The Road To Watching

WARNING: If you have strong religious beliefs you might want to avoid reading this story. It is guaranteed to piss off almost every known religion.

*

What started me on the journey toward wanting to watch my wife with another man was an advertisement in a magazine. It was in "Argosy" a man's magazine that is no longer around. God, I don't even want to dwell on how long ago that was, but the memory of that ad still stands clear in my mind.

"Become an ordained minister. Start your own church and reap the spiritual benefits of bringing The Word to your congregation. You will also be eligible for the tax benefits that all religious organizations are entitled to.

For a limited time only the Chicago Archdiocese of The Church of The New Truth is accepting applications for the issuance of charters to establish our presence in areas were we currently have no ministries.

Send $10.00 to:

The Church of The New Truth

Office of Spiritual Enlightenment

Post Office Box 222

Chicago, Illinois

Act now while your area is still available."

Now it needs to be understood that I am a stone agnostic, but I got to thinking about what a kick it would be to be an ordained minister and have my own church. I knew it was a scam, but I thought that I could get a hundred dollars worth of fun out of my $10.00 application fee. And I did!

Six weeks after I mailed in my fee I received a packet in the mail. It contained a Certificate of Ordination; a wallet sized identification card that said I was a minister and a booklet telling me how to go about setting up my church; where to file the necessary papers with the local governments and most importantly - the things I could do to use my church to avoid paying taxes.

I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but as I read that booklet I saw that it was an open invitation to become a tax fraud case when the IRS got my return. It told me how to use my house as a church which would allow me to escape having to pay property taxes and how I could claim my personal vehicle and vehicle expenses as a deduction. The biggie was that I should give all my paycheck from my regular job to the church as tithing, claim it on Schedule A as cash contribution to the church and then turn around and have the church give it back to me as my wages for being the pastor of the church as those wages were taxed at a much lower rate. I could just see the IRS agent rubbing his hands with glee as he read that return. No, I would use my ordination for entertainment purposes only.

I started out by telling the guys I worked with that I had "found God" and was going to start my own church. I showed them my certificate of ordination and then asked them if they would like to join my church. They laughed, as I knew they would, and then one of them asked why, with so many established religions already out there, should they join my church.

"Because the established churches spread a false gospel" I said, "They all, every last one of them are steering you down the wrong path."

"How do you figure that?"

"They all preach against sin."

"Yeah, so?"

"It is all just so wrong! Let me ask you a couple of questions. Do you consider yourself a Christian?"

"Yes."

"Do you believe in Jesus?"

"I do."

"Do you accept that Christ died for your sins?"

"I suppose so."

"Then answer me this. If Christ died for your sins and you don't sin are you not saying that Christ died in vain?"

"What the hell are you saying?"

"The other churches are preaching against sin; my church preaches for it! The doctrine of my church is that we must -- MUST -- sin in order to validate the death of Christ!"

I got a loud "Amen brother: from Sam Taylor and Bennie Kotlarz took off his cap, put a quarter in it and passed it around as a collection plate and my ministry was off and running.

+++++++++++++++++++

Four the next several months the guys would come to me every Monday morning for confession. Sam Taylor started it. The first Monday following my "sermon" Sam came up to me and asked me where the confessional was. He caught me off guard with that and I said, "What?"

"A booth where I can confess my sins."

Suddenly I caught on and said, "No confessional booths in the Church of the New Truth Sam. Sins are not to be hidden away like someone's dirty laundry. Sins belong out in the light of day for every one to see. Sins are to be celebrated as an affirmation that our Lord did not waste his life. Tell us Sam; tell us about your sin."

"I was at Rooney's Pub Saturday night and Mary Ellen McFee was there. I bought her some drinks and danced with her and talked her into going out into the parking lot with me. She gave me a hell of a blow job and then took me home with her and fucked me on her living room couch while her husband was asleep in the next room."

"Where's the sin in that?" asked Eddie Catron.

"I drank the last six bottles of beer he had in the fridge."

"Oh you slimy bastard!"

