Emily Is Healed

Emily and I were in the same year at college. I knew her through several courses we had in common, but we were not close. She did not return to classes after the Christmas break. Indeed, it was at the beginning of February before I saw her again. I noticed that she was very quiet and withdrawn. The story doing the rounds was that she had a very serious illness, but a close friend of mine told me Emily had been sexually assaulted.

Emily went to her courses regularly after her return. However, she did not interact much with her classmates and became increasingly morose and isolated. Not surprising after what had happened to her. Her closest college friends tried to support her but were unsure how best to do so. They encouraged her to socialize again and arranged a party for classmates and friends. Emily was reluctant to go but eventually agreed.

The party was already underway when Emily arrived with a couple of her friends. All the girls were very attentive and chatty with her and she seemed to lighten up. However, as the evening went on I noticed that she was increasingly left on her own, as friends and their partners got together to make out and enjoy some fun. She was also drinking quite a lot of wine.

I saw two students from another course trying to hit on her and not in a friendly manner. "Come on. Find out what a real man can do. You know you want to."

Emily was struggling to get away. She was grabbed by one of the students and he tried to kiss her. I made it over to her in seconds and pushed the guy off. "Go away" (or words to that effect). The second guy was going to punch me, but people around dragged them both off.

They were laughing, "come on we were just having a bit of fun", but Emily was shaking and in tears.

"What do you want to do?"

"I want to go home?"

"I'll get a taxi and make sure you get there safely."

Emily was leaning unsteadily against me. She was clearly tipsy. I held her arm to support her and we went out to the taxi. Her friends gathered around, "we are so sorry for what happened. Don't let this put you off."

"Make sure she is safe."

We soon arrived outside her block of flats and I helped her up the stairs. As the alcohol had kicked in, she had become even more unsteady than before. She gave me her keys, I took her into the flat and helped her to the sofa. I shut and locked the door and went back through to her.

She looked very distressed. I wondered if she was scared to be alone with me.

"What is wrong?"

"I need to go to the loo. I am desperate, but I cannot get myself up."

I lifted her and walked her through to the loo, but she was still very anxious. It took a few seconds for me to twig. She was now so unsteady that she could not take down her underwear. So, whilst she supported herself on my shoulders, I reached under her skirt and pulled her tights and panties down. I then lifted her skirt, lowered her on to the toilet and left her to do the necessary.

"Where do you keep your pajamas?"

"In the top drawer of the unit beside the bed."

Emily was drying herself down there when I came back with her pink pajamas. I took her shoes, tights, and panties off and slipped her legs into her pajama bottoms. I lifted her up, undid her skirt and let it drop before pulling her pajama bottoms into place. I admit having a glance at her nice fuzzy mound in the process, but that was all.

I took her to the bedroom. As I started to undo her blouse, she became very agitated again, "what are you doing to me?"

She settled slightly when I said, "I am taking your blouse and bra off so that you can put on your pajama top."

This done I lifted her up, folded back the duvet and sheets and put her into the bed. I tucked her in and kissed her lightly on the cheek. "Good night, you are safe, sleep well."

"Please, don't leave me here on my own."

"I am not going to. I noticed you have a spare duvet and pajamas. I will curl up here on the carpet. Let me know if you need anything during the night."

She must have a thing about shocking pink pajamas, but they served their purpose. I wrapped myself in the duvet, put out the light and was soon asleep. Sometime later I heard Emily shouting, "leave me alone, take your hands off me, don't hurt me, oh no please no". She was having a flashback. I wasn't sure what best to do. I didn't want to scare her. I got up, sat on edge of the bed and gently stroked her brow and hair. I whispered, "shush Emily, they are gone, you are safe now" again and again. She slowly calmed down and went back to sleep.

I was awakened by the early morning sunlight shining through the blinds. I was blinking and struggling to remember what had happened last night when I realized that under the duvet with her head nestled against my chest was Emily.

She stirred. "I had another nightmare. You looked so reassuring lying down here, especially after everything you did for me. I crawled in beside you for comfort and went to sleep. I hope you are not angry."

