I'm not one for kiss and tell stories. But this just happened to me, and I have to tell somebody. I hope you don't mind but it's something I really shouldn't have done, and I feel quite conflicted about it. It's not like I can tell anyone I actually know, and I'd love your opinion.
Anyway, I don't know if it's always been this way, but there's something about being on a ward that brings out the worst in patients. I'm a junior nurse, mid 20s, trying to keep fit but with a lifestyle that doesn't help. I'll leave the rest to your imagination. I mainly do night work, because my situation makes it easier for me to go after the slightly better money.
The work can be hard and it can also be rewarding. But it can also, occasionally, be whatever in hell the opposite of rewarding is! I'm also what my momma used to call 'a little bit brown' which, these days, seems to rub some folks up wrong before I've even opened my mouth. I keep telling myself that I'm meeting these people at their worst, so I have to be at my best. That somehow gets me through.
Not that everyone is an asshole. Don't get me wrong, we do get some nice folk passing through. Real polite, understanding, and thankful that we're here to do our job. Which after all, is to mind them. Besides, the patients are only half the story. I could make your blood boil with tales about doctors and other nurses and administrators and the shit they bring down on us for what seems like no reason. Not that I'm complaining. I got a good job. I make ok money. Some days I get to help save people's lives or just make them feel better.
Johnson ward on a graveyard shift could be a heaven or hell shift depending on who you drew in terms of patients and other staff. On the night in question, it was mostly great. Teresa was senior nurse on call. She used the quiet time to catch up on stacks of paperwork in the small office. I spent my time divided between the nurses' station and the ward, doing my rounds like a prison guard. The ward itself had ten beds. This night, six were occupied. Two had left us unexpectedly. I'll say no more about that. Two more were due in first thing.
Somewhere in the very small hours, I noticed a light shining before I even stepped inside the ward. Last bed, modesty curtain drawn, a phone light shone in the dark room. Hardly disturbing the other snoring patients, but it's my job to check. I coughed lightly as I walked up to the curtain. I'm pretty sure I detected the unmistakable sound of someone pleasuring themselves.
"Hello." I said quietly. Then, with some trepidation, I pulled the curtain back a few inches. The patient was a man in his sixties. Recovering from a routine procedure. He'd be out in the morning, most likely. When I popped my head round, he was lying in the bed like nothing was happening, nonchalantly (too nonchalantly!) scrolling through Facebook on his phone.
"Hello." He replied warmly, smiling broadly. He looked slightly flushed, either from my sudden appearance or from whatever he'd been engaged in just before I arrived. He had his knees raised slightly under the covers, so there were no unsightly bulges, I noticed.
"Having trouble falling asleep?" I asked, matter-of-factly.
"A little." He admitted somewhat sheepishly. I asked him if he was ok and if there was anything I could get him to help him nod off.
"Oh, I'm fine, thank you." He smiled kindly. "Unless you'd care to take some weight off and keep me company for a few minutes." He looked straight in my eyes, and I felt a pang of something I couldn't quite recognize. "Unless that's against the rules." He added quickly.
"Oh, no, it's fine." I said and squeezed myself into the tiny seat near the head of the bed.
"I'm Tom." He offered his hand, and I shook it.
"I believe you'll be leaving us in the morning, Tom." I said in a friendly tone.
"Yes. Thankfully I keep myself pretty healthy."
"Good man."
A couple of beats of silence.
"Can I tell you something, Nurse?"
"Jen." I responded, nodding warmly.
"It's a little delicate." I nodded.
"It's just that I've done something and I'm not sure whether it was the right thing to do."
"Oh?"
"Over the last few days, I've become chatty with one of the ladies in the ward across the corridor. I won't mention her name but she's in her early seventies, I think. Being mobile, I've been able to wander about and chat to the ones who can't."
I nodded, wondering where this was going.
"Well, this particular lady, I was just with her a little while ago."
I nodded again, hiding the knot tightening in my stomach. What was he going to confess?
"We got chatting, and she let it slip in the course of the conversation that she missed the human touch. Her partner had passed many years ago and she'd never thought to date."
I nodded again, nervously.
"Well, long story short, I offered to help her out a little."
A shocked look crossed my face.
"Oh, completely consensually, I swear. She actually asked me, and I agreed."
"What form of human touch did this involve?" I asked, trying to sound clinical.
"Well, I slipped my hand under the sheets and under her gown. I very gently caressed her mound, slipping my hand along her lips down there, allowing them to become a little moist."
His voice was educated and mellifluous when he talked. Guy could have done talk radio.
Quite unexpectedly, I felt myself becoming slightly aroused, and shifted on the chair a little.
I kept my face passive. He took that as a sign to continue.