Hey everyone, Average Joe here.
I'm back from the isolation that is the Christmas break. So let's start off the new year with one of my longer projects. This story is 56k words of fighting, fun and good old fashioned sex. If you'd like to see longer stories like this, leave a comment or flick me an email. If you like shorter chapters more regularly, I'd also appreciate a comment or an email. Either way, please enjoy and stay tuned for more stories to come. I'm neck deep in several right now and I've no idea the order they're coming.
Enjoy
*****
...Prologue...
It was a cold and stormy night... Not like I gave a shit, but that's hardly the point. The point is that for the first time in months, Urk, the Goblin King, is being a fuckwit. Yeah... I said it, a fuckwit. Turns out his favourite son is finally old enough to 'be a man'. Basically that means he gets sent on his first planned hunting trip, and I get stuck watching the gate till the wee man comes home... It could be worse I suppose... Playing gatekeeper to a horde of bloody goblins is a far cry better than being dissected on some bloody wizards table. Oh, did I mention how I got here? Well...
It would have been about four decades ago now... I'd like to say I was brought into this world kicking and screaming. Loved by my parents, and through my own devices, ended up in a respected position of trust working for the honourable King Urk. Fuckin if only...
I came into this world kicking and screaming alright... Some fucking wizard by the name of, Henry the Just, was experimenting with cross species blending. His original plan was to interbreed species with humans, but he couldn't find any volunteers to fuck various monsters. Forcing people to do it would have 'affected his title' so he settled for second best. Essence extraction and injection into a flesh golem. When I first came too, it hurt... Fucker had this idea of waking me up with electricity... Only, being stuck inside a watertight tube filled with synthetic amniotic fluid, he almost damn well cooked me while I drowned. Thankfully, I guess, he realised his mistake and broke me out before I died again. That's when the 'treatments' started.
I'm still not exactly sure what I was injected with. The flesh golem was based off and originally injected with the essence of 'man'. Hence my ability to think, rationalise and gain a moderate education. Henry after all, wanted me to understand questions he would ask. I needed a fundamental understanding of what he was doing. After a few months of lessons from everything from biology and mathematics to romance literature and science, the true testing started.
Stupidly, I allowed myself to be shackled to a bench... With magically reinforced shackles... From there, I was given various injections and asked how I felt. I later found out that most of what was put in me was the life essence of other creatures. Each day was agony, as my body twisted internally and externally as changes were forced upon me. My bones hardening, muscles strengthening, senses heightening. My skin toughened, much to Henry's displeasure, when he had to buy stronger syringes... My displeasure when the 'new' ones were forced into me with even more effort and pain... Pretty sure I have a few extra organs now too. Poison doesn't seem to bother me and I've never gotten sick. Most injuries clear up within hours if not minutes. But then... Henry fucked up... He was so proud of the next batch of testing.
Did I mention he fucked up?
Troll... Fucking troll... I have no idea how he got his hands on troll essence. But apparently this was his 'holy grail' moment for me. It was also the first time I truly begged him to stop... Up until that moment, I still looked and acted human. If I was ever released, I could blend in, make a life... Live... I'd seen pictures of trolls in the books I'd read before the injections. Huge monstrosities of flesh like stone. Twelve feet tall at the short end, twenty at the tall. Immune to magic, dumb as a rock and angry as a shaved cat. Yeah... Henry fucked up...
The first effects were immediate. Suddenly the magic from the shackles disappeared. For the first time in months, I was able to stretch and move my limbs slightly. If Henry had been any smarter, he'd have killed me right then and there... But... Y'know... Henry fucked up... Apparently my utter lack of visible changes, spurned him. So he took off for the night and left me tied to the table for the night. That's when the real changes began... While I thought I'd experienced pain before... Troll essence... I wouldn't wish it on anyone. My bones grew so quickly, my muscles and ligaments tore free. I passed out shortly after I felt the muscles in my spine pulling away.
When I came too, I was laying on the floor. My proportions had grown so large, so rapidly, the shackles had simply broken and released my form to collapse on the floor. Once on the floor, my body was able to complete it's changes, and rapidly heal back into a solid whole. Considering the amount of blood that was on the floor, I'm just glad I was unconscious when my skin tore open... Was a hell of a shock for Henry when he came back a few hours after sunrise.
By that time, I'd made myself comfortable, sitting on the bench like a good boy... Good boy with a severe hatred for wizards named Henry. See, I got the good with the bad. The good, I still look relatively human, shaggy black hair, dark brown eyes and all my teeth. The bad, I'm close to eight feet tall and built like a mountain. The interesting, is all the other shit going on inside.
I can still see his face... The rattle of the keys in the door, followed by that all familiar squeak. He didn't even bother looking around until he'd already closed the door behind him. The emotions that flashed across his face were priceless. Surprise... Delight... Apprehension and finally fear. There wasn't much after fear. By the time I'd stood up, he was already charging up one of his spells. I'd seen his magic before, little things, lighting the fireplace, illuminating the room. I wasn't really expecting the fireball that burst across my chest... I'm sure I've said it a few times now... Henry... Fucked... UP.
See, the thing with trolls, is they're completely immune to magic. Spells just wash off. Fire just feels like the wind, lightning a soft touch. Hell... I had a straight up death curse pumped into me by a 'familiar' demoness and it went straight through and killed the guy behind me. The second thing with trolls... Is that we have a wicked temper...
As previously stated... There I am, standing my ground, facing Henry. The largest fireball I've ever seen washing over my chest. And I'm completely fine. I sat there so long staring at my own chest, Henry had enough time to run... Well... I'll specify here... He had enough time to 'run'. What he actually did was pick up a broom, infuse it with lightning, and send it flying into my chest. Queue, a solid thump from the blunt broom pole and the lightning diffusing into the floor when it landed. That's when I learned the true nature of the trolls... Anger...
