In a way that Ed thought must prove that insanity was contagious, he had actually gone into Day One of his wife's meticulously planned infidelity with a positive attitude. Relatively positive. Okay, he hadn't had a sense of
complete
despair by that point, and that was for one big reason alone.
Their weekend
pre-game
had been, frankly, amazing. Michelle was passionate, caring, attentive, responsive, giving, energetic, adventurous... and Ed felt like he could do nothing more than hold on for dear life for nearly forty-eight hours straight. There was an actual moment when, after having forcibly engaged in a lot of denial, he wondered if her plan might not have some merit. Their sex had never been as good as on that weekend; not even during their honeymoon, he had to admit.
During the whole loony exchange he had with his wife about her
deal
, Ed knew that he hadn't wanted to fuck Katja, that was the honest truth, and he instinctively knew that he wouldn't be, despite Michelle's promises, but if he could endure her affair for a mere four weeks... and could force himself to believe her reassurances that the whole thing was purely academic... the fruits were potentially very, very sweet.
So Monday came and went with him blissfully ignorant of anything about that morning's session at the Novaks'. Hell, Michelle had even seemed reluctant about her plans when he'd said goodbye before leaving, which had sparked an ember of hope in Ed that his wife wasn't completely lost. The whole week too, she was the same, warm, happy partner he had known since forever... then he came home early that first Friday, and reality bitch-slapped him until its hand was blood-red.
It hadn't even been that he heard the love of his life shout that he was a
willow...
it was the shout itself. The shout, the
scream
, and every guttural, animalistic noise that came with it. Zenith weekend or no zenith weekend, he'd never forced sounds like that from Michelle.
After that, he was done. It was done.
They
were done. There was no coming back. He could never be with Michelle again without knowing, despite anything she said, that she would always yearn for something else that he wasn't giving her. The death of trust, the loss of confidence... that would kill any intimacy they could have forever.
It finally got through his delusional skull that the Michelle Lawrence that he'd joined his life to was essentially gone, and the elegy had been screeched out of Dominik Fucking Novak's bedroom window.
Even knowing how desperately he would always love her, Ed began making his peace with the fact that his marriage, his life, was over, and all that was left was to get the paperwork in order. That Friday was busy for him; the realtor, then the park to center himself and gather his resolve... then the research into good divorce attorneys. The activity focused him, and when, that night, Michelle had tried to tempt him into bed, he was able to rebuff her.
When he'd closed the guestroom door on her misery-laden pleas, he realized that the cost of his strength was merely his heart. It was a small price... what use did he have for it anymore anyways?
__________
Another Monday morning.
Ed tossed some bread to the ducks in the pond a few feet from the park bench that was quickly becoming his favorite place in the world.
I hope she's taking good notes. Been years since she's been in school, after all
. His bitter laugh was louder than he meant it to be.
"Did they say something funny? I never knew that American waterfowl were so evolved."
The voice was light and amused. It didn't fit with the way the world really was, and Ed became annoyed, but he stowed the urge to lash out. In the end, he knew it wasn't her fault. Not the biggest part, at least.
"If I remember right, it got leaked a while ago that comedian ducks are part of a secret CIA program to subsidize the grain industry." He turned and tried to force a smile. What he produced was close enough, he guessed. "I mean, how can you
not
keep feeding the little buggers when they've worked so hard on their act?"
Katja Novak barked out a laugh as her brows raised in delight. "Where I grew up, we knew that your CIA was nefarious, but apparently we had no real idea."
Without asking, she took a seat next to Ed on the bench, and when he gave a brief look at her, he wished he hadn't. The sundress she wore--pink and white floral print, with a swooping, cleavage-exposing neck and tight against her toned core and rippling rump--was breathtaking.
She
was breathtaking, and he was absolutely sure that, even if she was in a goddamned potato sack, Katja Novak would draw every eye for a mile.
Just what I need, another beautiful woman to fuck with my head.
"Well, maybe not just your head."