It was almost midnight when my husband's best friend, Josh, stumbled through the back door. I looked at the clock and shook my head. Why did he always stay out so late on a work night? No wonder it was so hard to wake him up in the morning. My good, sensible husband had gone to bed hours ago. I guess maybe I was glad Josh stayed up so late. The company was nice on the long sleepless nights that I, as an insomniac, suffered from so often. He had been living with us for a month now, and I don't think I'd seen him go to bed before 2 AM even once, no matter how early he had to get up in the morning. Not that I was surprised with all the stress he was going through with the divorce. The only reason he was even living with us is because his wife had gotten a restraining order on him so he couldn't go home to his own house. So here we both were, midnight on a Tuesday, neither one of us able to sleep.
Josh strolled into the living room where I sat writing, working on my book like I always did in the late, quiet hours of the night. I could tell he'd been drinking, if not by the half empty beer in his hand, then by the strong smell of alcohol wafting from his direction. He flopped down on the couch next to me and offered me a sip of beer, but I declined, never having cared for it much.
"Hey, 'sup, woman," he slurred. "Where's your man at?"
"Its midnight, he's in bed," I told him.
"So what are you up to?"
"Nothing much, just sittin' here by myself like usual," I replied, feeling a bit lonely and forlorn as I spoke.
"I'm gonna go downstairs and watch tv if you wanna come down and hang," he offered.
"Yeah, I'll be down in a minute," I told him.
I heard him wobble down the stairs to the basement, to the little family room with the pull out couch that he was using while he stayed with us. Saving the small amount of progress I had made that evening, I turned off my computer and followed him downstairs. He was sitting on the couch in the dark, only a small sliver of light from the basement stairwell spilling into the room. Sitting down beside him, we both sat there for a few minutes, the occasional slosh of liquid as he took a swig of his beer the only sound. Josh was never this quiet. He was the happy boisterous type, a big goofy grin constantly plastered across his face as he entertained everyone with the many tales of his drunken debaucheries. But tonight he seemed somber, introspective. It was so out of character for him that it had me worried.
"What's wrong?" I finally asked him.
"Nothin', just tired." He replied. "I need a vacation."
"What you need," I told him, "Is to skip a few nights of partying and get some sleep."
"Your probably right," he agreed with a laugh, "but we both know that ain't gonna happen."
I knew he was right, and we sat in silence for a little while more. He was so quite I had begun to think he'd fallen asleep. I started to get up and go back to work on my book, when he spoke again.
"I don't know if I've thanked you for letting me stay here," he said. "I really do appreciate it more then I can say. I feel guilty imposing on you guys like this."
"Josh, you've been Mike's best friend since high school," I told him. "You know our home is your home."
"Your a good friend," he said, putting his arm around my shoulder.
I allowed him to pull me over to him and rested my head on his chest. There was nothing unusual about us sitting like that together, his arm around me, my head resting on his chest or shoulder. We had been close, almost like brother and sister, for most of the six years that we'd known each other. We often got physical together. Wrestling, tickling, pushing and shoving, hugs and a quick kiss on the cheek were not uncommon. But tonight something seemed different. As we sat there together, in the quiet, in the dark, I was very aware of his heart beat beneath my cheek, strong and steady, if not a little fast. I could feel his chest rising and falling with each breath, feel his body heat penetrating through his shirt.
He suddenly seemed so human and vulnerable. I draped my arm across his waist and hugged him, wishing I could ease his pain. He rested his cheek on my forehead and sighed. He shifted his position a little, getting more comfortable, which caused the bottom of his sweatshirt to pull up from the waistband of his jeans. I realized my arm was no longer resting on fabric, but on bare skin instead. He seemed to take in a sharp breath as he became aware of the unexpected skin-on-skin contact. His belly felt soft and warm against my bare arm, and before I could stop myself, I found my fingers gently stroking his smooth skin, toying with the light scattering of hair that trailed down his abdomen and disappeared below his belt. He let out a soft moan and tightened his arm around my shoulder, his fingers digging into my upper arm.
"God, that feels good," he whispered so softly that at first I wasn't sure if he had really said anything.