That night we waited for Cindy's car to turn the corner and pretty much sprinted to the bedroom, making a quick stop to confirm that Abhi was fast asleep. I had barely shut the door when Shama was out of her clothes and on the bed with her legs spread. As promised, I went down on her, and we had some passionate and intense sex. Shama was even more vocal than usual.
Finally after an hour or so of frenzied lovemaking, she was naked in my arms, playing with my chest hair.
"Our sex life has definitely kicked up a notch since the Jamaica trip." I casually said.
"Yeah." she said, slightly tensing up for a second before relaxing.
"Any connection to...you know, your exhibitionist tendencies?"
"I don't have exhibitionist tendencies!" she said vehemently.
"Come on, I didn't mean it as a bad thing. What we did today in the car. And then you told me you felt turned on by what happened at the pool."
She nodded.
"I am just wondering if it had something to do with Jamaica."
I left the question open-ended. Giving her a chance to come clean about that chance encounter. She took a different path.
"Well, walking around in a swimsuit out in the open, having sex on the secluded beach. It did definitely get me a bit intrigued. The India we grew up in didn't offer such opportunities."
"True."
"But that doesn't mean I have exhibitionist tendencies." she said frowning. "99% of them times, I want to keep my body to myself and to you."
"Hmmm." I said. "But if something happens once in a while, by accident, it turns you on?"
She nodded. I waited for a while, now that there was another opening for her to confess. But I got nothing. She had fallen asleep or was at least pretending to be asleep.
The topic pretty much fade away over the next week or so. We were both working late and had to focus on our son. The few times I did try to broach the subject, Shama didn't seem keen on discussing it and changed the subject. And I didn't push it, because we were still having regular sex.
But the topic kept playing on my mind. Finally one day we got some alone time together. Abhi was at a sleepover, and we were watching Netflix while having wine. On an impulse, I fetched my laptop and paused Netflix.
"I want to show you something." I said. I did consider showing her the videos of the two incidents she hadn't told me about. But it seemed a bit too soon. I wanted to ease her into it.
So instead, I went to a website that collected amateur flashing videos, like pizza dares, room service dares, towel drops, etc. She raised her eyebrows as she looked at the screen.
"Porn?" she laughed. "Aren't we a bit old to start watching porn together?"
"Just watch a few clips here. And then we can talk"
I opened some videos and handed her the laptop. And slid over as she watched them, looking at her face.
The first couple of videos were of wives getting topless for delivery guys. Very short, just casual flashes and giggling. Then a couple of videos of "accidental" towel drops while getting pizza delivery. Then videos of women opening the door naked, very obviously and consciously showing themselves off. Then a few hotel room service videos where the women were naked and the hotel staff came in and saw them. And then finally, a longer video where the woman, roughly our age, first did a towel drop. Then chatted with the guy naked. And finally gave him a handjob. I had chosen it as the last one precisely to prod Shama into a conversation tied to her own experience.
Watching them all took about fifteen minutes. Throughout, Shama's brow was tense, and her face wore no other expression. Her breathing did get slightly heavier though. But her eyes never left the screen.
"Okay." she said and finally looked at me, poker faced.
"Well?" I asked.
"Well?" she responded.
"What do you think?"
"What do I think? What do you think? Why are you showing me these? Do you want me to...do all this?" her voice was neutral. She didn't sound upset, but didn't sound enthusiastic either.
"Would you like to do any of it?" I carefully asked.
"Parth!" she finally raised her voice. "Enough with the question game! Just tell me what your point is."
What was my point exactly? I wasn't sure myself. Shama was the love of my life and I had been with her a decade and I still couldn't just honestly lay bare everything I had in my mind. Which, come to think of it, explained why she hadn't been fully honest with me either. But I didn't want to go there yet. I thought for a while deciding what would be the right thing to say.
"Do you remember that night after that party when you got topless and told me about the incident at the pool and how it turned you on?" I finally said when it seemed like her eyebrows might stay in that raised position forever.
"Of course."
"Since then, I have just been thinking about that stuff. And I have tried to talk to you about it."
"Yes, genius, I know!" she snorted. "You keep bringing that topic up. And I keep trying not to talk about it. I thought we have been together long enough for you to read my cues."
"Sorry, forget it. This was a bad idea." I took the laptop back and closed it.
"Don't get upset!"
"I'm not upset. I'm sorry I tried to push you into this." I really was. Not just about the conversation, but about everything since the Jamaica trip. I had a great happy life. Why was I trying to mess it up to pursue these unrealistic kinks?
Shama quietly looked at me as I put the laptop away and resumed Netflix. I was watching the show but noticed that she kept looking at me. This went on for a couple of minutes. Finally she reached over for the remote and hit pause.
