Set in Stone

This is a flash BTB story where the wife (off stage) gets her revenge. I write these when I feel a little bit mischievous.

I've done a little bit of research on this matter, and do not feel comfortable with the legality of it all. I asked several questions and got several different answers. I'm in Accounting, not Law.

So, for those of you that have questions, concerns,... let the reality of the legal system float for a little bit. This is not a serious piece so don't treat it as such.

By the way, my writing style for first person narrations includes sentence fragments, non-grammatically correct sentences,... This is my style. I'm not gonna change. If it bothers you, please don't read my stories.

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My secretary Darlene buzzed me 10 minutes ago when the visitors entered. It's important to let then wait a little.

"Darlene could you please sent in Mr. and Mrs. McCarthy and their lawyer, Ms. Stand. I'm ready to see them now." I turned to my daughter Jenny. She's been the lawyer on retainer, as well as general gopher for our cemetery since she graduated law school. Couldn't find a job she wanted after taking the Bar, and we did need the help.

"Dad?" I looked at her. Graduated with honors and the job market for newly minted lawyers that have passed the bar are almost non-existent. "I will be calling you Mr. Blair. You need to call me Mrs. Sulski, Mrs. Jennifer Sulski." I nodded yes.

"Are you ready Mrs. Sulski? Got your papers in order?" She nodded yes and stood as the McCarthys and Ms. Stand entered. I pointed to the table in my office for us all to sit at. Mr. McCarthy sneered at me. Mrs. McCarthy put on a brave face, but her fear showed through it. Their lawyer was clearly bored.

Even before he sat down, Mr. McCarthy pounded the desk and bellowed out "I want her god damn name chiseled off that tombstone NOW. I'm suing for libel. I'm gonna own your shoes before this is over. I'm..." His lawyer Ms. Stand broke in.

"What my client is requesting that the libelous etching on the tombstone needs to be altered. It defames my client and his wife. He will be able to prove damages and it could get very costly for the cemetery as well as you personally."

It's an interesting set of circumstances that brought these people into my office today. I'm part owner of a late 19th century cemetery in the Southern Chicago suburbs. Over 6 months ago, we were approached by Mrs. Brad Falcone. Her husband had just died in an auto accident leaving a work function. Initially, she was interested in only a minimal headstone and a plot in the back. It had not been a good marriage and as with all new young widows, she was a bit overwhelmed. She asked and we agreed to hold his coffin until she was ready to commit.

Mr. Brad Falcone died in a single car accident. He was drunk at twice the legal limit. The wife received quick settlements from the country club where the party was at as well as his company. His drinking happened during a company function. She also collected on his work life insurance and their personal life insurance. The house was put on the market immediately after she received the first settlement.

Mrs. Brad Falcone had become a wealthy woman without the albatross of a wayward husband around her neck.

A couple of weeks went on by and she returned with an unusual request. She wanted a rather large and imposing monument. She was spending over $80,000 and she wanted a plot where everyone would see it. The thing that was very different for this grand monument was the wording chiseled into the granite. I immediately cleared it with my daughter and even paid for second and third legal opinions. Everyone was in agreement. Contracts were signed and work immediately commenced. The monument was installed with no fanfare and Mrs. Brad Falcone left permanently for Colorado and a new life. Jen is her Power of Attorney for most matters in Illinois. I provide weekly updates to her by email.

The wording is the reason for the visit today.

Looking at these three people, I know that I'm going to enjoy this. Mr. McCarthy has thrown his weight around this area for a while. Thinks he owns or controls everybody or everything. Connections can get you far. Jen told me to let her take the lead. She might only be 5' 4", but her mother was a southern Italian, with an attitude. God rest her soul. Jen let me know that she's prepped with a native New York classmate on how to effectively handle this overbearing blowhard.

Jen looked at Ms. Stand. "Councilor, would you inform your client that loud outbursts are not called for. We are here to come to some form of agreement." Mr. McCarthy fumed, but remained silent. "We have several issues involved here. Let's take a look at them all.

"There is a counter suit currently being filed for slander on you Mr. McCarthy. You have defamed this cemetery and its employees and Mrs. Brad Falcone." Jen pulled out some papers and passed them to his lawyer. "This is a cease and desist order that was granted early this morning. It calls for you to no longer defame this cemetery or its workers or Mrs. Brad Falcone.

"The carvings incorporated in the tomb marker are also covered under free speech. In addition..."