"Not at all, glad to help."

"Thank you, but one thing: can we go up to the bed? This floor is very uncomfortable."

I unfolded the duvet, picked her up and put her back to bed. I slipped in beside her, we cuddled together as before and slept through to mid-morning.

Over breakfast, Emily told me a little about the sexual assault. It had been a relative. Sadly, other than her mother, most tried to suggest that she was at fault for flaunting herself and egging him on. This was untrue. She had not even seen the person before he dragged her off, beat her and took her mercilessly. The lack of empathy and support from her family left her feeling ashamed, guilty and very alone.

"I had to get away from there and came back to college as soon as the doctors said that I could. I tried to use my studies to mask my memories of the assault, as though it had never happened. It worked to start with, but now I am having recurring flashbacks and panic attacks. I am not sleeping, not functioning and getting more and more depressed."

"You can't carry this on your own. You need the help of a counselor to work through it."

She shook her head. "I cannot talk to a total stranger about it. I am too embarrassed."

I held Emily's hands. "You can't do this alone. I am not a counselor, but I am willing to talk things through with you and help you in any way I can."

"Thank you so much. Chatting with you already has helped."

She hesitated for a moment. "This is going to sound strange, but last night you helped suppress my nightmares and I slept better than for a long time. Would you help me again tonight?"

This took me aback, but how could I refuse. "Yes of course, when do you want me to be here?"

"We have the same course at the end of the day. After that, we can have dinner together."

"That is fine for me."

It is funny how difficult it was to concentrate on my studies that afternoon. Also, it was unsettling when her girl classmates came to thank me for looking after Emily. What exactly had she told them?

After finishing our meal, we changed into our pajamas and sat together on the sofa chatting. Emily was nervous but talked a lot about the last few weeks. It had been a living nightmare with no-one for her to turn to for help. I was so sad that we had not met sooner but hoped I was now helping calm her demons.

Emily said, "let's go to bed." I was following her into the room when she started to take off her pajama s. "We had better get this over with so we can go to sleep"

I was in a daze, wondering what was going on. Then it dawned on me. In her confused state, she thinks that sharing her bed with a man means we must have sex. She looked so confused and surprised when I pulled her pajama s back into place.

"No, you have been through too much. I am just your comforter for now. We are just sleeping together. Nothing else. If you want to go further in future, that is okay, but take time out. You need to heal."

"But you have needs. As a girl, it is my job to satisfy them." She started to cry.

This sounded like something her 'supportive family' had used to excuse her attack. A shocking way to pass the blame onto the victim. Her psyche and self-worth have been scarred and it will be hard to rebuild.

I held her close. "You are a girl, an individual, not just a plaything for boys. You are their equal, with your own rights, challenges, opportunities, and desires. They have no entitlement to you or to demand or force you to satisfy their lust."

"But he did."

"He was just a beast, using your body. Most men only want to make love with a woman who is an equal and consenting partner."

"My needs are not important. My only priority is to help you recover and move on. That will take time and patience and we can take as long as you need."

Emily relaxed in my arms. "Does this mean that tonight is not a one-off?"

I surprised even myself by saying, "No, I will be here whenever and for however long is needed."

"Wow, are you sure?"

"Yes, I will get you through this"

We got into bed. Unlike before, we were self-conscious. We lay beside each other staring at the ceiling for a while before we huddled together. She froze when we initially touched, but then slowly relaxed as our bodies settled together. We slept through to morning and over breakfast, Emily said that it was the first night for so long that she had no flashbacks.

I knew I could not handle this on my own. I needed advice, so I went to see a friend in the Counselling Service. She said it would be best if Emily talked directly to them. I explained that I had suggested it, but that she felt too ashamed.

"That is not unusual. Many sexual assault victims are made to feel that it was their fault and do not seek the help they need. They suffer alone. At least Emily is confiding in you. It will be difficult and she will go through many lows, but there are ways to recognize them and help her cope. I can guide you on that."

