A Touch Away

Nerves. God, there was so much of it! When I woke up on Monday morning, that was all I felt. A part of me - very minuscule - tried to warn me that this game was another attempt at humiliating me. But I didn't listen, it wasn't even difficult anymore.

That being said, my task wasn't easy at all. My mind was running, trying to find the best phrasing, imagining all ways she could say yes. Maybe she'd be enthusiastic, would hug me and take me to somewhere private to celebrate. Or perhaps I would receive a formal acknowledgement and acceptance. Occasionally, there were a few where she'd say no, but it was easier to ignore them.

As per Claire's request, I had thought about it all through the weekend. And it was still true that I didn't have any feelings for her. Or at least it wasn't what I'd call love. I guess it was a strange mix of curiosity and affection that led me to decide to ask her out.

When I arrived at school, all of my friends glanced at me with an expectant look.

"My man!" Cole said, slapping my back.

"Well," I said, "It hasn't happened yet."

Alex grinned as well, then said, "Don't be a downer, Kyle. Just do it, represent us."

Haru only nodded and said, "Don't overthink it. You already know what's happening."

He was right. I don't think there's ever been anyone else so nervous at the prospect of asking a girl out when the answer was already known. In Claire's words, this was another game. One last game. That made me sigh. I really hoped it was.

As the bell rang, I spotted the table where Claire was sitting. Sammie was sitting across from her, on one side sat Sarah and on the other was a guy. Sarah saw me and immediately looked away, but then she turned back and observed me. This was the new normal - turning away reflexively before watching me. What was going on? I didn't know, but now I wanted to find out. What was it that made her avoid me? Why did Amanda hate me?

The guy on the other side was a jock, probably a Brad or something. He casually touched her shoulder a few times but Claire never responded. Now that I knew what I was looking for, I could easily spot her leaning away ever-so-slightly. She wasn't going to outright say it to him. Perhaps it was just her being nice, having issues with boundaries, or just caring too much about what other people thought. It wasn't the time for that.

"Dude!" Melinda shouted, "What the fuck are you waiting for?"

"Methinks he's overthinking it."

Yeah, I admit it, I was distracting myself, buying time to calm down, while I was working up the courage to go up to her.

Haru spoke in a voice without any affectation. "Breath in, count to 3 and then just do it."

My usual response to Haru would have been a 'fuck you,' but this sounded like good advice. So that's what I did, and in a moment I was walking towards the table. Sarah was the first to notice, looking intrigued, followed by a few others. No, Claire definitely noticed first, but she was playing oblivious.

Sammie frowned, looking at me like I was a walking bag of trash. "Umm, what exactly do you think you're doing?"

Her face brought a flash of anger from me. This is the kind of bitch I hated. But it was immediately replaced by guilt. I had projected her image on everyone around her.

Focus, Kyle! Time enough for that.

Clearing my throat, I said, "Claire, got a minute?"

She looked at me and smiled. It was a welcoming sight that reminded me of what the answer was. I was in hostile territory, but I had the ally that mattered.

"No she does not!" spoke Sammie. "You can get your lame ass away from our table now. No, I insist!"

The table burst into humiliating laughter, the only thing preventing me from running was Claire. She wasn't laughing. In fact, she looked annoyed. Her jaws set and she inhaled deeply, slowly.

"Alright, everyone, stop it. I do want to talk to Kyle."

That did it, bringing silence and order back to the table. I admired how effortlessly she did that.

Not the time!

"Claire..." I paused. "You're smart and pretty awesome. You're also one of the most beautiful girls in school." I swallowed, which didn't help the dryness of my throat. "Would you... I mean... can I..."

Before I could continue, Sammie shouted, "Oh my God! Can you imagine the audacity of this loser? He is thinking of asking Claire out!"

At Sammie's lead, another ruckus rose. I didn't feel the earlier humiliation though, just pissed and annoyed at how fucking annoying Sammie was. And the others too, for following her.

Clearing my throat again, I said, "Claire, will you go out with me?"

She stood up and said, her voice loud and clear for everyone to hear, "You're cute, Kyle. And I like how you look after your friends. It's very admirable. Of course I'll go out with you!"

