Panty Control - the Discovery

After 7 years of marriage our sex life had lost most of its luster. We'd tried a lot of different things to improve it, but nothing really took for either us. My husband is the best sex I've ever had, but lately I was needing other outlets. Porn sites and erotica were plentiful. The back of my panty drawer was almost overflowing with the many different sex toys I'd ordered online. I came to understand my sexual interests had changed. I wondered if my husband might be going through the same changes as me.

One morning my laptop had issues and I had to drop it off at Apple for repair. I planned to cook a special dinner that night and always hate reading recipes on my phone so I opened up my husband's laptop to find one. What I uncovered changed our marriage and relationship forever.

By accident I happened into a file where he had stored a lot of porn material. There were lots of downloaded clips, many weblinks to different sites and even a link to an erotic story site I'd been visiting with many stories highlighted. This only confirmed that my husband was having the same feelings as me.

There were a lot of different porn fetishes, but all with the same theme. In my explorations femdom was not really of interest to me. Mine leaned to hot wild sex with men that were different then my husband. We've always had a softer and loving sex life. My porn interests were focused on larger, manlier men then my husband. My best masturbation moments were when women were being taken roughly and controlled by their lovers.

His stored porn was focused almost entirely on a femdom theme. There were many fetishes I'd yet to uncover in my own explorations. I felt it was untrustworthy of me to be prying into his private life. The more I uncovered the more I came to wonder if any of this might help our sex life and marriage.

As I was reading one highlighted story I became more and more excited. By the end of the story my panties were wet with the prospect of possibly trying some of these. I made a decision that changed the course of our marriage forever and downloaded the file onto a flash drive to study later.

Over the course of the next few weeks I was reminded of my college years researching for classes. In a notebook I wrote down everything that seemed important to him. Cross-categorizing and doing deeper research on many of his fetish interests. I was surprised that the world of femdom was so varied. After 3 weeks I'd summed up all his main interests and highlighted the ones I felt comfortable trying, some that he hadn't been interested in also.

The hotwife/cuckold theme was a big one to him. But many others complimented this fetish. SPH (small penis humiliation) was a big surprise to me. The size of his penis has never been an issue for my sexual satisfaction. I had a few lovers before we were married, some were larger and some smaller. But I always thought my husband was perfect and his size was never something I focused on. It did click with me that most of the porn I'd been masturbating to recently had men with big meaty cocks though. I was surprised that he would get excited if he felt I thought he was inadequate. That's what SPH is all about.

Being denied sex with the wife was another interest. Once a hotwife starts taking on other lovers she becomes disinterested in having sex with her husband. And this theme is the basis for many other fetishes.

She no longer sees her husband as this alpha manly persona. Rather the beta type that's a lesser man than her lovers. Feminization comes into the scene when she decides to dress her husband to fit his role.

An active hotwife/cuckold lifestyle was not something I was interested in pursuing. Having sex outside my marriage with another man seemed a complication I felt we weren't ready for. But there were a number of roleplay opportunities that this fetish offers to make the point that I was no longer interested in his penis for my satisfaction. Visual shows of him witnessing me orgasming on dildos that are larger than his penis was the avenue I planned to take.

Goddess Worship also enters the scene. The wife's sexual satisfaction becomes the focus of the couple's sex life. Once porn entered my life I would masturbate at least twice a day. I was becoming hungry for sex once the varied kink outlets were available to me. I was going though vibe batteries so fast I was buying the kingsized packs. Goddess worship is about how the wife is in charge of her sexual pleasure. No longer needing her man to start or lead. A snap of her fingers and she can command her man between her thighs. My husband has never been the best at oral sex, but I knew once I had control of his actions and involvement that I would be able to train him to be great at it. I could see the future of me enjoying my porn with him being the vehicle for my pleasure from now on. That thought excited me.

Discipline was a mystery subject to me, even after a week of research. After all the research I discovered there are basically two types of men. They are either a true alpha or a true beta. Men develop their personalities young in life and lead their roles accordingly. Some men have submissive fantasies but that does not mean they are submissive. I felt my husband fit this model. The only time I ever spanked him was once on his birthday and that was just for play. I didn't know if I had what it took to actually follow through with the level of discipline that was required to break his alpha nature.

The fact that he had this type of porn in his collection meant to me he was looking for a woman with a strong personality that was willing to do what it took to break his alpha nature. To bend him to her will and earn her respect and control rights. I read that men must fear that his woman will go to those limits on occasion. Maintenance discipline sessions were sometimes a part of this to remind the alpha of his place. Pain and tears being a part of fetish. I didn't know if I was able to be this kind of woman.

Bisexuality was another interest of his that was a surprise. When I first saw it I thought maybe he was not the man I had married and it was time to get a divorce. But after a lot of research I leaned it was not what it appeared. The fetish is based on the fact that his bisexual encounters are forced upon him by his wife's wishes and desires. Her forcing him to have sexual activities with men, that he is opposed to doing, is another confirmation of her control and his position in the relationship. Some women will push their men beyond their limits to prove their leadership role.

The research showed that a minority of the men come to enjoy the homosexual acts, but the majority suffer through it to please their partners. Some men actually get excited when called humiliating names like cocksucker, cumslut and faggot. This type of language also helps to confirm the wife's role in the marriage. I knew I didn't have any sexual interests in seeing my husband with another man and I don't think he did either. His collection always involved the acts being directed and forced by the wives. Like cuckolding I felt we were too early to try real bisexual activity. Like cuckolding there are many roleplay options to practice this fetish without having to involve others.

The one thing I took away from all my research was that a reversal of roles was a necessary part of the femdom marriage. The more I learned, the more excited I was becoming. My husband has always had the lead in our relationship when it came to most all aspects of our marriage especially sex. I was growing anxious to try this alternative lifestyle the more I read. My masturbation sessions and the material I viewed were changing to exclusive femdom. I had explosive orgasms fantasizing of the possibilities.

I learned that some sex toys are necessary in the development of a femdom relationship. Dildos, vibes, strap-ons and chastity cages being the basics. Paddles, whips and hairbrushes also depending on the level of your discipline. I owned enough dildos and vibes to start my own sex shop, but I did decide to order a strap-on and a chastity device.

There was an upcoming holiday weekend and I felt it the perfect time to try this new lifestyle out. The strap-on arrived but the chastity device had a back order notice. Rather than wait until the next perfect weekend I remembered a story about a woman who used panties to control her husband's alpha tendencies and decided that might be a better way to ease into it.

My next story explains how panties changed our marriage roles.