Educational opportunities for girls in the North of Scotland began to improve in the 1960s when schools were encouraged to allow them access to all academic subjects. This laudable aim was however fraught with difficulties, not least because of inbuilt prejudices. Girls were still considered as stupid and only capable of being domestics, housewives, and mothers. Any girl trying to do advanced study was looked down upon, trivialized and openly derided by boys in class and even had a hard time from some girls, who considered them as 'boyish' and betraying their female role. These difficulties were often exaggerated by the attitudes of male staff who thought it a waste of their time to teach soppy girls. Girls had to be determined, thick-skinned and very hard working to overcome these challenges.
My parents were crofters. As their only daughter, I had significant responsibilities for running of the house and in caring for my brothers. It was anticipated that as soon as I could legitimately do so, I'd leave school and take a job as a domestic or shopworker to earn money to supplement the family income. My parents weren't uncaring, and my position wasn't extreme or unusual for that area. All girls faced the same scenario and most accepted their fate.
I watched as older friends left school, went into dead-end jobs, got married and become slaves burdened down by large families; to have ten or more kids wasn't that uncommon for women of the time. I knew that this was not for me, I wanted to have a proper job, a career even, to be independent and in control of my life but the available options were limited. My family needed an extra income. Luck was, however, to be on my side. A new store in town wanted to open in the evenings but had problems finding the staff to work the late hours. They were taken aback when I approached them about a job but agreed to give me a four-week trial, which then became permanent.
My folks were wonderful. Secretly, they'd always hoped I could finish my schooling and supported me in this new approach. They knew that with school and a job my days would be very long and tiring so relieved me of most of my chores. To my brothers' chagrin, they were made to take over many of my household duties.
For the next four years, my life revolved around, school, and work. I had to be very organized to keep up with my studies, mainly as several teachers were ready to put the boot in if there was any slip in my standards. However, Mr. Jones was my savior, he took me under his wing, imbued me with his interest in and enthusiasm for the sciences and helped me get high enough grades to go to the university. I was the first girl from the school to do so, much to the dismay of several golden boys who had wanted to go to the university but didn't make an effort to do the work.
Once at the university I kept up this strict regime of work and study at the exclusion of anything else. I was a recluse in a sea of people, determined to get a high-grade degree even at the expense of social life. Although I'm sure that I was a crashing bore and hated by fellow students, the strategy worked, and I had top grades in my first three years.
I'd planned to spend the first few weeks of the summer break at home with my family and friends before going back to my job full-time to build up funds for the coming year. These arrangements went out of the window as soon as I received a call from my friend Jenny. Her grandfather Sandy had been in the hospital and was now due to come home to convalesce.
"I'm abroad for the next three weeks. I know that it's a big ask but would you be willing to look after grandpa until I get back. He's independent and self-sufficient, so it is just to keep an eye on him, deal with any problems and provide some company."
Jenny was one of my few good friends, I owed her a lot, and I knew Sandy, having met him once during a visit to her home. After a little hesitation, I agreed. That afternoon I went to the hospital to see Sandy and made the necessary arrangements for him to return home on the following day.
Sandy was sixty-five, looked frail but was cheery and talkative and delighted to see me. "Thank you for stepping into the breach. I thought I'd be here for another three weeks. Don't get me wrong, I'm well looked after, but it's not like being at home."
"I know what you mean, and I'm happy to help. If you give me your keys, I'll go around to the flat tomorrow morning and make sure that everything is ready for you to come home in the afternoon."
Sandy had a two-bedroom ground floor flat five blocks away from my student residence. I packed a bag of essentials and headed off to there the next morning. I gave the apartment a makeover and stocked up with food items from the local shop.
I was stopped by a lady on my way back to the flat. "Who are you, what are you doing here? Sandy isn't around right now."
"I'm Janice, a friend of his grand-daughter. Sandy is coming home from the hospital this afternoon, and I'm going to look after him until Jenny returns from her trip."
"Oh, I'm sorry to have questioned you. I hope Sandy will be well again soon. Don't hesitate to ask if there is anything you need."
"No problem at all, you can't be too careful these days." I noticed the woman peering out from behind her curtains when the taxi brought Sandy to the door. Clearly, she had to know everything that was going on.
Sandy and I sat and chatted for a while. I'd wondered how I could hold a conversation with him but no worries, he was very talkative, and I just had to listen. I got a snapshot of his life. He and his sweetheart Maggie married at twenty, had thirty happy years together and raised three daughters. Sandy went to live with one of his daughters, Jenny's mum after Maggie passed away and became Jenny's guardian when her mother sadly passed on. He raised Jenny through the awkward teen years, and they'd moved into the present flat when she started at the university.
We shared a light evening meal, and soon Sandy decided to go off to bed. After tidying up in the kitchen, I went to check that he had everything he needed for the night. I'd forgotten how tiring a hospital stay can be, so was a little surprised to find that he was already fast asleep. Ah, the wonders of being in your own comfy bed.
Sandy slept all the way through to mid-day but then got up full of energy and life. After lunch, we went for a walk around the local area where we bumped into a few of his friends, including the woman from the previous day. I soon realized how unfit I'd become, I was struggling to keep up with a spritely sixty-five-year-old.
That evening we had a meal together, watched some television and both headed off to bed at around nine o'clock. I was getting settled down when I had a sense that something was not quite right. I got up and went through to Sandy's room, to find him sitting on the edge of the bed sobbing."
"What's wrong, what's the matter?"