You'll want to at least skim Part 1 to have this make a lick of sense. However, if you don't, be warned that this story series combines elements of mind control (especially) and freeuse (somewhat). Although it doesn't seem like exactly either, it's closely related β alongside the questionable consent such may imply β so if you don't enjoy elements in that ballpark then I can't recommend this tale. All characters participating in sexual activity in these stories are 18+.
* * *
The most-convincing lies are the ones we tell ourselves.
I needed to make sure Marcia was all right. That was the only reason I was there, in her apartment. But although that justification may have sounded good in the abstract, it did
not
explain why I was kneeling in front of her relaxed and unwitting body, my hot breath mere inches from her crotch, each inhale I took sending the pungent tang of her panties into my nostrils. My transgression into her intimate space scuttled any "concerned citizen" untruth I told myself. But that moment β and the rest of what was to become a momentous evening β built on all that had come before.
I'm getting ahead of myself.
What had transpired the previous day was beyond the pale; to call it "unacceptable" is an insult to things that
are
merely unacceptable, like parking in a handicap space, farting in an elevator, or requesting "It Wasn't Me" from a wedding DJ.
Yes, the violation of Marcia Keller's body and spirit was the most erotic moment of my life, the explosive resolution to years of pent-up frustration and rage. Hearing her climactic shrieks echoing off the library walls β shaking the dust off ill-touched tomes β etched its spastic sound waves into my cranium like the gold record on the
Voyager
satellite, never to be forgotten. The two orgasms I had in rapid succession were an indescribable pleasure I could conjure from memory with near-total recall.
Admittedly, the
photographic
and
videographic
account of the incident helped, and were
graphic
indeed, honing and heightening the experience in my apartment that evening. My finger touched her flattened face time and again as I swiped to advance the prurient progression of JPGs. My movie wasn't quite as rewarding. Apparently, I am a really shitty cameraman, and trying to watch my efforts made me more motion sick than aroused, as if
Cloverfield
were an unsatisfying porno.
However, even having dropped my phone as I came in Marcia's panties, it still worked its magic to record the audio of our amour, and I rewound the moaning MOV over and over to hear her screams:
FUCKING FUCK I'M
CUMMING SO HARD
nnnggghhh!
Nnnghnghh!!
NNNGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
NNNNGGGGHH!
NNNGGGH!
Nnnngh.
Nnnnngghh...
Rewind.
FUCKING FUCK I'M
CUMMING SO HARD
nnnggghhh!
Nnnghnghh!!
NNNGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
NNNNGGGGHH!
NNNGGGH!
Nnnngh.
Nnnnngghh...
Rewind.
FUCKING FUCK I'M
CUMMING SO HARD
nnnggghhh!
Nnnghnghh!!
NNNGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
NNNNGGGGHH!
NNNGGGH!
Nnnngh.
Nnnnngghh...
Rewind.
FUCKING FUCK I'M
CUMMING SO HARD
nnnggghhh!
Nnnghnghh!!
NNNGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
NNNNGGGGHH!
NNNGGGH!
Nnnngh.
Nnnnngghh...
If the neighbors heard this endless loop of illicit smut played at near-maximum volume, they gave no indication.
The warnings of "20% battery remaining," "10% battery remaining," and β eventually β black-screen death convinced me to put down the phone and go to sleep.
Still, as indescribably pleasurable as my bibliographic ball-draining all was, I
did
feel guilt... and, even though I was turgidly tense and desperate for release as I relived the moment over and over and over that night, I could only bring myself to the edge (so to speak) but no further. I think I thought if I could refrain from giving in fully to self-pleasure, that would somehow make my assault "okay," as if I weren't
really
enjoying it.
Whatever the thought process was, it turned out β with the benefit of hindsight β to be a nontrivial mistake.
In any event, the moonlit night swallowed my conscious self deep into its damp velvety darkness like... well, yeah. (Again, those library memories were etched acid-scar deep.)
The reality of what I'd done the prior day came flooding to me with the morning sun, and I began feverishly thinking of what I could do to repent... how I could make it up to Marcia, or at least make sure that I hadn't caused any lasting damage to her mind, body, or reputation.
And so, the most logical thing to do was to see her again at the library and follow her home. Or so I told myself. There is no idea so bad that one cannot will oneself into thinking it's good.