The announcement was met with dead silence, permeated by shocked gasps and heavy breaths. Brad looked like his eyes were about to pop out. Sammie looked like she was scandalized by the most obscene display - to her, this mingling of class might as well have been that. Sarah had a surprised but amused look on her face.

"Him?" Brad stood up, his face a mask of shock and rage. "I've known you for years, Claire. I've been trying to go out with you for so long! You rejected me, but picked him?"

I tensed in anticipation of what he might do. Angry people were never good, they always did things they regretted. Case in point, the entirety of my last four years.

"I'm sorry Brad, you're a good friend to me, and I appreciate you. But, I just don't feel that way."

What do you know? His name is Brad!

Brad's body language didn't look too threatening though. He wasn't going to hit Claire, or me. He sighed, saying, "Whatever!" before leaving the table.

While I no longer thought that everyone at the table was a bitch, there still was no reason for me to linger. I just didn't know anyone except Claire, and Sammie's presence was enough for me to want to retreat. But the idea of leaving Claire to fend off the vultures gave me pause.

She nodded at me, sensing my hesitation. "I'll text you later," she said with a smile.

I knew I was being dismissed, but it didn't bother me. "I look forward to it."

The table was silent as I left. A cacophony of noise quickly replaced that. I was not out of earshot, but there was no way I could make any heads or tails out of anything I heard.

***

Our table looked a little different today. Cole, Alex and Haru were the usuals. Jane and Melinda's presence wasn't strange but it was infrequent enough to surprise me. But even Cass was there.

Before I could get there, Jane ran up to me and gave a tight hug!

"You did it! You fucking did it! I'm so happy!"

That was a strange event, but I wasn't thrown off too far. I wasn't even uncomfortable, so I patted her arm.

"Sorry about that, I got way too excited. You okay?" she asked sympathetically.

"Yeah, I'm good actually. Thanks."

Before I could sit down, Cole shouted, "My man!" I was the star of the show, at least on this side of the river, and he was planning to have all eyes on me. Not that he needed to make any effort.

I couldn't help the grin forming on my face. Who could blame me? I had suffered the disdain of the popular kids and overcome the insurmountable obstacle of my nerves. And I came back victorious - no longer single.

"Nicely done," Haru said.

"I don't know, I think I could have phrased it better. It was neither eloquent nor... well, romantic."

"Dude, let it rest," he said. "It's done, time to move on. You're dating now, you'll have plenty of chances to be romantic."

Cass grinned at me and said, "Oh my God, Kyle! That was so cool! I mean, you probably said something boring, but the way you kept going even when they were laughing at you. I hate to agree with my dumbass brother, but you're a real man."

Cole usually keeps the crude remarks out of the way when his sister is around, but this time he gave me a lecherous grin and said, "Well, he will be soon enough!"

Cass made a face and shouted, "Eww, Cole! You're so disgusting! I don't need to know or think about any of that! Eww!"

Jane swept in diplomatically, "Okay, change of topic. Kyle was really cool though. I don't think I would've been that strong if everyone was making fun of me."

That's when I noticed the difference in Jane. Even when she said it with a smile, there was a dark look that she was hiding. Hiding? I've always assumed people were hiding things, incorrectly at times. Was I wrong?

Cole chimed in, "Yeah, it's all Sammie's fault. She's literally the worst."

Melinda sighed and said, "Yeah, she's a bit of a handful."

Jane murmured something that sounded a lot like, "She really is."

Cass didn't stay too long, leaving the six of us to chat. The entire time, Jane looked bothered, conflicted. Everyone had noticed.

"Jane, is something bothering you?" Haru asked. Then he added, "Something you want to talk about?"

She sighed, "Well, yes. It's something that's been on my mind for a long time."

I touched her arm encouragingly. I was trying to be comforting, but given my expertise - or lack thereof - I was just hoping she didn't find it creepy.

"You can tell us. We'll help however we can."

She smiled at me, then looked away. Specifically, she looked at the cheerleader table. The noise had died down there, but all attention was still on Claire. Sammie looked especially unhappy.

Suddenly, Jane stood up and said, "I know what to do."

"You do?" I asked, my voice full of the surprise that everyone shared.

"Yeah, I'll be back."

There was something about her in that moment. She looked... free. Which was strange, because never before had I thought she wasn't. But she was. She walked with a straight back and even pace. Confidently she strode to the table and stood right in front of Sammie.