Things seemed to be going okay over the next few days, but then Emily became quiet and withdrawn. I tried to be positive and to coax her into talking but to no avail. Things came to a head when we were retiring for the night. When I was getting into bed, she suddenly froze. "Please don't come near me. Please do not touch me." She was screaming and crying.

This shocked me. It had been going so well. However, I knew how best to respond. I pulled the duvet over her, tucked her in and got a box of tissues for her. I found the spare duvet and made myself as comfortable as I could on the floor. "I am here, let me know if you want anything."

I was restless because my mind would not switch off, trying to understand what had happened. Eventually, I fell into a deep sleep and to my surprise awoke in the morning to find Emily snuggled beside me.

She was about to say something, but I said, "shush, there is something I need to do first." I got up, lifted her in my arms, placed her into bed, got in and pulled the covers over us. She rolled over and we cuddled together far more closely and intimately than ever before.

Emily was still asleep when I awakened again later that day. I got up without disturbing her, prepared some food, took it through and we had breakfast in bed together. She clasped my hands and said, "I hope are not angry with me about last night. I had been brooding about something and I just snapped. I want to tell you about it."

"I am not upset, just taken aback. Tell me about the problem. I will see if I can guide you. Take your time."

"Before the man took me, he made me undress and then pawed and groped my whole body, particularly my breasts and pussy. I cannot forget the look of leering delight on his face as he was doing it, just before he took me for the first time. That all came back to me yesterday. I could feel those hands violating me all over again and I could not stop it." She burst into tears.

"I am going to do something you might not be comfortable with, but tell me straight away if that is so."

I took her hands and folded her arms behind my back. I pulled her head onto my shoulder and embraced her. She tensed initially but then clasped her arms behind my back and we settled into a tight clinch. A mutual hug is one of the best ways of communicating both empathy and safety. The back of my shirt became quite wet, but eventually, the weeping stopped and Emily calmed down. We hugged many times that day and she was not the only one to cry as she told me the terrible details.

Emily had been assaulted by a second-cousin, who was high on drugs. He dragged her into a wood and molested her. She had tried to escape, but he beat her badly, before taking her again and again. It only stopped when a game-keeper heard her screams and rescued her. She spent two weeks in the hospital recovering from her injuries. Aunts and girl cousins made things so much worse by inferring that it was her own fault for being such a slut and leading him astray. So much for the sisterhood. Emily had been ravished and brutalized, but it was apparently her fault. No wonder Emily came back to college so soon afterward.

Emily still did not feel she could really trust anyone, boy or girl, other than me. This both astounded and humbled me. I hugged her tight. "I am so sorry and ashamed that you have suffered so much. I can't wipe that away, but I will help you get to a much better place."

"One thing. If you do start to feel this sort of discomfort again, promise to tell me. We can try to head the problem off before it becomes a crisis."

"Yes. I am sorry I should have said sooner."

Things settled over the next few weeks, with only a few blips due to flashbacks and panic attacks and even these were becoming fewer. I stirred one night and found that we were spooning, which we had not done before. More, my hand was inside Emily's pajama top and fondling her breast. It felt wonderful, but I was so shocked and scared at what I was doing. I was about to pull my hand away when I realized that Emily was holding it in place and massaging her boob with it. What is she doing? Is she dreaming?

I enjoyed that wonderful sensation of her breast for quite a while before falling back to sleep. By morning, we were lying side by side as normal. I was not a dream, but that meant Emily had deliberately used my hand instead of her own. Was she satisfying a developing need? Was she sending me a signal?

I knew that I could be misreading this and needed to be very careful. I didn't say anything and we went to bed as normal the following evening. Again, I awakened during the night to find us again in the spoon position, but this time with my hand gently stroking her pussy. I was enjoying the feel of her fuzz when I nuzzled her clit with my forefinger and slipped it between her lips. She gave a slight sigh and then stopped moving her hand, leaving mine resting on her mound. We were side by side as normal in the morning. The message was clear, but how was I to move things forward without scaring her.

