You'll want to at least skim Part 1 to have this make a lick of sense. However, if you don't, be warned that this story series combines elements of mind control (especially) and freeuse (somewhat). Although it doesn't seem like exactly either, it's closely related β alongside the questionable consent such may imply β so if you don't enjoy elements in that ballpark then I can't recommend this tale. All characters participating in sexual activity in these stories are 18+.
* * *
The most-convincing lies are the ones we tell ourselves.
I needed to make sure Marcia was all right. That was the only reason I was there, in her apartment. But although that justification may have sounded good in the abstract, it did
not
explain why I was kneeling in front of her relaxed and unwitting body, my hot breath mere inches from her crotch, each inhale I took sending the pungent tang of her panties into my nostrils. My transgression into her intimate space scuttled any "concerned citizen" untruth I told myself. But that moment β and the rest of what was to become a momentous evening β built on all that had come before.
I'm getting ahead of myself.
What had transpired the previous day was beyond the pale; to call it "unacceptable" is an insult to things that
are
merely unacceptable, like parking in a handicap space, farting in an elevator, or requesting "It Wasn't Me" from a wedding DJ.
Yes, the violation of Marcia Keller's body and spirit was the most erotic moment of my life, the explosive resolution to years of pent-up frustration and rage. Hearing her climactic shrieks echoing off the library walls β shaking the dust off ill-touched tomes β etched its spastic sound waves into my cranium like the gold record on the
Voyager
satellite, never to be forgotten. The two orgasms I had in rapid succession were an indescribable pleasure I could conjure from memory with near-total recall.
Admittedly, the
photographic
and
videographic
account of the incident helped, and were
graphic
indeed, honing and heightening the experience in my apartment that evening. My finger touched her flattened face time and again as I swiped to advance the prurient progression of JPGs. My movie wasn't quite as rewarding. Apparently, I am a really shitty cameraman, and trying to watch my efforts made me more motion sick than aroused, as if
Cloverfield
were an unsatisfying porno.
However, even having dropped my phone as I came in Marcia's panties, it still worked its magic to record the audio of our amour, and I rewound the moaning MOV over and over to hear her screams:
FUCKING FUCK I'M
CUMMING SO HARD
nnnggghhh!
Nnnghnghh!!
NNNGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
NNNNGGGGHH!
NNNGGGH!
Nnnngh.
Nnnnngghh...
Rewind.
FUCKING FUCK I'M
CUMMING SO HARD
nnnggghhh!
Nnnghnghh!!
NNNGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
NNNNGGGGHH!
NNNGGGH!
Nnnngh.
Nnnnngghh...
Rewind.
FUCKING FUCK I'M
CUMMING SO HARD
nnnggghhh!
Nnnghnghh!!
NNNGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
NNNNGGGGHH!
NNNGGGH!
Nnnngh.
Nnnnngghh...
Rewind.
FUCKING FUCK I'M
CUMMING SO HARD
nnnggghhh!
Nnnghnghh!!
NNNGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
NNNNGGGGHH!
NNNGGGH!
Nnnngh.
Nnnnngghh...
If the neighbors heard this endless loop of illicit smut played at near-maximum volume, they gave no indication.
The warnings of "20% battery remaining," "10% battery remaining," and β eventually β black-screen death convinced me to put down the phone and go to sleep.
Still, as indescribably pleasurable as my bibliographic ball-draining all was, I
did
feel guilt... and, even though I was turgidly tense and desperate for release as I relived the moment over and over and over that night, I could only bring myself to the edge (so to speak) but no further. I think I thought if I could refrain from giving in fully to self-pleasure, that would somehow make my assault "okay," as if I weren't
really
enjoying it.
Whatever the thought process was, it turned out β with the benefit of hindsight β to be a nontrivial mistake.
In any event, the moonlit night swallowed my conscious self deep into its damp velvety darkness like... well, yeah. (Again, those library memories were etched acid-scar deep.)
The reality of what I'd done the prior day came flooding to me with the morning sun, and I began feverishly thinking of what I could do to repent... how I could make it up to Marcia, or at least make sure that I hadn't caused any lasting damage to her mind, body, or reputation.
And so, the most logical thing to do was to see her again at the library and follow her home. Or so I told myself. There is no idea so bad that one cannot will oneself into thinking it's good.
Despite my best efforts, my cunning plan did
not
end in abject failure immediately, as it turns out Marcia
did
work the next day. As a reminder: I hadn't seen her in years before I near-literally tripped over her the previous day. I had no idea where she lived, nor any better plan how to get in contact with her than "go to the library at about the same time I was there yesterday and hope that she's at work again"... a scheme with all the contingency preparedness and think-through of Underpants Gnomes.
Fortunately, even stupid plans work sometimes, because I
did
see Marcia the next day at the library, working the shift where I encountered her previously. Standing in front of her at the services desk, I drank in every detail I could, like the fractal beauty of a Rodin sculpture. More precisely, a Rodin sculpture wearing a
Hadestown
T-shirt and tight denim jeans β one that absentmindedly scrolled TikTok via iPhone resting on a library desk.
Of course, even as Marcia looked up periodically to ensure that no one needed her services, she didn't sense me as I stood 10 feet away,
I was invisible.