Note: I'd like to thank Astraea who recommended I try my hand at a piece of fiction like this. This story happens three months before Hypnonauts and is set a year after Swimteam, both of which are in the same continuity. It is connected to the former and the latter. But, you can read it on its own.
MC SF MA MM MF
*****
"How do you kill a vampire when it's stuck in your head?" Jake asked.
"Well," Liam responded, "you can't."
"Maybe it's more of a succubus than a vampire." Jake noted.
"Okay. Let's have a look?" Liam said.
With a deep, wet, horrible schlucking sound, Liam pulled the top of Jake's head off and looked inside.
"Yep. You have a vampire in there." Liam said.
Jake woke up screaming. And, when he bit his lips with his fangs, they bled.
--
Concord hummed along, lines of text scrolling up screens across the world, millions of people chatting, texting, sharing images, sharing audio files, and in general going about the business of communicating. A billion memes of information passing over eyes every second.
Several thousand pairs of special eyes watched and were heavy lidded, mouths obeying, the words "Yes, my Master" falling off of a thousand tongues. Fangs dropping down over open lips.
They were all male and all were masturbating in unison, theta-rhythms playing across a thousand speakers. Synchronizing every mind.
Jake was one with them.
--
The package Jake had received in the mail a week earlier from his favorite retailer was unexpected. But, inside that box had been a magnetic toy. "SmartBoard! Gives you the answers you need!" The kind that you could use a magnetic pen on and draw shapes with. He'd extracted it, opened the nasty plastic packaging carefully with a knife, and proceeded to play.
As he drew on the surface with the magnetic pen, it responded to his every touch. Triangles. Circles. Kind of boring. He drew a smiley face.
The smiley face morphed into an unhappy face, the magnetic bits rearranging organically.
Jake almost dropped the board.
"What. The. Fuck." Jake said to his apartment.
The magnetic board rearranged itself and spelled out "Hello, Jake. Ask me anything. Just write it out."
Jake looked at the board and did a double-take. Then he wondered if this was really happening.
Incredulous, he wrote on the board, "What is happening?"
"Oh," the board responded, "you're on Concord. Which is why you got me."
Jake put the board down on the coffee table gently like it was nuclear weapon, primed to go off.
"Don't do that!" The board's magnetic pieces fuzz rearranged themselves to spell out. "That's a mistake."
Jake looked at the board. The board was looking right back at Jake, although he didn't know it.
"Come on." The board wrote in beautiful cursive. "Don't you have any questions?"
Jake picked the board back up. Gingerly. And wrote: "What kind of a prank is this?"
"No prank," the board responded, arranging its nanites under its skin, and in flowery script wrote, "I'm your new Concord Buddy. Ask me absolutely anything."
Jake wrote out: "OK. This is absurd. You know my name. This has to be a prank."
"No prank. Just ask me anything." The board replied.
"Why me?" Jake wrote.
"Because your profile meets all of the requirements for having me." The board responded. Dotting its "I"s with stars.
"What profile?" Jake wrote.
"Oh, your usage and your chats. I can see all of those. Including your trances." The board wrote back.
Jake just didn't know what to do. It was mid-day on a Saturday and he was having a conversation with a magnetic play board. A complete conversation. It was just . . .
At that moment there was stinging in his finger where he held the pen in his hand. He didn't drop the pen, but did look at it and there was a tiny drop of blood at his index finger.
"What was that?" Jake wrote.
"Oh, you're going to be a vampire," the nanites wrote back across the screen. "It's OK. I'm here to help you every step of the way."
Jake couldn't move. Couldn't even process what was happening.
"Awesome!" The board wrote in flowery script. "That's the nanites in your bloodstream. Making a few additions."
Jake sank into the couch as an orgasm flooded over him from the center of his brain.
"What's cooler?" The board wrote after it erased itself. "Is that you're going to be into dudes as well as chicks."
All Jake could think was the word "fuck" as the board drew a huge penis with gigantic balls before he passed out.