From then on it was like the old radio show "Can You Top This." Every Monday the guys would come to work and confess to some sin or other and then it was a case of the first liar not having a chance. Bennie would always end the session by passing his hat as a collection plate and I actually ended up getting a return on my $10.00 investment. In four months the Church of the New Truth collected $11.36 in Bennie's hat.

Like most jokes the Church of the New Truth became stale and my certificate of ordination got pushed to the back of one of my drawers and was forgotten.

++++++++++++++++

Several years and two failed marriages later I was working for a job shop in a small town just outside of Detroit. My co-workers were a bunch of hard drinking party animals and most nights after work we would hit a bar just down the street from the shop. Things never got outrageous at the bar during the week because we all had to be at work the next day, but Friday nights were a different story.

There were a couple of manufacturing plants in the area and a lot of the office girls would stop at the bar after work. The place had a live band on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays and a decent sized dance floor so the office girls were never left alone by the guys (but then really, wasn't that what they came in for?). It was basically the same group in there every Friday and after a while everybody knew everybody else. There were enough 'transients' to keep the group lively and interesting, but there was always the "core" group and it hardly ever changed.

One Friday night I was sitting at a table with three of the guys I worked with and four girls from the wheel plant and the subject of religion came up. I had had several beers and was in a good mood and I dumped the Church of the New Truth and its philosophy on the table and got a bunch of laughs. And then Stella, one of the girls, asked me, "Are you really an ordained minister?" Even after all those years I still had the wallet sized card that said I was an ordained minister in the Church of the New Truth in my billfold and I took it out and handed it to Stella. She looked at it and said:

"Does this mean that you can perform marriages?"

"Of course" I said, even though I knew that in order to do so I needed to be registered with the State which I wasn't. The card was passed around the table and when it got back to me I put it away and forgot it.

+++++++++++++++++++++

The following Friday was Vern's birthday and so we celebrated it at the bar and by midnight no one was feeling any pain. Vern came up to me with Gloria, a girl who worked across the street in the real estate office and said:

"Rev, we want to get married."

Vern and Gloria were both 'blotto' and I was just far enough along myself to go along with the program. I said, "You need a ring." Vern called Candy, the barmaid, over and asked her to get him the pull ring from a beer can. Then I told him we needed two witnesses so he asked Candy to stick around for a minute and he called Bill Miglio over. By then we had drawn a crowd so I turned it into a big production. I went through the wedding ceremony, or as much of it as I could remember in my drunken state, and when I got to the part about if there was anyone who knew why the two shouldn't be married Ray Hendrickson yelled out:

"She promised me a blow job so she can't be married until I get it."

I said, "Vern, would you mind if she cheats on you from time to time?" and he said "Fuck no."

"There you have it Ray. She'll get to you sooner or later."

Vern slipped the pull tab on Gloria's finger and I pronounced them man and wife and to the cheers of everyone there the two of them left the bar and headed down the street to the motel to begin their honeymoon.

Wednesday night at the bar Vern and Gloria came up to me and Gloria said, "Rev, we need to get divorced. I kind of forgot that I'm already married."

"No problem. The Church of the New Truth does not believe that the State has any right to meddle in the personal lives of private citizens so the Church has its own ceremony for ending the relationships we help establish. How about it Vern, you want this divorce?"

"Hell no. She's just too good in bed."

"That shouldn't be a problem. You said she could cheat on you with Ray so she can just cheat on her husband with you."

"Works for me."

"How about you Gloria?"

"I can do that."

"Okay, face each other and hold both hands. Gloria, I want you to say, "I don't want to be married to you anymore so I divorce you" and then let go of Vern's right hand. Vern, when she has dropped your right hand you say the same thing and drop her right hand."

They both did it and then I said, "In the name of the Church of the New Truth I pronounce you divorced."