In three strides, I came within arms reach of Henry. In four he was laying on his back with his rib cage caved in by my troll size foot trapped inside it. That was another weird lesson for me... Trolls will eat anything. This man... Fucking wizard, whatever... Had brought me into this world for what? Experimentation? Torture? The betterment of mankind? No... His willingness to outright kill me on sight was all I needed to know... I was made a monster... So I acted like one...
I'm not proud of eating him. I don't really regret it, but I swore I wouldn't eat another person unless I was starving. In 40 years, I've never had to eat another person. Either way, it was the first decent meal I'd had in months, and I wanted out... Now, I read stories about battles with trolls, and I always thought their strength was exaggerated. But after gently unlocking the door, I was surprised when my efforts to pull it open, left me carrying what today is my tower shield. Bloody thing came off the wall with a crunch with barely a pull. From there, It was a simple enough situation, get out, get away, get gone...
Though... A hell of a lot of guards and other magic users disagreed with my methods. Turns out I was being kept in the basement of some sort of guild hall. The first man I saw screamed... My attempts to physically silence him gave him a surprise diagnosis of a crushed skull... Totally my bad... But that's all it took for dozens of guards and magic users to try and stop me. Weirdly enough, the thought of dozens of spell weaving demigods coming to magically rip me limb from limb, meh... Sharp metal swords held by mere mortals... Fuckers hurt.
That was the moment I decided to keep my door-shield. Rushing out of the hallway, I entered a large room, which incidentally enough, was being filled with people who wanted to kill me. Instinct drove me from that point. Instinct is also pretty simple. I'm big + you're little = squish. I didn't even realise I'd ploughed through the guards until I stepped on one and felt something squish up between my toes. Then the magic started. A few spells hit the shield at first, but I've since learned it was magically reinforced as well. When the magic users realised that, they waited for me to get a little closer and hit me directly. For that matter, that's when the familiar demoness hit me with that death curse. I didn't get a good look at her, pinkish-red skin, small horns, green hair.. But she didn't look happy about her situation, so I didn't kill her on my way past... Hope she's doing ok.
Either way, it wasn't long before I'd turned a window into a hole big enough to fit my shield. I'd like to say it was smooth sailing from here... But y'know... Troll logic and anger, mixed in with a healthy supply of guild hall being located in the centre of town... It was only a few hours later when I finally stopped to rest in a forest, that I realised I still had a bloody sword stuck in me. Weirdly enough, it's the only wound that scarred. I think that's because my body tried to heal around it before I removed it, all the other wounds healed without something in the way.
Either way, once in the forest, I calmed down, probably from one of my many 'gifts'... But it didn't take me long to get moving again. It took me three days before I was comfortable enough to stop for a sleep. Turns out trolls don't sleep much either. Couple hours a night, or a full night every few days. More if I've been injured.
It took me a little over two weeks to leave the human inhabitants of this land behind me. It was another week before I discovered I was in the 'badlands'... Minotaur didn't know what hit him... But his friend was happy enough to give me some basics about life in general out here... Y'know... In return for me not eating him. A few days later I bumped into the Goblin King on one of his hunts. After I'd killed three quarters of his best men, Urk himself came at me. Almost shit himself when I told him to fuck off... Apparently trolls are dumb brutes and can't speak.
That however is how I ended up here. For a fuckwit Goblin King, the bastard is the genius of his species. And for the last forty years, I've been left mostly alone as the gatekeeper for the tombs of the Goblin horde. It's not a glamorous job, but I'm at least respected. Mostly I deal with the occasional bear. A few times I've turned back scouting parties from other Goblin clans. I just enjoy being left alone for the most part.
And that's pretty much everything that leads me back to today. Standing in the alcove of my home, that overlooks the entrance. Think about a bay, surrounded by mountains. That's pretty much the entrance, except it's dug out of stone, and there's no water. The entrance to the 'cove' is a gap in the thick stones, just wide enough for a carriage. There's no trees inside, so I've got a clear view. The only things growing is grass and my vegetable patch on the far side where the sun hits mid morning. My home looks like a small cave, off to one side, with the entrance to the Goblin Tomb on the other. I don't really know what it's like down there, I've never been. But my home? Might look like a cave from outside, but inside it's my little mansion.
I've got a bedroom with a large bed stuffed with furs and blankets stuffed with down. I've my workshop where I tinker and build. I'm no blacksmith or craftsman, but I've got a stocked kitchen full of utensils and running water from a catchment I dug into the roof. I'm even slowly making myself a suit of basic plate armour. It's not real pretty, but that's kinda the point when you're eight feet tall, built and waving around a club that looks like a small tree with a boulder on the end. But my absolute pride and joy... My library... I consider it my 'pay' from Urk. When his goblins go out, they bring back any books they find. Since they're all illiterate, I get first pick, and the rest they use as kindling. I spend so much time there I built a small day bed in case I fall asleep. It's a secret I'll take to my grave... Nobody would believe me anyway... Educated troll? Ha... Fuckin... Ha...
...Chapter one...
So anyway. Here I am, in the rain, cursing that fuckwit Urk... It's not the rain that bothers me, I'm not bothered by the cold, It's the fact that while important parties are outside the tomb, I have to stand guard to ensure they return safe, without leading others back with them. Prince Burk however left at sunrise and hasn't come back yet... The sun has already dipped to the horizon and it's getting dark. I'm damn hungry and I can't leave my post until the party comes back...
