The Wrath of the Wiced Webcam

After talking to the kids the night after I'd received the DVDs, Jocelyn asked to speak with me. She wanted to meet, face-to-face, to present her case for staying married. I acquiesced asking her to come by the house the next evening at 7:30PM, telling her the kids and I would be ready for her visit.

"The children will be there?" She asked with a somewhat surprised voice.

"Of course! There can no longer be any secretes in this family. They have as much right to know what has happened. Besides, I will be talking to them after we talk, to make the determination as a family." No one said it would be easy did they? Family issues this dark and deep get sticky, very sticky, especially when children are involved. I did not want the kids to believe they were at fault in any way, even if the truth hurt them.

"OK Bobby, I can understand. There is nothing like coming clean is there?" I did not immediately respond as I debated whether or not to ask about the location of the webcam/computer she'd been using. Then, in the spirit of coming clean, decided there should be no more surprises.

"Are you still there Bobby?" I had a way of getting quiet as I debated how to say what I needed to say.

"Yes Jocelyn. There is one other thing I will be asking you to explain. I'll want you to explain where you have been using your webcam, whose is it, that sort of thing." I could hear the intake and exhale of air on the other end of the line.

"Would it be OK if I explain that to you, now?" I was curious why she would want to keep this from the kids and wanted to make sure nothing was shared that would be especially hurtful for them. Then I reasoned that if it would be hurtful for them it would also be hurtful for me and we might not have to meet after all. Besides the topic of adult webcam sites was probably not something I wanted to explain to my children.

"OK, go ahead and explain." There was another audible intake of air followed by an exhale. Keep in mind I have not asked where she has even been these last several weeks so everything was news to me.

"The computer and webcam belongs to Harold Carpenter." Harold Carpenter was my old boss, the man who let me go when the healthcare company I worked for reduced its workforce by 50%. I'd always considered Harold to be an upfront person who treated me well. He was well respected by everyone and the community. So why was he involved with Jocelyn and seedy webcam chat rooms?

"Explain, and this better be good." I was already imagining the worst.

"OK, Harold has put to work close to fifteen women, mostly women married to your colleagues who were laid off. Harold has provided the location, security and webcam access in an old warehouse that has been remodeled with separate rooms for viewing. He has seen this as a business and a way to help keep families financially solvent, like ours. And before you ask, he never came on to me or touched me. He was never even present in the room where the computer was!" I was speechless and still did not believe she had never succumbed to Harold's, or anyone else's, lustful advances. I am, after all, a skeptical husband who was beginning to feel like a chump who had been duped and asked to accept one big suppository. The suppository was being jammed up my rectum and would soon produce a ration of pure shit.

"Bobby, are you still there? Bobby, talk to me, please."

"Jocelyn, let's just say, at least for the sake of discussion you are telling me the truth. I would be an absolute idiot to believe such a story if I could not verify it."

"So what do you need me to do to convince you I am telling you the truth? Name it?"

"By noon tomorrow I need the names, email addressed and phone numbers of each woman who is or has worked for Harold. I need to know who has exposed themselves to the public, to our friends and possibly our children." I could hear Jocelyn groan with the thought that one of our children might have seen her on the now infamous wicked webcam.

"Then I will need time to speak with each woman to confirm your story." I really did not expect Jocelyn to produce such a list because I did not believe her story. Aside from her four DVDs, which could easily have been staged, she had given me no other way to verify her story.

"Bobby, I can't violate their confidentiality and trust! Do you know what you are asking me to do?" I knew exactly what I was asking. I was asking her to do something I did not believe possible. I did not believe she had managed to get her loyalties and priorities straight.

"And you spreading yourself for God and every perverted creep wasn't a violation of our trust and confidentiality?! You can violate the trust of your marriage but not the trust of 15 webcam cyber-fuckers! If you know another way to verify your story, do so, but do it before noon tomorrow. I want to believe you but I am at the end of my rope and after tomorrow I am finished playing this game. It is just too stressful for the kids and me. Except on one of your DVD copies of a webcam broadcast, I have not seen or talked to you! Instead you have continued to talk to strangers, albeit with your clothing on, but strangers nonetheless. You do know that, whether intentional or not, you continue to give to total strangers what you need to give to your family! Goodnight Jocelyn." As I disconnected the call I called my attorney and left a voice message to have the divorce papers ready to go by the next day at noon.

After getting the kids to bed I went into the den to relax, or try and relax. I pondered checking out the live webcam site to see if I recognized any of the women (wives of friends) then realized I couldn't bring myself to even do that. So I contented myself to just check my email before going to bed.

It was the third email, of maybe 25 email messages, that caught my eye. It was from Jocelyn's hotmail account and had an attachment. The email read:

"Bobby, I thought you might ask for this . . . please try and respect what each woman has felt she was only doing what she needed to do to keep her family together. I will never again, not in this lifetime, use a webcam again! I love you and want to come home so much! Jocelyn"

There were 17 names, addresses, email addresses and phone numbers on the list. I recognized 6 or 7 of the names as co-workers who lost their job when I did. I wondered how many of the women would be home and how many would be prostituting them on line, all in the name of supporting their families.

My response to Jocelyn read. "Jocelyn, I can promise nothing. I don't want to hurt anyone but I will learn the truth even at the expense of 17 women, no 18, end in divorce. Bobby" There was always the possibility that many of the women were using the adult webcam sites with their husband's approval.

