I grew up in a small farming community in northern Michigan. My husband Alan is originally from Pennsylvania. We met in college, and we married shortly after we both graduated. We're in our early fifties now, and we've been married for thirty-one years. Almost immediately after we were married, Alan's job took us to Atlanta, so we don't get back to Michigan very often.
A few years ago, I got an invitation to my 30th-anniversary high school class reunion. My dad had died a few years previously, and I thought the reunion, besides being fun all by itself, could provide us an opportunity to spend some time with my mom, so we made our plans, and went back to Michigan. We spent a couple weeks with Mom, and the reunion took up the last couple days of our visit.
Alan and I walked into the hall and chose a table to sit at. We stood there, surveying the room, and I found a few of my old school friends to chat with. It was shaping up to be a very enjoyable evening. When they announced that dinner would be served soon, we all found our way back to our tables, and when I took my seat next to Alan, there was Greg, sitting across the table from me.
Greg and I were sweethearts for a couple years in high school, so he was much more to me than just a youthful crush. Looking back, I really did love him; he was a great guy, and I always felt good, and well cared for, when I was with him. In those days, I always sort-of assumed that we would end up marrying each other, but it just never worked out that way. I wanted to go to college, and Greg didn't, so ultimately, we just kind-of drifted apart. Once I met Alan, I don't think I ever saw Greg again.
Until the reunion. As we talked, I found myself having these uncanny 'flashes of recognition', where he'd say something, or smile a certain way, that made me remember why I'd loved him, all those years ago. He was still the same great guy I remembered, and he and Alan seemed to hit it off with each other, too. I was a little saddened to learn that Greg had never married, and lived by himself on his parents' old farm, a mile or so out of town.
I excused myself to visit the ladies' room, and when I returned, Greg stood. Taking me by the hand, he nodded in Alan's direction, saying, "I have your husband's permission to ask if you would do me the honor of this next dance?"
I glanced quickly toward Alan, who nodded, and made a sweeping gesture toward the dance floor. "I would be honored," I replied, feeling a little giddy inside, though I couldn't say exactly why.
As we danced, I felt Greg's strong, muscular shoulders, even stronger from years of farming than they'd been when I'd last known him. His arm around my waist bespoke gentle, confident strength.
"It's good to see you again, Brenda," he said.
"You, too, Greg."
"You really look great. And your husband is a great guy. It seems you've had a good life."
"Yes, I believe I have."
"I am so glad. All I've ever hoped for you is that you've had a happy life."
"Thank you, Greg." For a moment, my mind wandered in thought. He would have every reason to resent me, the 'college girl', or to think that I thought I was better than he was, or somesuch, but he really, truly only wished me well.
And, lord help me, I couldn't help myself from recalling the days we spent together, and even wondering, just a little, what my life might have been like with him.
"How is it, Greg," I wondered, "that you've never married? I mean, you're a successful farmer, and a good man. Any woman should be happy to share her life with you."
Greg just laughed. "I'm flattered," he said, then continued, in a more thoughtful tone. "I can't really say why. I haven't found the right woman yet, I guess. Maybe," he said, with a wink, "I've just never found anyone like you."
In spite of myself, I blushed deeply; I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. When the dance ended, and Greg and I rejoined Alan at the table, I'm sure I was still flushed, and smiling more giddily than might have been entirely fitting for a woman married to someone else.
*****
Alan and I were in the car the next day, driving back to Georgia, reviewing the two weeks of our visit.
"You know, you've never mentioned Greg to me," Alan said, at one point. "Why not? You've told me about all your other old flames."
"Oh," I replied, "I didn't think it was that big a deal. Those other guys I told you about were guys I had sex with in college. Greg and I never had sex."
"Really?" Alan seemed surprised. "You were exclusive with each other for two years in high school. That's a pretty significant relationship. I saw you when you were dancing with him, and when you came back to the table, you were positively glowing. I'm wondering if you're really completely over him."
"Alan," I chided, "it's been thirty years since Greg and I were an item. And even if I once thought I would marry him, I didn't, and you and I have been happily married for twenty-five of those years. I'm as over him as I need to be."
But Alan still pressed me. "Are you? Or do you have regrets about him? You say you thought you would marry him, but you never had sex -- why not?