The ends of her hair tickling her chin, Mac stood outside the cabin, her eyes trained on the white scenery but not seeing it. The snow fall stopped some time during the night and the sun was attempting to make an appearance, its light bouncing like crystals off the snow. A calm breeze blew through, barely moving the snow-laden trees.
After a tense breakfast, she retreated here to gather her thoughts and sort through the confusing array of feelings that churned in her heart.
I love you.
His three words still echoed in her head. One part of her heart rejoiced, telling her to grab onto that something so infinitely precious with both hands. The other part told her run in the other direction and never look back. The panicky emotion surprised her. Only that morning the thought that this might be more than a series of one-nightstands made her happy. So why was the voicing of the sentiment so scary to her?
Did she return his feelings? Was it love that made her heart swell with longing and tighten with apprehension of the mysterious, uncharted territory? It was daunting the way she needed him. Hardly a simple matter of want, she was being overwhelmed by desire for him. Desire to be close to him and inhale his heady scent. Desire to hear him speak, to listen to the deep tones of his voice, to see him laugh. Desire to have his body locked within hers as they moved so sweetly together.
Had he cast some sort of spell over her?
She shook her head. That made no sense. Why would he, a fine specimen of male deliciousness by anyone's standards, come to the middle of nowhere to hypnotize a plain Jane like herself when he could probably get any woman he wanted without the use of magic?
There were so many differences between them that spelt doom for their budding relationship. He was immortal. She was not. He had a dangerous job in keeping an entire species safe. She was not sure she could handle knowing he went into dangerous situations. He was not only the great mythical bird but had a dark force invading him that could mean the end of the world as humans knew it.
The list was long but the similarities between them railroaded the depressing log. They both had demons to deal with. There was a loneliness they both harbored and understood. They were dynamite together, the lust exploding whenever they were within each other's reach. Even now, it was all she could do not to rush back into his arms and drown in the passion that was sure to ignite.
Ironically the possibility of him losing control of whatever ailed him was less intimidating than her being in love him and vice versa.
Why?
The question barely trailed off before memories she tried to forget gripped her mind. The disapproving stares of her parents mixed in with Grayson standing over her, the latest beating leaving her comatose and aching all over. But as much as she hurt, it was the way her body reacted to his repulsive touch that hurt the most, his words adding insult to injury. Your whore's body is only of use to sinful men who've lost their way. No man can love a slut like you.
His words had weaved themselves into her thought patterns, dominating her actions, diminished her perception of herself and what she was worth. She never realized just how her parents' aloof treatment traumatized her or how thoroughly a dead man controlled her. But another man's face and words rose to overpower the toxic recollections.
I love you.
Aiden's words echoed once more like a ghost's whisper. He'd seen her at her worst, seen her cry, bared the brunt of her temper without provocation yet he made her laugh when she thought she never would again, made her embrace the sexuality a crazed man used against her and because of him she wanted to face the future as more than just a broken woman hiding atop a mountain. Because of him she wanted to be more, to be better. Because of him she already was.
Doubt still crowded in though. She was afraid of losing control of her emotions. Her past showed how ill-equipped she was at handling them. What if she loved only to lose him? Could she deal with another crippling emotional journey?
But avoiding love did not make it go away. Neither did it make the feeling any less intense. She was determined to break the mold of fearful recluse and if this was step one on the path of freeing herself, she would face it head on, glory in the happy, passion filled times and deal with whatever emotional hurdles were thrown her way.
She did not know when they welled up but a tear rolled down her cheek and froze before it hit the ground. A next followed close behind. Then another. She had cried many, many times over the last few years but this time was different. It was freeing. With every tear that fell, a little more of her hurt vanished. With every tear she took back a little more of herself.
With sudden clarity she realized that her retreat to the isolated cabin was a punishment of sorts. Until that moment, she did not realized how much she blamed herself for the events that led to her capture and subsequent torture. Her molester's face crept up like it always did but this time she did not cower. This time she faced it, challenged it, dared it. This time she defeated it. She faced the years of pain and accepted what had been and with a strength she did not know she possessed, she determined what would be.
There would be no more hiding.
The sounds of the mountain soothed her as warmth hit her cheek. She looked up to see the sun break through a particularly heavy cloud, its warm rays caressing her. The young woman she had been smiled as her essence dissolved and a new stronger Mackenzie rose from the ashes.
****
Aiden paced the cabin. Though they were separated, he could feel Mac's emotional turmoil. Thinking that he was the cause was killing him and the effort of respecting her wish for privacy made sweat break out over his skin.
He told her he loved.
The moment the words left his mouth, the stiffening of her body and the shuttered look in in her eyes told him he spoke too early but he could not muster any regret at voicing his love. What he felt could not be summarized in a four-letter word and given a lifetime, he was sure he would never be able to completely express what she meant to him. He was damned near obsessed with her, her scent, her taste, the way her face lit up every time she smile, the way her body devoured his when she climaxed. Everything she did was so mysterious and enhancing and if that was not love, he did not want to be consumed by an emotion greater than this. He would not survive.
He was scaring her with his intensity and he was sure the incident that morning was far from helpful to his cause. How could he ask her to accept so much on such a short acquaintance? He accepted the darkness as part of himself a long time ago and it was his mission to contain it, his role as humanity's protector standing true. He'd debated whether he should confide his biggest secret in her but in the end the decision had already been made. He needed her total acceptance of him, the good and the bad. The two were inseparable.
She had been gone for quite some time and the walls were closing in on him. It was the reason why he never stayed indoors for long periods. Even in his former life, his main residence had been remote, hours form the nearest road and surrounded by miles and miles of forest. The wildness in him longed to break free and he knew that only her soothing touch, only gazing upon her splendor would calm the raging beast.
A flash of white on the rocking chair caught his attention and he picked up the sketch of himself, humbled by the way she portrayed him. It was like a window to his soul. Most of him was covered in shadows, emotions that he wanted to protect her from depicted with painful clarity. The darkness of his nature was not something he was proud of but she made it beautiful and had he not known it was he in the drawing, he would have sympathized with the poor soul.
Other parts of him were drawn in startling clarity. His eyes blazed with heat and he remembered watching her, pencil in hand, fingers moving with a confidence he found sexy, wishing that they played on his cock with the same dedication. His nose could only be described as stubborn but she added a softness he would not have described as part of his nature but was unlocked in her presence. It was alarming how much of him she saw. He'd never been this vulnerable, this exposed.
Her art studio called to him and, replacing the sketch, he pushed the door open, again hit with her true aura. Restless energy concentrated here and he could picture her, focused and in her element, paint splattered on her cheek and clothes. He hoped to watch her create one of these emotion capturing portraits one day. His cock twitched at the thought. Was there anything she did he did not find sexy?