SHEILA SHOWS OFF.
"Goddammit all to Hell!!"
I was an entire fifty yards from Sheila's stall at The Nimitz Road flea market, and I still knew it was her screaming. She had that same redneck accent my family had, and a smoky rasp to her voice that was unmistakable. About three seconds after she yelled, I saw her come out of her stall and pull down the Garage-style rolling door to close it up. I was heading her way to see if she had any new Playboys or issues of Fish Police, my 3rd favorite comic. I was also heading her way because a couple weeks ago she popped my 19 year old cherry. Sheila was a 1970's white trash Queen with dyed blonde hair, out of date make up and a wardrobe that consisted entirely of tight jeans, polyester and Rock concert t-shirts from shows she actually attended. At the moment she was in an orange polyester pantsuit and totally pissed off. She was chain lighting a Benson and Hedges 100 as she came storming down the way and then caught my eye.
"Jake! Perfect! You're just the man I need to go prove a bitch wrong!" She never slowed down one bit as she grabbed my arm and began to pull me along with her, not even waiting for my reply.
"Good to see you too, Sheila."
She ignored my sarcastic greeting. "Gloria Blathernutt thinks she knows everything. I'm gonna show her different, by God and George Jones I will!"
"Where are we going?"
"We're going to the employee break area."
"Why?"
"Because she thinks she knows how to suck a dick and she's full of shit."
I was still trying to figure out her logic when we reached the employee area. There was a small crowd of seven men forming a circle around one of the picnic tables. Sheila cursed. "What the hell does she think she's doing?" She pushed her way into the circle as I peered over one of the guy's shoulders. Gloria Blathernutt was in there trying to suck on two different dicks.
Gloria sold jewelry and bought gold with her dumb-ass husband over in Booth 3, in the fancier part of the Flea Market. She had that Marilyn Quayle hairdo that was popular with the suburban Yuppie Moms at the time, and the fact that she wore Gloria Vanderbilt and Elizabeth Ashley could not erase the fact that she was dumb as Pauly Shore and greedy as Trump. She was currently sitting on the table top of the park bench, being very careful to not get any saliva on her blouse while she tentatively sucked the dicks of Charles and Julio, two of the guys who worked for the Flea Market. She was slender, almost too skinny, but she had a nice face, but not as nice as she thought, which could also be said for her body. I mean, it was nice, and I feel like a schmuck for being judgey about women's bodies, especially considering how little I had seen. But Gloria was just such a mean, shallow and bitchy person that whatever she had, would seem worse than it was, ya know?
"Oh hello Sheila, come to see how it's done?" Gloria said, grinning while holding a dick in each of her hands, one of which was only half hard.
"Sheila, what the hell...?" said Orlando, the fry cook from the snack bar. "You gonna kick her ass?" He asked hopefully. " 'cuz we heard all the shit she was saying about you and every other woman and girl at the Nimitz."
"What did she say?" I asked him.
"That no woman knows how to please a man like her, that all the other women here are shitty in the sack and frigid." Orlando was talking fast, eager to share the explosive truth.
"She didn't quite say it like that . . . but that's close enough.", confirmed Clever Larry, one of the older guys at the Market and one of the most trusted. Gloria said nothing, she just shoved one of the cocks in her mouth and wiggled her head around. The other guy's dick was still half hard. I watched her for a bit, and blurted out the question, "Are you sure you're doing that right?", I asked in a completely genuine tone.