"Listen up," she was addressing the blonde cheerleader.

"Umm, what?" She looked surprised.

I already knew that Jane didn't like Sammie, the former was too much of a good person. But they had an unspoken agreement, it seemed, where neither antagonized the other and they stayed out of each other's ways, even when their circles overlapped so often.

Was I about to see a departure from the status quo?

"Sammie," Jane's voice had never been this hostile before. "You are a bitch. You're one of the worst people I know, and that's something, because I know some terrible people."

Sammie was shocked at first, followed by mortification. I don't remember ever seeing anyone talk like that to her. Well, anyone with popularity. This wasn't a departure, the status quo was being terminated.

She recovered quickly. "You have some nerve talking to me like that. You realize that I can ruin your high school life with a snap of my fingers?"

"Shut up, Sammie," Jane retorted. Now that she had started, there was no force that could stop her. "Everything you have is superficial and artificial. Hell, if your dad wasn't rich, you'd have barely a quarter of your people talking to you. No one likes you, all your relationships are based on power games. And you fucking know it."

Before Sammie could reply, Jane turned and was headed back to our table. "Enjoy high school while you can, Samantha."

Suddenly, 'Kyle asking Claire out' was no longer the big news of the day. This was. And rightly so. The cafeteria was completely silent, the sound of her footsteps seemed amplified. That, and the sound of someone fucking chewing loudly who clearly didn't get the hint. But, power to them, I suppose.

When she returned to our table, we stared at her with admiration. Alex spoke first, another surprise for the day.

"That was incredibly satisfying to watch."

"Understatement much?" I said, "That was fucking awesome."

A round of muffled snickers later, Melinda added, "Didn't know you had it in you."

"What?" She replied. "Someone had to."

Haru asked, "Can I ask what brought that about?"

"Something in me just snapped, I guess. I've always hated her, but I tried keeping it all in. For civility. But seeing the way she was talking to Kyle pissed me off, and then I remembered the way she treated all of you. Add to that, there's barely two weeks of school left, and what do I have to lose?"

"Nicely done," he commented. "But I think we all should be careful. We've essentially stirred the hornet's nest."

That, as expected, soured everyone's mood. Regardless of whether it would happen, we were feeling a little anxious.

To alleviate the mood, I said, "Leave it to Haru to ruin everything."

It wasn't the ending, not even close to it. But just like the beginning, I was walking around a corner in the hallway when I ran into Claire. She was accompanied by a few others, with Sammie nowhere in sight. We both chuckled.

"Feels like we've been here before," she said.

"Umm, I guess this is full circle."

"More or less. You'd have to consider a few other things to make that work, though."

This was awkward. I'd never spoken to her in school or around anyone else. We only had two conversations that weren't sexual.

"I really don't know what to say."

She laughed, the musical tone of it setting my heart fluttering.

"Don't worry," she touched my arm reassuringly. "We'll figure it out. I have to get to class now."

As I walked away, I heard muffled giggles and whispered words behind my back. And this time, they were definitely talking about me, but I wasn't about to bring it up with Haru. He'd somehow twist it into his win.

I'm pretty sure I heard someone comment "She's going out with him?" While my first reaction was anger and embarrassment, it didn't get to me like it used to.

Yeah, that's right! I'm dating Claire! Suck on that!

The rest of the day passed in a bit of haze. I was on cloud nine and there was no bringing me down. Classes just happened and people - friends and strangers - drifted around me, but my mind was on a high unlike anything else.

As soon as classes ended, I was on my way out with my friends. Everyone seemed amused as I walked with a spring on my step.

Haru mentioned, "I don't think I've ever seen you not gloomy."

Cole replied, "I keep telling you guys, the effects a woman can have on a man is unparalleled!"

"Alright, no need to make it crude," Haru responded.

"Please, you act all high and mighty, but I know deep down you're just a pervert!" Cole jovially retorted.

The moment we were out into the parkade, I stopped in my tracks. In the distance, right in front of the bike rack, were a bunch of guys that anyone would have recognized. Brad stood front and center, surrounded by his jock lackeys, all of them glaring at my general direction.

"Uh-oh," said Alex.

I don't suppose they're here to congratulate me.