++++++++++++++++++++++

Vern and Gloria were just the start. The Friday following their divorce two other couples wanted to get married and every Friday after that there were two or three and all followed by the divorce ritual sometime during the following week. I typed up a marriage certificate to use in my weddings, but it had a feature that the wedding licenses issued by the State never had -- an expiration date!! The last line on the certificate said:

"This marriage valid for thirty days from the date affixed. At the end of thirty days the marriage is dissolved unless renewed by both parties or both parties choose to end it sooner."

I changed the divorce ritual to include tearing up the wedding certificate, dropping it on the floor and having both parties trample it. The fee was the same for the wedding and the divorce -- they had to buy me a beer.

The surprising thing about it all was that seven of the fake weddings that I performed over the two years I was doing them turned into legitimate marriages. The other thing that came out of it was a nick-name that stayed with me for the next ten years. That first night when Vern said, "Rev, we want to get married" he hung the tag "Rev" on me and it stayed with me long after I left the job shop.

+++++++++++++++++++

Anyway, all of this has just been the lead in to the event that made me want to be a wife watcher. It was a Friday night and the bar was getting ready to close. There were eight or nine of us sitting at three tables we had pushed together and none of us were ready to quit partying. Dan, the owner of the real estate office across the street said:

"Let take the party to my house."

There was a loud chorus of "Yeah, lets go" and we all left the bar and followed Dan home and went inside. I was right behind Dan when we walked in the front door and I hadn't taken two steps into the house when I heard a woman cry out:

"Oh God yes! Like that lover, like that. Fuck me hard baby, fuck me hard."

I looked over at Dan and he said, "Oh; that's just my wife taking care of one of her lovers."

I looked at him in disbelief and said, "Say what?"

"That's just my wife and a lover. She always has been a noisy fuck."

The failed marriages that I mentioned earlier? They had both failed because both of my exes had taken on a lover or two and when I found out I had wanted to kill them all so to hear Dan calmly say that the noise was just his wife fucking one of her lovers blew me away. He saw the look on my face and he shrugged.

"What can I say? She needs more sex than I can give her so I let her play around. She isn't supposed to be here. The guy she hooked up with tonight was supposed to take her to a motel. If I'd have known they were here I wouldn't have invited everyone over. We were trying to keep our arrangement a secret."

His wife had made only that one outburst and it was over by the time the rest of the group came in so they didn't hear anything. Dan led us down into his basement which had been finished as a recreation room. It had a pool table, an air hockey table and a bar along one wall. Everyone else had brought the party mood with them and things had picked up right where they had left off when we left the bar. I was off to the side sipping a beer, but my mind wasn't in the room. It was busy reliving the night I had caught my second wife with one of her lovers. Dan came up to me and asked me what was wrong.

"You were as ready to keep partying as anybody when we left the bar. Now you look like you're down in the dumps. Why the quick change?"

I'd had enough to drink to be open and so I told him about the memories that his wife had just triggered. I and four friends were on a three day fishing trip. We had driven up to the lake on a Friday morning, pitched the tents and then had taken our poles and gone to catch dinner. One hell of a storm hit about four in the afternoon and howling winds had blown down the tents and a driving rain had soaked everything. We decided to call it quits and we packed and headed for home. By the time we had reached my place we had decided that there was no reason for the weekend to be a total waste and we decided to play poker.

There was a car that I didn't recognize in the driveway, but I didn't think anything about it because Judy had told me she would probably have a couple of girlfriends over while I was gone. I knew as soon as I walked in the door that the car didn't belong to a girl friend. Girlfriends don't have cocks and what I heard as soon as I was in the door was:

"I love your cock baby, it feels so hard and so good."

I ran to the bedroom and as I came through the door I saw Judy with her legs up on a guys shoulders as he rammed his cock into her miserable cunt. Anger and rage were in control as I rushed toward the bed. The two of them were so wrapped up in what they were doing that they never saw me coming. I grabbed the bastard, pulled him off of Judy and threw him into the wall. His head hit hard and he was dazed as he slid down the wall. I hit him several more times, kicked him in the crotch a couple of times and then I turned back to the bed. Judy had pulled the sheet up over herself and was crying:

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Rage was still in charge as I went over to the bed and grabbed a handful of her hair and started to drag her off the bed. I don't know what I would have done to her had the other guys not pulled me away from her. Ernie told her she had better get some clothes on and get out of the house while the getting was good. I found out later that the guy was only one in a string of guys she played with when I wasn't around.