Despite my best efforts, my cunning plan did
not
end in abject failure immediately, as it turns out Marcia
did
work the next day. As a reminder: I hadn't seen her in years before I near-literally tripped over her the previous day. I had no idea where she lived, nor any better plan how to get in contact with her than "go to the library at about the same time I was there yesterday and hope that she's at work again"... a scheme with all the contingency preparedness and think-through of Underpants Gnomes.
Fortunately, even stupid plans work sometimes, because I
did
see Marcia the next day at the library, working the shift where I encountered her previously. Standing in front of her at the services desk, I drank in every detail I could, like the fractal beauty of a Rodin sculpture. More precisely, a Rodin sculpture wearing a
Hadestown
T-shirt and tight denim jeans β one that absentmindedly scrolled TikTok via iPhone resting on a library desk.
Of course, even as Marcia looked up periodically to ensure that no one needed her services, she didn't sense me as I stood 10 feet away,
I was invisible.
Five feet away.
Unseeable.
Two feet.
The universe's secret.
One.
I was nobody.
Her hazel eyes didn't betray any trauma or suffering, no matter how close I approached to look at them β even positioned as I was, pupil to pupil, my lips an inch away from hers. The shallow breath came from her slightly parted red-daubed lips carried with it a scent of cinnamon caramel coffee.
I forced my own breathing to stop as I inspected her eyes, her lips, her soul for any hint of pain. And... did I detect it? Under her breath, a pulsing
"hmhmhmhm hm-hm hm-hm hm-hm"
β almost a whimpering sound?
I leaned closer, my heart sinking. I put my ear as near as I could to her mouth. If she was crying here, at the site of my unspeakable perversion, I could never forgiβ
But, no. She wasn't whimpering or crying. She was... singing?
It was unmistakable, a subvocal private song of a woman who was trying to keep her mind occupied while at work. It was that song... Oh, I don't know it, but it's that one that was really popular a decade or so back by that one woman. " 'Cause a skater's gotta skate-skate-skate-skate-skate" β something like that. Not my taste, but
really
catchy.
I jerked my head back in surprise. And I saw it, almost as invisible as I was... the slight upturned curl of her crimson lips, a private half-smile. Marcia was always a pretty happy girl, but I don't recall ever seeing her
this
happy. She was certainly happier than she appeared yesterday, when she looked to me like she was trying to keep her heart and mind together while dealing with Richard.
Her private song continued, as she obviously got to the chorus: "I just gotta shake-shake-shake-shake-shake/shake it up, shake it up"... however it goes.
She
clearly knew the song, as her shoulders bobbed in its own private "shake," almost imperceptible to anyone who
wasn't
inches away from her. The slight sway of her inner happiness conveyed to her breasts, which lightly bobbed in perky counterpoint to her own music.
I gave a laugh-sob of joy as my mind raced at the implications. Yes, I was still invisible to her. She almost certainly didn't remember me... neither our months together in high-school senior year, nor our "reintroduction" yesterday. But had I β somehow β given her the joy of consummation of our adolescent courting, here at the counter? Had I bestowed upon her mind and body a release it desperately needed, such that she's still riding the same orgasmic high I am? Is there a part of her that remembers our encounter, that can live in the darkness even when I pull away?
I kept considering the implications, my mind still fuzzy with warring quadrants of love and lust and shame and rage.
Which is partly to explain what I did next β for all the best reasons, I told myself.
See, there was just one part left that I needed to check. By all outward appearances, she seemed fine. The mascara that had previously been smudged from spit and semen was immaculate. The formerly smeared scarlet lipstick that encircled my cock had been carefully reapplied. Her face was clean and pristine, with no trace of frantic fluids spewed on her by a madman.
But there was one place I had yet to check.
There are things we do that β even if they sound smart β we do them in a
really
stupid way.
To explain my logic and back up a bit... I often still act in the world as if I were visible, an irrational fear of the world
finally
seeing me at the exact moment I don't want it to. As a result, sometimes if I'm doing something I don't want people to know, I'll do it slowly and quietly. I'm pretty sure I've seen
others
do this when
they're
not observed, so I'm going to guess this is a fairly common occurrence. But I'm not exactly an expert on what's normal, so I could be wrong.
Anyway, the part of Marcia that was most-sullied by my ministrations was her panties. And the memory of
that
moment clings to my eyes
(gray-white fluid in slimy pools seeping through silk)
and fingers