From the beginning, I had decided that if Emily wanted things to go further she would have to take the lead. This would ensure she did not feel coerced. However, it began to dawn on me that she had had a very sheltered upbringing and never been alone with a boy before her assault. She was not sure how to start. This must be her way of prompting me.

That evening we were sitting on the bed in our pajamas. I took off my top, clasped her hands, placed them on my chest.

"Let your hands and lips do some exploring."

She was about to remove her top when I said, "No. This is purely for you to experience."

It was very hard to keep control as those sensuous hands and lips wandered over me. She kissed me gently whilst slowly working her hand southward under the waistband of my pajamas. Until then I had managed to keep the little man under control, but he came alive as soon as touched by her fingers. A pyramid was soon evident in my pajama bottoms.

Emily looked at me and I nodded. "Take them down and explore it, if you are sure?"

No hesitation. She pulled the bottoms off and my cock sprung to full attention with its new-found freedom. I almost came as soon as she started caressing it with her hands. I was just about holding on when she suddenly started to lick it. That just pushed me over the edge.

"Oh god, I am cumming."

With that, my cock started to pulse and spunk jetted out over Emily's hands. I was surprised when she licked cum off her hands and let me suck it off her fingers. She pulled herself on top of me and planted a cum-soaked kiss to my lips. I could see the look of joy in her eyes so I risked pulling her close to me, to make this a more two-way interaction. We stayed in that intense embrace for what seemed like forever, before eventually having to break off for air.

Here was I naked under this sexy girl with all her womanly charms just the thickness of her pajamas away. I kissed her again and started to caress her back, bottom and thighs. I could feel her body responding to my every touch and she started to kiss my neck. It was difficult to break off and she looked disappointed, but the next stage was crucial.

I got up and put on my pajama bottoms, got back onto the bed, pulled her on top of me as before and we made out. We were both getting quite hot when I took hold of her pajama top.

"Is it okay if I take this off?"

"Yes. I thought we would never get there."

I didn't have to do anything. She practically ripped it off herself and was soon grinding her pert boobs into my chest. I rolled her on her side and started to massage them and suck on her nipples. She was voracious and started rubbing her mound against my leg. I started to move my hand down her abdomen towards her pussy when I felt her tense up. She is hot and aroused, but still unsure.

"Take hold of the back of my hand. Now, move it down to your pussy and hold it there. Pull my hand back if you are uncomfortable."

No fear. Emily started to sigh as soon as my finger begun to stroke her clit and pussy lips and was moaning as I pushed my forefinger into her tight vagina. In fact, she was even trying to push herself deeper onto my finger.

"Can I take off your pajama bottoms?"

She nodded. "Yes, please?"

I pulled them down and spread her legs a little. She started to wriggle as I pushed my nose through her fuzz, sucked her clit and licked her pussy. I pushed tongue between her lips and licked and licked as deep as I could. Emily started to gasp and her body began to spasm.

"Oh my, oh my." Juice began to flow from her pussy and I licked her completely out.

I will never forget the look of joy and contentment I saw on her face when I moved up beside her. We lay on the bed smooching. It might have been that this was the moment, but I thought she is not quite ready to go all the way.

"I have had so many wonderful experiences today. I never knew it was possible to pleasure and so satisfy each other in these ways. I need to rest and soak it all in."

I got her to put on her pajama bottoms and we lay down together, petted and fell into deep sleep together.

I woke next morning to find my hand was caressing Emily's wet pussy, whilst she was stroking my not so little man.

She kissed me. "Let's do it now."

Hormones kicked in quickly and I was fully erect. I took off our pajama bottoms and moved between her legs. I tweaked her clit and rubbed my cock between her pussy lips. She gasped as I pushed the tip through her lips. She seemed disappointed when I then pulled it completely out but sighed very deeply when I pushed back even deeper into her. This I did five times before being fully inside her.

"Relax. You can breathe, you know."

I moved back and fore within her tight hot pussy. Within a couple of minutes, she was bucking and groaning and I felt her warm juices flood around my cock. A few more strokes into that sweet tunnel triggered my climax and I emptied my load into her.