"Walking in your front door and hearing what I heard brought it all back."

"And because I didn't want to run into the bedroom and kill them you think that I'm some kind of weirdo. Is that it?"

I didn't say anything, but then I didn't have to because he knew.

"Our circumstances aren't the same. You caught yours cheating behind your back. I gave mine permission before she even took on her first lover."

"You gave her permission?"

"She was a virgin when we got married, but she took to sex like a new born baby duck takes to water. She went from virgin to nymphomaniac in the space of one night. We were having sex seven days a week, two and three times a night and she was turning me into a physical wreck. I could not keep up with her and she still wanted more. I finally had to tell her no. I told her once a night, three or four times a week and maybe twice on a Saturday or Sunday. A year went by and one night she told me that she was leaving me. She said she loved me too much to stab me in the back by cheating on me, but she needed more sex than I could give her. She was going to divorce me and try and find someone with the same sex drive she had. I loved her and I didn't want to lose her so I gave her permission to play around."

"That's it? Just let her play around and you both live happily ever after?"

"No, it was a lot harder than that. The first year damned near killed me. I'd told her to go ahead, but I wasn't near ready for the mental anguish that occurred when she started taking lovers. I won't go into it, but believe me when I say that it wasn't pretty, but I eventually came to terms with it. Then something happened that changed everything."

"What?"

"I saw her with one of her lovers. I found out that I get fired up watching her have sex. We went back to making love twice a night, four or five nights a week."

"You watch her?"

"Yes I do, and believe me when I say it is one hell of a turn on."

All I could do was stand there with disbelief written all over my face.

"You ever see two people having sex?"

"Just in porno movies."

"Hell man, that isn't real, that's just actors faking it. You need to see real people going at it for real. Come on, I'll show you what I mean."

I followed him upstairs and then down a hallway. I could hear moans and groans and a woman asking for it harder. Dan led me past the door to the room the noises were coming from it and into the room next to it. We went inside and he took a picture off the wall.

"It covers a see-thru mirror" he said as he took it down. I looked into the room and got another surprise.

"Gloria is your wife?"

"No one knows. They know that she is married, but they don't know it is to me. They think she just works in my office. I believe you know the guy with her. Or at least you have seen him before. You married the two of them earlier tonight."

I was looking through the glass at the two on the bed when Dan said, "Can you see the difference between porn movies and the real thing? No fake dialog that sounds phony when you hear it. No stupid sounding background music. Nothing fake in there! You don't see enthusiasm like that in porno movies either."

I stood next to him and watched as his wife did her best to destroy Harry and wondered why I had never taken a shot at Gloria. She had a lovely face and a super body and she had always let me know that she was available.

"One of the turn ons" Dan said, "Is seeing and learning things about her that you can't see when you are up close and making love. See how the toes of her right foot curl, but the toes on her left are straight? You would never see something like that while you were making love. Look how erotic her small hands look as she digs her nails into his ass. I know what the nails feel like, but I never had a clue that was she was doing could be such a turn on itself when you see it."

In the next room Gloria cried out, "No! Oh God please no, I'm almost there. Please, please don't stop" but apparently Harry was too close to hold it. "Damn it, no!" she cried and pushed him off of her. She quickly moved and sucked Harry's softening cock into her mouth while one of her hands went to her pussy and she worked on her clit while working on Harry's cock.

"I need to get back to my other guests. You want to stay here?"

I wanted to, but I would have been too embarrassed to let him know that yes, I did want to stay and watch his wife, Hell, what I wanted was to run into the room, pull her away from Harry and have her myself. I shook my head no in answer to his question and he hung the picture back up and we went back down to the basement rec room to join the others. Shortly after that I went home.