Chapter 16 – Decision Time
Scott remembered the words of Lucretius, another Roman poets and philosophers.
'Then, if the lady is goodhearted and void of malice, it is up to you in your turn to accept unpleasant facts and make allowance for human imperfection.'
Had Mary's acts been driven by vicious or vindictive motives he would have dealt with the matter in a completely different way. What was certain was that Mary knew that what she did was 'unacceptable' otherwise she wouldn't have had to hide it. But in some aspects Mary was still a kid at heart. She hasn't gown up and never assumed her full role as a responsible adult. She was just like a kid in front of a cookie jar, unable to resist temptations. She lied like a kid, with a hand stuck in the cookie jar, the head shaking, and the mouth whispering 'I didn't do it'.
He had himself to blame as well. He should have been less blinded by the light of love. He should have been more aware of her nature when they met, before they marry, or at least earlier in their marriage. He should have been more alert to the signs of change, not dismiss them lightly.
Scott spent a lot of time reflecting upon whether Mary was goodhearted and void of malice and how much allowance he should make for her human imperfection. The way she led her life was incompatible with his moral principles and definitely not how a spouse is expected to behave. He already decided that divorce was the only outcome. There was no allowance to be made there.
What he had to determine is the degree of retribution. Her cheating put aside, and until very recently, he thought she had given him fifteen very happy years as a wife, friend, and lover. She was a good mother, she never neglected looking after her family, and she was compassionate towards others. Yes, they had a few good years, but he was blind-sided during all of them.
Should he consider her as goodhearted? Were her acts void of malice? No matter how he turned the questions in his mind the answers were always 'No'. She wasn't goodhearted and she was certainly full of malice.
The retribution had to be proportional to the rubble of his love.
* * *
Scott had to seek legal assistance. He wanted three things to happen: a simple divorce, a simpler financial arrangement, and the custody of his son. All he had to do is figure out how to obtain all three.
The divorce part was going to be the easiest one, he will instruct a lawyer to file under 'irreconcilable differences' which would hide Mary's cheating from her family and friends. That was the carrot; the stick is filing for 'adultery' should Mary or her lawyer decide to push him around. Although Florida was a 'no fault' state, adultery was considered by the courts as a factor to be taken into consideration when determining custody and the amount of alimony. Scott didn't want to go that far, but it's like weapons, good to have them even if one never use them.
The financial arrangement would also be simple, Scott didn't want to pay alimony or have her keep the house. He had a plan for both. How their remaining assets would be split he really didn't give a damn. Mary could keep it all for all he cared, but not enjoy it long. His plan involved some deception but this was a minor pay-back for what Mary did.
The custody of Dean was going to be the harder issue. Scott didn't want to lose his son or have limited access because Mary's acts put him in this situation. The thing is that Mary, her lawyer, and the judge will most likely not see it his way. The judge will not consider who Dean wants to be with either. Mary will certainly not relinquish custody. He may be forced into accepting a temporary outcome of joint custody then 'make it happen'. It will be long but if he played his cards right he was certain he can make it happen.
Scott went to see a lawyer the next day. He heard that Joseph T. Willingham was a good lawyer but it didn't matter really. All that mattered to him was that the lawyer knew how to fill and process the right forms. He had to hide his plan from everyone, including his lawyer.
He instructed Jo Willingham to agree with Mary's lawyer on the terms of the divorce and the inevitable financial arrangements. He told him to write down whatever he thought was fair and send the offer to Mary's lawyer, once she hired one. Scott's only condition was that the house had to be sold. He was confident that Mary would agree to that as she may eventually consider returning to California anyway. Scott also wanted to stay in the house until it was sold. He wanted to stay close to Dean. Mary would agree to that as well.
* * *
On his way to the office, Scott thought about what he told his lawyer regarding the reason for staying in the house until it was sold.
Scott's reasons were way different. He wanted of course to be close to Dean and enjoy his son's company as often as possible. He didn't want his son to visit in a hotel room or an impersonal temporary accommodations. The end of the school term was nearing anyway and it was important to give Dean as normal an environment as possible, until then. He also didn't want to commit to a lease on a new rental, he had other plans. If one of them had to leave it had to be Mary, but he didn't want that either. He wanted to divert her thoughts from the impact of the divorce and how it will affect her future life. Moving to a hotel would have given her a taste of loneliness and she may have been tempted to contest and delay the divorce.