I quickly keyed in each woman's name into a distribution list and sent each one an email. It read:

I've just learned that each of you has been prostituting yourself in order to supposedly support your family as my wife had done. Unless you want your husband to know exactly what you have been doing you need to call me before noon tomorrow. If I don't hear from you by then I will immediately contact your family and share the name and location of the live webcam site. I will want to know three things: 1) did Harold ever ask you for or receive sexual favors from you, 2) did my wife, Jocelyn, to the best of your knowledge, perform sexual favors for Harold or any other patron and 3) has the experience of becoming an on-line whore been worth it? Bobby Combs.

Yes, the message was harsh and maybe over-the-top. I did not really believe all of the women were whores. Either way, I fully expected 17 married women (I was assuming they were all married) would soon feel their worlds turned up-side-down, if they had not already been going through what Jocelyn and I were.

It is entirely possible some husbands knew and approved of their wives public displays. For some it might have even been an exciting experience. Sick, at least for me, but possible. Then if a woman was a single mother and just trying to survive I think I would be a little more understanding.

I started getting email replies and phone calls within an hour of sending out my email. To my surprise not one of the responses affirmed they had ever had sex with Harold or anyone other than their husbands. Most of them pleaded with me not to tell their husbands what they were doing. All of them seemed to express some degree of shame or regret but admitted the money had been helpful for the support of their families.

It wasn't until I received a phone call the next morning from a Helen Harcourt that Jocelyn's explanation began to unravel, sort of. I remembered Helen's husband Gerald as a nice guy, though quiet and the kind of person who kept pretty much to himself. I was prepared to hear more of the same stuff and did but I learned Harold operated two webcam sites and that there were another group of "couples" who were standard on this site. Shit, just when I thought everything might actually come together, another wrinkle.

"Helen did you or Jocelyn ever works the couple's site?" As soon as I asked my question I could tell Helen realized she'd made a mistake by offering too much information.

"I'm not sure." There was too much hesitation in her response for me to not press her further.

"What do you mean, you are not sure?"

"Well, it means she might have early on but I know she hasn't the last 5-6 weeks, at least that I know of. She made it clear she was having problems at home, with her marriage, with you, and was going to do everything she could to make things right." Make things right by still going online was not, in my mind, a way to make things right.

"Helen, is the second site located in the same location?" Her hesitation told me it was. I hoped Helen never played poker because she would lose. Again, her silence told me more than what she was saying.

"Then tell me the name of the webcam site." She told me the name. It was a slight variation of the website Jocelyn worked for. I knew I would check it out and was fearful of what I might find. I was beginning to feel caught up in a typhoon and could not escape the wind and rain. I was beginning to feel like there was no end to this tunnel but knew I needed to end it soon or I would flip out and possibly kill someone. At least this is how I felt.

No, I'm not a violent person but I do have limits as to what I will tolerate.

"Bobby?"

"Yes Helen?"

"You aren't going to tell Gerald are you?" She was the first of the wives who sounded to be genuinely remorseful and concerned about how their marriage might fair if a significant other were to discover what they were really doing.

"Only if you promise to never go back to webcam work and to do everything in your power to make Gerald happy and I mean HAPPY. Do you understand my meaning?" I would keep my promise to her so long as she kept hers.

"Thank you Bobby. You have my promise . . . and Bobby, I know Jocelyn loves you dearly." How can someone other than my wife and I know we do or don't love one another?

"I just hope it is enough. Goodnight Helen." I removed Helen's name from the distribution list then sent another email to Jocelyn. It read:

Jocelyn, I've heard from many of the wives and have learned about the "other" webcam site where couples provide live sex performances. Were you going to tell me about this one? Did you perform there? I now need the names of the wives who are performing on this site as well. One way or the other I will know the truth. Bobby.

I'd been up most of the night reading email responses and taking phone calls from the women on the list Jocelyn gave me. I also received calls from a couple of women not on the list, women who feared exposure and had heard from those I'd contacted about my threats to expose them.

While Harold seemed to be on the up-and-up with the women he hired what he was doing had the potential to destroy many families and I believe my message to everyone who contacted me was consistent. "Take care of your family, especially if you love and value them!" The natural consequences, for Harold Carpenter, would be for him to end up recruiting his models from someplace else or go out of business. I didn't believe this would happen, there were just too many people "out there" who got their kicks from cyber-sex. I realized most of these people were lonely, had difficulty maintaining health relationships, had been hurt or discarded by someone they loved, or had developed an addiction to cyber-sex.

I did not hear from three of the wives on my distribution list and sat at my computer contemplating whether or not to send out notices to their husbands, as I threatened to do. Then I asked myself if I, as a faithful loving spouse, would want to know if my wife was exposing herself via some seedy wicked webcam site. I did not need to think long. Of course I would want to know and I would be especially angry if a friend knew and did not tell me, and I simply "stumbled" upon the image of someone I loved giving something to strangers (that I felt should have been given to me).

The humiliation of learning the truth in some vicarious way, other than by my wife, would acknowledge that the safety and security that comes from marriage wasn't there. Jocelyn might as well have spoken Romanian and been a resident of Sibiu (Romania).

It took me all of fifteen minutes to change my email distribution list to include everyone on the second list I received from Jocelyn. I then sent this message:

Did you know your wife (friend or companion) has been working evenings by exposing herself on an adult webcam site? She has been working for Harold Carpenter since you were laid off. I've attached to site address for you to check out for yourself. I am genuinely sorry to inform you in this manner. Bobby Combs.

I sent the email with a single, almost hesitant, tape of the send button. Only Helen Harcourt was left off of my email distribution list.