Even that didn't put a damper on my mood. I was under no illusion that I would be able to take on all seven of them, and even though Cole and Haru would have my back, I didn't want to involve them in a brawl.

"Okay, no biggie," I muttered, "We can defuse this, right guys?"

I looked at Haru and saw the little frown on his face. If he was apprehensive, then I probably should be a little more careful.

"Hey guys, what's happening here?" I asked as I got close to the group.

Brad shot me a condescending look and said, "Kyle, we need to settle this man to man."

Despite knowing what it was about, I asked, "And what do we have to settle?"

"Look, you're a nerd and a loser. I don't know if Claire sees something in you or if it's a pity thing, but even you can see how bad you two will be together."

I wasn't nearly as smart to be called a nerd, but whatever, I chose to take it as a compliment. If I hadn't had that heart to heart with Claire, I might have bought his words. Then again, we wouldn't even be here.

"Okay?" I prompted.

"She's the hottest girl in school, it only makes sense that she should be with a real man."

A handful of students had flocked to us, watching the drama unfold. The gathering was quickly growing into a crowd, and it was only a matter of time before even more people would be here.

"Brad, I agree with that part. Claire really is the hottest girl in school. She's also incredibly intelligent and an overall nice person. So if you think you with your steroid filled muscles and peanut-sized brain is a good match for her, I overestimated your intelligence. Do everyone a favor and check yourself in a mental ward or something."

So much for de-escalation. In my peripheral vision, I caught Haru casting me a quick, alarmed glance before turning to face the soon-to-be aggressors. The moment the words had escaped my mouth, the people surrounding us had begun shouting. Whether it was encouraging Brad to teach me a lesson or in solidarity with my statement was lost in the cacophony.

Haru stepped forward and began, "Brad, I know you're pissed. But getting into a fight right now won't solve anything."

Brad was approaching us, walking slowly. He was someone used to seeing others cower in fear. But Haru went on, "This crowd is already drawing attention and it's only a matter of time before the teachers come here."

He pushed Haru. Haru was a strong guy, but Brad was bigger and weighed more. In terms of simple physics, that was an impactful shove. Thankfully, Haru saw it coming, sidestepping and angling his body. His arms were up now, palms open as if trying to placate him.

"Think carefully, Brad. You don't want to fuck things up for you over something like this."

He looked at Haru, pausing momentarily. Whether it was in acknowledgement of what he said or in defiance, we didn't get a chance to figure it out. The crowd was parting as someone else shoved their way in.

"Break it up!" We heard a deep voice.

I turned back to see another familiar face. He was another jock, a quarterback if I remembered right. I couldn't remember his name though.

"Brad, what the fuck are you doing? Are you out of your fucking mind?" he bellowed.

"This is between me and Kyle."

"Since you chose to do it right in front of school, it's definitely not just between you two." This voice belonged to someone else. Everyone turned back and winced at the same time. Well, everyone involved. I imagined the spectators were either full of excessive pity or amusement. Drama is always better when it's happening to someone else.

"To my office right now, all of you!"

***

Thank the heavens for Haru! When the Principal asked for an explanation, he volunteered and explained everything, clear and concise. He also phrased things mildly, defining the incident as an altercation and nothing more.

"It looked like you were about to fight," the Principal pointed out.

Gone was the cocky bastard. Polite and civil, Haru replied, "It's true that emotions were running high on both sides, and we were all agitated. But before anything came to that, we managed to verbally de-escalate."

The Principal looked at Brad and asked, "And what do you have to say to that?"

I still stand by what I said about the size of his brain, but even he had a sense of self-preservation.

"It's true. We were just talking... arguing. None of us were out to hurt anyone."

Good liar too

, I thought.

The Principal didn't buy Haru's bullshit, and neither was he about to accept Brad's. But he seemed to decide that this was too much work.

"Alright. But I will be keeping a close eye on all of you. And if course we'll be calling all of your parents to inform them of this event. There's less than two week of school left, keep that in mind and be on your best behavior. You can all go now."

As everyone thanked the Principal and were about to leave, I lingered. Considering how late I was, it wouldn't hurt to get a note from the Principal's Office to show to my boss. On hearing my request, he gave me an exasperated sigh, but I got what I wanted and some more. He even promised to call my boss and explain things.