"We should turn back, your royal highness. The creatures that dwell in the Longtooth Caves are savages! I cannot in good faith permit you to seek them out!" The prince's escort chirped in his ear from his horse as the two approached the cave on the north side of the land. There had been numerous reports of stolen cattle. All from small green creatures that hunt in the night, sometimes in packs. Goblins.
Goblins were nothing new to the royal family of the region. Their dynasty has been treating them as pests for years. It seemed that no matter how thorough they were with their cleansing, they would always repopulate in greater numbers in some other part of the land.
"You know as well as I that these creatures will not cease unless we try new measures. My father has tasked me with dealing with them, and I believe my right to the throne wagers on it. If I am to secure my future, I must talk to them. Violence has only proven to be a temporary solution!" The prince rebutted. The escort, however, would not hear of it and continued to pester the prince about the dangers ahead.
"If you do not wish to assist me in these negotiations, then you will do well to leave me be and return to the castle at once!" The prince sharply commanded. His escort looked taken aback.
"But your highness, I-" The escort attempted to blurt something out before being cut off once more.
"I said leave! At once!" The prince ordered. The escort had no other choice but to reign in his horse, turn around, and begin the shameful walk alone back to the kingdom. He would have to explain to the royal guard that he left the prince alone in the woods near nightfall. The prince, however, was unphased. He had plenty of training with a sword, a bow, and numerous other weapons. But he was not on a mission of conquest, but one of diplomacy. He was going to attempt something that had never been attempted in their family's thousand-year history.
The prince trotted his horse to the entrance to the cave, and immediately the signs of goblin activity became apparent. Footprints, spears, and arrows sticking out from the ground, a cauldron tipped over and rusting away. He may have found their entrance, but the goblins had spotted him a mile away.
Numerous goblins jumped out of the surrounding trees and bushes. All brandishing crude spears and clubs. Some were wearing war paint and whatever scraps of metal they could piece together to make armour. The prince's steed neighed violently and threw him off its back before sprinting full tilt into the bramble. The prince groggily stood up, regaining his composure, realising the goblins had formed a tight perimeter around him and were slowly moving in. The prince had to act fast.
"I'm with the royal family of this land! I am here on a mission of diplomacy! I only wish to speak on peaceful terms with your king!" The prince's voice was shaken but resolute. He stood as tall as he could and stared down his adversaries. The looming night had made vision difficult, but he could make out the shapes and silhouettes of the various creatures.
"Hold!" A loud voice sung out from the cave. Its accent was definitely goblin, but it was one dripping with command. The goblins surrounding the prince stopped moving forwards, but did not step back, making sure to keep the prince in place.
The prince's eyes were locked on the entrance to the cave. He could see torches flickering around corners and goblin shadows being projected along all the walls. The prince heard footsteps that were gradually getting louder as well. Two goblins stepped out to the mouth of the cave. One appeared to be an escort holding a torch, and the other had a buxom figure, wearing robes that were quite dirty and tattered, as well as a small crown.
"Human want to talk? Then talk as equals! No weapons! No lies!" Shouted the leader goblin. The prince was able to piece together that she must have been her leader, and that crown was likely an indication that she was some sort of queen to them.
"I agree! I have no weapons! Let us talk as equals!" The prince tried to reassure the queen, but his reassurances fell on deaf ears.
"You may lie! Humans lie to us all the time! You must prove yourself!" The queen commanded.
"Okay, I understand why you may be hesitant. What can I do so you will trust me? I just want to talk about a peaceful resolution." The prince felt strangely calm. The fact that they were willing to talk was proving his theory that these lesser species were actually capable of reason.
"...Human will take off all clothes and wear only this!" The queen's escort threw a rag at the feet of the human. It was a loincloth of sorts, hardly big enough to cover himself with, let alone modesty. The prince's eyes moved to the rag and then back to the queen. He faced an inner conflict. If he was caught wearing that, he would be not only a laughing stock but disowned by his father. But he knew that if this paid off, the throne would be as sure as his. He decided to swallow his pride.
"Very well. I, on good faith, will remove my clothing and wear this... unique garment, on the condition that we may speak of a peaceful resolution. Do we have an agreement?" The queen nodded solemnly and turned her back on the prince. Marching back into the cave, turning a corner, and disappearing out of sight with her escort.
The prince lifted the piece of cloth and turned to the goblins around him. Their eyes were stuck on him, and rightfully so; they had no idea if they could trust him.
"Human! Strip!" Said one of the goblins in a shrill, high-pitched voice. It seems all of the goblins the prince had met so far were female. He thought it was a coincidence and sighed, realising what he had to do. He wasted no time undoing his shirt and removing the belt from his waistbands. He got down to his undergarment and realised he would have to expose himself to the guards in order to change into the garment. He took a deep breath, threw off his underwear, and using one hand, tried to cover his manhood as best he could as he tied the garment around his groin. It wasn't enough, of course, as he needed both hands to tie the knot. Whatever was in store for him, he at least hoped no one would find out about his temporary attire.
***
The prince was led down a series of tunnels, deep into the heart of the cave. He felt more like a prisoner than a diplomat, with an armed escort marching him inside. The deeper he went, the more he feared he had possibly made a grave mistake. His ancestors had spent generations butchering these creatures. Of course there would be some contempt held against him, he thought.
He marched on, down a rickety set of crude stairs and platforms, until finally he came across a large opening deep within the earth. In this opening, he saw the queen surrounded by her people. Some of the goblins stared, fascinated, at the man. Others hid behind boxes and rocks, reminded of the stories that had been instilled in them since birth about the dangers of man.