That evening Scott had a long talk with Mary. He informed her that he intended to proceed with the divorce and that he had already instructed his lawyer to prepare the paperwork. He gave Mary the name of his lawyer and suggested she gets her own lawyer. He told her that he will cover the costs of both.
Mary made another attempt at talking him out of divorcing her and working on their marriage, maybe even attending counseling. Still, she offered no excuses for what she did. Scott noticed that she didn't even bother to put in the 'but I still love you' line. One more time, he was absolutely dumbfounded. It was as if they were talking about repairing a flat tire on her car.
"Just think of what that would do to Dean." Mary pleaded.
"Did you think about the effect on Dean when you were having your affairs?"
They discussed and argued this one for a while.
"Do you really want to write off fifteen years of marriage? Weren't they good years for both of us?" Mary threw in her last argument.
"You wrote them off with your first affair,"Scott retorted, his anger rising, "My only regret is that I didn't find out about it at the time. You also imagined that once ignorant, always ignorant. You couldn't stop having affairs but, as always, these things are bound to be discovered. An they were! It took fifteen years but they were. So yes, I lived fifteen happy years in ignorant bliss imagining that I had a perfect life. You lived fifteen years basking in the knowledge that you were able to cheat and get away with it. What you did destroyed all the goodness in our marriage. I can tell that you still have no idea how much damage you have caused, to my life, to the life of others, and even to your own. You killed something in me that was extremely valuable and that cannot be repaired, brought back, or acquired again. You killed my trust in you as a wife and as a friend. Your lack of respect took away my dignity as a loving husband. I cannot live with what you made me. You ruined our marriage and deprived Dean the opportunity ..."
Scott suddenly stopped talking. From the look in her eyes Scott realized that, no matter what he said and how much he explained, Mary will never truly accept the impact of what she did to their couple and to others. She must think of her affairs as simply something a bored wife did to keep her busy or entertained. Her cheating was in a way a hobby or a weakness, she either enjoyed it or couldn't resist it. Somehow she didn't consider it as part of her marriage. The only way she could understand the impact of what she did would be to become herself the victim, the one cheated on by someone she was in love with. Maybe!
Scott cut the rest of the argument short and went to his office. From that night on, the guest bedroom became his bedroom. It wasn't to avoid having sex with Mary, they haven't been intimate since he discovered about her affairs. It was his way of marking another calculated step towards the end of their marriage.
A couple of days later Mary was served while Scott was at work. He worked late and had a meal delivered to his office. When he went home Mary didn't say much nor did he. He spent his evening in his office then in his bedroom. Scott checked the calls that were made and received that day and detected a flurry of calls to Don and to Fiona and to a number he didn't recognize but found out later that it was that of a lawyer. He wondered whether Don or Fiona recommended her.
The next day he contacted a real estate agent and listed their house for the appraised market value.
That weekend Scott took Dean sailing. He used to sail every possible weekend or holiday in California, before marrying Mary. Mary joined him on a couple of occasions but she complained of sea sickness and boredom. What she liked was lazing on a beach on a sunny day. Scott sailed less after they married and even lesser after Dean was born. he continued to sail occasionally after they moved to Florida, but these occasions were rare and far between. He sailed with a couple of friends then joined a sailing club and participated in the occasional regatta. Unlike Mary, Dean loved sailing, he was passionate and an active crew member. That created new bonds between the two of them.
Now that the decision to divorce Mary was taken, Scott made it a point to go sailing with Dean at least half a day every weekend. They talked about boats, navigation, sails, tacks, and tactics most of the time they spent together. Scott started hinting that if he had time he would have loved to sail the islands and maybe even cross the Atlantic to Europe. Dean warmed up to these ideas and was so enthusiastic about them that he included himself as a crew member and described what he would do on those long journeys.
* * *
A couple of weeks later Scott was sitting at the conference table in his lawyer's office to review the terms of the divorce and the settlement.
