This story is inspired by the replacement of our deck back in '22 and the carpenter that did do the work with my help to some degree. The reality is that Mark had done some flirting in the form of teasing while we got the project done in 5 days with a weekend in there. As I said this is a fictional story inspired by the replacement.
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To start with, back in '15 I wanted to replace our deck. I had ignored it for the 4 years we had owned the house. It wasn't in great shape when we bought and honestly I wanted to tear it down then. Instead, her Highness decided I should paint it as her brother had done to theirs. So, Kristina picked out colors and I got 3 gallons of the paint for the decking and 1 gallon of white for the handrails. It took a couple weeks with cleaning the decking and hand rails between weather systems. The deck had to dry after cleaning before painting so it was a 5-day span to clean and paint just the decking. Then we hit a rainy patch and it was almost 2 weeks later when I could clean and paint the railing as they were far more labor intensive. I hated the job!
So now in the fall of '22, Kris decided we should replace the deck. She met a friend of a friend while out walking and learned that Stacy's husband was a carpenter. Kris said she wanted to do the deck but hadn't found anyone that would even call back about a price. Kris related to me that Stacy had something like 'that's a rather expensive project' which I had already expected.
So on the following Thursday evening Mark came over and we talked. Well, Mark did a lot of talking to Kris as I sat and listened until Kris looked at me and asked, "How does that sound to you honey?"
I looked at the sample that Mark had brought and asked about the grooves on each side. Mark informed me that this was the sample that would be held in place with clips to the joists. He said the composite decking we'd be using was actually top-screwed into place then a tapered wood-grain appearing plug would be tapped into place with a hammer. The screw holes would be blended in with the decking. We'd get a price on Monday or Tuesday.
We agreed to the price and the following Thursday I started demo of the old decking. I had my circular saw, saws-all, small sledge and 2 pry bars (larger & smaller) and got busy. I had all the hand rails down except along the steps and the upper perpendicular to bolster the step-rails. With a finicky right knee and poor balance due to arthritis pain med I'm on so I needed the step-rails until they had to go.
I was going like gang-busters and cut a section of decking so I could start prying up the boards. I got some up and it was quitting time as it was getting dark. I got something to eat then showered. Kris was around the house somewhere while I ate. I found her in bed watching some show on the DVR. She paused the show and asked, "How's the project going?"
I sighed and said, "I bet it would've gone better if you'd inspired me with a bit of a show walking around without a top on for a couple minutes anyway."
"Oh honey, it's too cold to do that."
"I'll raise the thermostat for a while."
"No you won't do that. The deck is pulling a lot of money and I wouldn't walk around that way anyway. We're getting too old for that kind of thing."
Kristina is 68, quickly approaching my favorite number, and I'd like to indulge in that kind of activity but my now 5' tall wife of 47+ years isn't really into that. Actually, she hadn't been into that for well over a decade. Ah well, hope springs eternal!
I spent Thursday removing the handrails and balisters. I was piling all of that along the back of the house from the Bilco door and heading toward the deck. I had most of it down by Thursday evening around 5.
Friday morning, Mark showed up around 11:30. A delivery of the decking had shown up around 11 and I was waiting for help to get the delivery into the back yard. We hadn't gone for a building permit since we weren't changing the footprint of the deck. We were improving the structure but not altering it. So we reasoned: no change, no permit needed.
We moved everything into the back but it took its toll on my knees. My right knee had been drained in August and both had gotten some WD-40 or something. My left knee, was feeling pretty bad by the end of the day. I was limping through the weekend. By Monday it wasn't so bad, I was limping just a bit.
Mark went inside to hit the bathroom and I went inside to get some water. I hear him talking to Kris about how relaxed she looks. I know she's lying in bed either watching the TV/DVR or reading. Kris says, "I hope Paul isn't getting in the way...he can be...annoying."
"No, he's actually helping quite a bit. I might be faster by myself but he's also learning some stuff as well."
