I have said goodnight to the children and leaving them I am about to descend the stairs.
For a moment I hesitate. You are at the bottom of the stairs about to ascend.
You too have stopped, hesitating, waiting for me to come down. You are looking up at me.
Even at this distance I can see the look of love and desire in you're your dark chocolate brown eyes.
As you look at me I know what you can see; my thighs and perhaps my panties where the narrow filament passes over my place of your longing.
Strange that after ten years and two children you are just as shy as that time you took my virginity. Always you await some sign from me, and I love you for it.
Do you still hunger for me after all this time? Yes, I know you do; you have proved it so often.
I change my mind about going down stairs and say, "Darling, I'm going to take a shower and go to bed early."
You smile uncertainly and reply, "I'll just go and say goodnight to the children and then follow you in the shower."
In the shower I wash my genitals. As I touch them I remember that first time with you. We were so inexperienced, so innocent. I was afraid that you would not like my breasts. They were not big like some of the girls, but you said you liked their rounded firmness.
"Oh my dearest love, you have said that ever since and I love to hear it."
We were both frightened, yet we yearned for each other.
You were so gentle. Big, athletic, I thought you might be brutal, but you said, "I love you and I don't want to hurt you."
No my darling, you have never wanted to hurt me, but that first time I had to say to you, "If you love me as much as I love you, then some time you will have to hurt me; just do it quickly, darling."
You couldn't find the opening to my vagina then. I had to guide you until the head of your penis touched the lips of my inner labia. You gently moaned as you felt their soft warmth, but still you hesitated. Did you love me so much that you would even sacrifice the moment for fear of giving me pain?
Yes, I think you would have if I had not said to you, "When I say 'now', push in quickly and hard."
I took a deep breath and said "now." You thrust; I bit my lip to stop myself from crying out, but as the hot pain seared me my body recoiling. You stopped.
"Oh darling, have I hurt you badly?"
Yes you had, but I loved you so much I think I would have borne any pain for you.
You started to withdraw, but I put my hands behind your buttocks and pulled you towards me and said, "No...no...finish...I want you to."
It hurt, but you came so quickly it was soon over.
As you withdrew I could see on your penis the blood mingled with your sperm and my fluid and there was blood on the under sheet.
"Darling, I've hurt you...I didn't want to..."
I placed my hand over your mouth and whispered, "It's all right...it's all right...in two or three days I shall have healed."
It was three days later before you took me again. There was no pain that time and we loved each other joyfully. I wonder if you remember; I had my first orgasm with you then?
You have entered the bathroom while I am still showering. You are undressing.
I step from the shower and stand naked before you. I pretend I can't see your long, hard manhood standing up, firm and straight.
Oh my darling, my dear one, why do you desire me after all this time? Will you never tire of me; never get bored with the same woman; never weary of the same breasts and vagina?
How foolish of me to think like that because I have not tired of your body, your penis; but why?
I leave you to take your shower and go to our bedroom. I look at the bed we have shared all these years and recall how often the bedclothes have been in disarray, the sheet stained with our mingled fluids and the smell that follows our unions.
Why have I not tired of you? Because love came before the lust we had for each other. That love and lust join together as our bodies intertwine in that most precious affirmation of our love and caring for each other.
I know you want me and my clitoris is throbbing with desire, my vagina lubricating and nipples growing firm in anticipation of what is to come. But will it happen?
One of the joys, no matter how frustrating, is the uncertainty. Will you kiss me and say, "Goodnight my love," and then turn away and go to sleep; or will I?
Yes, it is the uncertainty, the hope and expectation that may or may not be fulfilled at the moment, but you know it will be tomorrow or the day after; the strange desire to be taken by surprise.
Ah yes, surprise! I smile as I remember the risks we have taken; like the times when the children have been playing in the garden and we have looked at each other and I have kissed you, and there, as I sat on the kitchen table, my legs open wide as you stood before me, and then...oh my dear one...my precious darling..."
Naked you have entered the room. I have been so caught up in my thoughts that I too am still naked. I reach into the drawer to get my nightdress, and then change my mind; my first signal.
I climb into the bed and you get in beside me. You wait for me to give you another sign.
Oh my love, why are you still so shy? After so many times still you waver; do you know how much I love you for that tender reticence?
For a few moments we lie apart, I move to you, letting you feel my breasts pressing again you. I kiss you softly, and you feel the moistness of my lips. Your hand touches my breast and you murmur, "I love you so much."
"I know you do, darling."
How gently you press my nipple, press – release – press – release.... Do you know what you are doing to me? The little shivering thrills that spear through me, flowing down to make me lubricate even more copiously.
