't work. It was only mingled with the desire, so that she stewed in it and could dwell on nothing else.
The carriage slowed, and stopped. Thix rejected the urge to look out the window and see what was happening. No. She was angry. She would be angry. She would show she was angry. A short time later, the door opened. Thix didn't look at it, turning away instead.
"We are taking a rest Thix. Would you like to use your legs?"
"No."
She heard Gerard climb inside with her and the door shut. Silence. She didn't glance over to him, but stared resolutely at the opposite side from beneath her hood.
"We should talk."
Hah! They should talk. Oh yes. She really wanted to talk about it. About how he... ugh. Thix's face prickled uncomfortably with the rush of blood.
"How are you feeling?"
She didn't bother answering, but tucked her feet up onto the seat with her and drew the cloak tighter around herself like a cocoon. Hoping he would get the message. Maybe later, if her confusion and craving abated a little.
Maybe when she was a little less infuriated with him. Instead, she heard the softest rustle of clothing, and then he was sitting right next to her. Gerard's thigh pressed against hers. Fury and longing pierced through her. His voice was pitched low, just above her head.
"Thix... you haven't said your word. Do you want me to come in and get you?"
Her heart pounded in her chest. She debated for a moment. Should she give in and speak it? End this twisted game? Or stall, force him to pry her out of her shelter. She bet he was strong enough to peel the cloth out of her grasp. In the end she decided she was being childish, and released a held breath.
"I'm angry with you." "I can see. Why?"
Why?! Thix gritted her teeth.
"You! You... made me..."
"Did I?"
She shut her mouth. Well... it hadn't been what she wanted, anyway. She had wanted him and... well, she had gotten him in a sense. Thix squirmed and scrunched her face up in a pout, unable to fend off the memory of his hot shaft resting along her chin, cheek, noise, and the hollow of her eye. The gown beneath her bare bottom becoming wet with her fluids. Soiled. Disgraceful. Weak.
"Please, let me see you."
No! If he asked like that, so gently, it was too much. Thix resolved to get it over with and finally yanked down the hood of the cloak, but didn't have the nerve to look him in the face. Instead focusing on his chest, and the laces of the white shirt he wore. Gerard was without mercy however, and cupped her chin in his hand, raising her face to look up into his.
Why did he look more handsome today? It was still the same face. Same pebble gray eyes. The same long straight nose. Same damned golden human hair. Same mouth. Same infuriating and heart-rending gentle expression.
It looked as if he were trying to look inside her, see what she was thinking. If only they actually spoke the same tongue instead of their incomplete Ruvic.
"You hurt me. Make me want too much. It hurts Gerard. I... I don't know what is wrong. I can't think clear. Not fair. I begged! I begged you! I... you give me shame. This not make love right!"
Gerard frowned."I am sorry. There is a reason. When we... if we..."
He removed his hand and exhaled roughly, his eyes as sharp as spear tips upon her.
"Do you trust me Thix?"
Well... she did have to think about it now, after last night. However, the truth was that he had given her a choice, and even an out. There was still nothing stopping him from... making love wasn't the right word for it was it?
There was nothing stopping him from taking her, from pushing her onto her back and piercing her to the hilt. It wouldn't even be rape, because Thix was certain she wouldn't tell him no. Even if she was scared, and she was scared. She did trust Gerard, and that in itself was a little maddening. Thix nodded reluctantly. Gerard slowly reached out and tapped her forehead with one finger.
"You are fighting yourself, I think. Don't. Just be. Feel what you feel."
Thix scowled. "You don't know. You don't know how it feels. You can't."
That got an odd look from him.
"No, I don't. I know how it looks. I know I like it. I know it makes me want you, very much."
That did it. The fragile gates of self-possession Thix had constructed since that morning shattered open. Her breath caught in her chest, her body quivering in tightness as she fought to keep herself from climbing onto him the way she had the night before. The memory of rubbing her sex against his leg was no less humiliating, but now it inflamed her. The notion of wearing him down with her pleading and the softness of her body, even if it cost her all of her dignity to do it, blessed Vorkah it was too dangerous. She hated it. Hated what he was doing to her, and yet... Gerard's lips quirked upward in a smile, perhaps he really could see the effect he had.
"There is... beauty. To waiting, but not having. 'Anticipation'. Food is better when you are hungry. Warmth more comfortable when we are cold. Enjoy the hurt of wanting pleasure. I do."
Thix stiffened, breath catching as Gerard leaned in close. Vorkah no... He rested one palm against her shoulder and slowly ran his fingers downward along her arm, then back up again. Curse him... it really wasn't fair that his touch felt so nice. It grazed closer and closer to her chest, but not quite. Gerard let out a held breath, warm and gentle against her cheek, before murmuring Galtes sweetly in her ear. She couldn't understand a word, but swore she could feel the intention in them. A desperate whine escaped her lips at the barest brush of his soft lips against her ear, she realized she was clenching her hands into fists. She believed him then, that he knew something of what he was talking about. Finally, his voice switched back to Ruvic. Less practiced, but still wonderful.
"Do you want to hear how you hurt me Thix? All the things I want? To taste you, to know your body. Your... ah! I am become mad with words that you cannot understand, and so I want to teach with my hands... but not now."
She held him by the arms. Not at bay, nor to tug him closer. Just to retain a sense of stability.
"Soon?"