Ms. Stand broke in. "May I remind you that slander is not free speech Mrs. Sulski." Mr. McCarthy broke into a big smile. "There is no right for slander to be chiseled in stone. Furthermore..."

"Ms. Stand, Mr. and Mrs. McCarthy, this cemetery would not allow anyone, including the wife of Mr. Brad Falcone to have a grave marker that would be slanderous. If you go ahead with your slander suit, then we would provide the evidence of fact to the court." Jen and I looked at Mrs. McCarthy. She started to tremble.

Mrs. McCarthy started tugging at her husband's arm. "Come on honey, let's go now. There's nothing that we can do..." as she stood up to leave. The light just went on in Mr. McCarthy. This boastful, commanding, take charge and take no prisoners man realized what happened. He looked at his wife in disbelief.

"Ms. Stand would you and your clients like to see some of the evidence? It appears that Mr. Brad Falcone liked to seduce women. He extensively recorded his sessions at his house when he wife was working at the hospital. The recordings were discovered after his death. Mrs. Brad Falcone felt that something was taken from her and she wanted to return the favor. The recordings have been authenticated by..."

Mr. McCarthy glared at his wife and everyone became quiet. "You fucking bitch, you..." Then Mrs. McCarthy snapped. She went from meek and mild to a roaring tiger in a moment. "YOU FUCKING LIAR." The loudness of her voice shut him down immediately. "You've been fucking every god damn secretary at the dealership for the 7 years of our marriage. You get home at night and you have nothing left for me. Falcone at least treated me like a woman, like I was somebody. The only thing that's been getting bigger has been your belly and your ego. This marriage has been over for years. You killed it. I took some solace with Falcone last year. You've had Charlene, Ruth, Nancy, and Liz. Have I left off anybody? A new one every 18 months. I've kept track.

"The only thing I did wrong was to take another woman's husband. My divorce papers have been drawn up. We live in a 50/50 state. Fight it and we both pay." She got up to leave. I could see the relief on her face.

Jen spoke up. "Wait Mrs. McCarthy, I think that you would like to see some of the other evidence. It appears that..."

At this point Mr. McCarthy got up to leave. "I'm done, I've had it..."

Jen broke back in, "It appears that you weren't the only one visiting Mr. Falcone." Mrs. McCarthy became riveted to Jen. The room went silent and the look of fear was now on Mr. McCarthy's face. Fear was a new experience to such a big and imposing salesman. Like a trapped rat, he looked left and right then immediately bolted to the door, leaving Ms. Stand and his wife behind.

With a nod from Mrs. McCarthy, Jen played the video on her laptop. The recording clearly showed him literally caught with his pants down in a MFM three way, sampling everybody. Mrs. McCarthy was shocked, and then she smiled. This was something to hang over his head. "There are other clips, but I think that you get the idea Mrs. McCarthy."

Ms. Stand got up and said that she would be in touch and quietly left the office. Mrs. McCarthy was now alone with us, crying into a tissue. I motioned to Jen and she put her hand on Mrs. McCarthy's shoulder for comfort. The soon to be ex-Mrs. Laura McCarthy sobbed openly for a few minutes on Jen's shoulder. I quietly excused myself.

It was over an hour later that the two of them exited my office. There was a look of hope on Mrs. Laura McCarthy's face and Jen's business card in her hand. Jennifer Sulski Esquire - Wills, Trusts, Divorces, Child Custody and DUI. Jen said that she was going to be giving Laura a ride to her sister's house and would be back afterward.

By 2:30, Jen and I were sitting in my office recapping the day.

"Dad, did you know she hadn't actually seen a lawyer for the divorce yet? Just like the other three that were going to sue. All of Falcone's targets were women where the men were playing the field. I take it Falcone figured that he wouldn't have such a hard time if there was a roving husband.

"This is turning out real well. My family and divorce practice is starting to pick up. I'm representing three wives. Right now, I referring the estate planning to my buddy Mark and he's been referring another couple to me this week."

"Jen, this is working out for me too. We've had more visitors than we've had in a long time. Even more than the ghost tours at Halloween. The peacefulness of the cemetery with some late 19th century graves has been our strong point. Did you know that the first mausoleum is stated to fill? Maybe next year, we'll have to build that second one."

I pulled out a bottle of wine and two glasses, filling them both. "Here's a toast to the new Harlot Memorial. Here lies Mr. Brad Falcone, an Unfaithful Husband. Surrounded for eternity by the names of his 11 married conquests, 8 women, 3 men - Set in Stone."