"That's good. At least he isn't bothering me."
"Bothering you?"
"Nothing major, just his normal maleness."
"Normal maleness???"
"Yes, it's nothing new: comments, suggestions, more PDAs than I care for any more. I've heard it from so many men over the years. You haven't been the normal male though."
"Well Kris, I really haven't had the chance to spend much time with you..."
"But you haven't stared at my chest or said anything about my boobs."
I heard Mark chuckle, "Well I haven't had the chance because Paul has always been around so I wouldn't..."
"Is that the only reason why?"
"Well...I did notice but I didn't want to be rude or obnoxious and stare at what I saw."
"Thank you I appreciate that Mark. You really are a nice guy." She sounded just a little different. Then the shock hit me, "So would you be interested in seeing them or would that offend you or would it be a sin? I know you and Stacy are quite religious so I don't want to offend you..."
"Stacy converted from Baptist and like many converts she works doubly hard to be....Catholic. I've been Catholic all my life and I sin and confess. I'd be very interested in seeing whatever you're willing to show me but I need to get back outside soon or Paul will wonder." It was a few moments later I heard, "Oh geez Kris...OH they are magnificent....but I gotta go."
"Maybe we can figure something out for a bit of time together...."
"Mmm...they look so big and soft Kris...I wish I....I gotta go now."
I slipped into the laundry room and opened the door as I heard the screen door smack shut. I acted like I was coming into the house to go to the bathroom. I didn't see Kris as I used the main bathroom. When I came out Kris was waiting for me smiling and she said, "Hi honey, how's the deck coming along?"
"Good Kris, what are you up to?" She had her plaid fleece robe on and I wondered if she were naked underneath but I couldn't ask or figure out how to find out without letting her know I was suspicious.
"I was reading a book in the bedroom and trying to stay out of the way." I thought 'you certainly got in Mark's way, I bet he walked out half-hard and he was probably relieved not to see me.' I walked to the laundry room and through the garage.
Mark was working on getting the deck off the joists by cutting along one joist and using the board to leverage the screws out of the adjoining joist. It was fairly quick and efficient. Once we had half the deck stripped of the old boards we went to work putting joists between the existing joists. The original joists were set at 24" and the composite decking needed to be on 16" centers. So we added the extra joists to bring it to 12" on center, so much better. We set down the composite decking with joints at alternating locations. Since the deck is just about 10' from house to edge we cut the 1
st
16' board then centered it. Mark screwed it down and then we screwed the next 3' section after cutting off just enough to leave 1/2 of a joint for the seam. We cut the next piece and then we seamed another board then we did a full board then started the pattern in reverse.
The pattern continued until we got to the end with a full board to cover the ribbon joists of 2 boards. This was finished and we rolled the grill to the finished side then started ripping up the other half of the deck. We quit after ripping up the old decking.
Saturday and Sunday were quiet as I was recovering from the physical exertion of Thursday and Friday. My knees were sore and I was limping slightly. Monday morning I was up at 6 and pacing. Mark showed up a little after 10 and asked, "So what's Kris doing today?"
"I don't know, we hadn't discussed her plans for the day during breakfast."
We got started putting down the new decking. An hour later Mark went to the bathroom and I walked around through the garage. I started through the laundry room and heard Mark saying, "...how was your weekend?"
"Pretty good, although Paul was suffering a bit."
"I noticed him limping a bit, but how was YOUR weekend?"
A giggle from Kris, "What are you asking Markhew?"
"Just wondering if you had a good weekend or a great weekend." Kris watched Mark waggle his eyebrows and she understood his meaning. Kris didn't have to lower her gaze much to notice Mark's crotch. She saw the bulge was there and she wondered if he was aroused or if that was 'normal' size for him. The thought 'a shower or a grower' crossed her mind and she knew she had to learn the answer at some point in the not-too-dirtant future.