Since the electronics age, the definition of cheating has been somewhat blurred. When I was growing up you physically had to put the meat to someone or have the meat put to you in order for it to be called cheating. There has always been flirting but now it's all out there. Texting, sexting, e-mails and sending pictures through your phone is the new question mark. Sending a racy picture through your phone and telling him what you want to do to him is only ok if you don't get caught. I don't even want to think about what my wife would do if she picked up my phone and saw that. Even if it was a damn joke, I'd have a whole lot of explaining to do. I think a lot of it is due to the fact that it's in your face twenty-four/seven and the phrase; 'it was only sex' is heard more often than not. In my book, if you're doing something with another person you wouldn't dare do in front of your spouse it constitutes cheating; well for me anyway.
When I found out about it I was hot but my wife told me to stay out of it.
"Ruth, it's wrong and if it was happening to me, I'd sure as hell want to know."
"Well, it's not, and it's none of our business what Kristy does in her marriage."
"For Christ's sakes, Tim's my friend and if he finds out that I knew about it he's going to be pissed at me for not telling him."
"Steve, you're not supposed to know anything about it remember? If you wouldn't have overheard the two of us, you'd still be in the dark. Sometimes it's better to be dumb and stupid. I don't condone what she's doing, but it's her marriage not ours; so stay out of it." That was easier said than done.
We have lived in this neighborhood for almost eleven years. Tim, Kristy and their three kids moved in across the street about five years ago. We weren't close the first couple of years until our girls started taking dance classes at the same studio. They were only a year apart and were in the same classes. We saw each other at the studio, fundraisers and every time there was a dance recital. Since Kristy and Ruth were dance moms, and spent many hours at the studio waiting for the girls, they became pretty good friends after the first year, which dragged Tim and I together. It started off as just watching and picking up each other's kids, then family bar-be-cues and finally the four of us hanging out and going out to dinner. They were a fun couple and I thought we'd made life long friends, until I found out about Kristy's little secret.
"Steve, I need you to pick up the girls after class tonight," my wife yelled at me from the kitchen while I watching the basketball game.
"Do I have to? It's going into the fourth and it's close as hell."
"You have a choice, you can either pick up the girls or give Susie a bath and help Gary with his English homework." I guess I could catch the rest of the game on the car radio.
I was listening to the game when the girls came out giggling and talking a mile a minute. I was still listening to the end of the game when I pulled up at Tim and Kristy's house. It was just about over when Tim came out.
"You know they're down by ten with just two minutes to go. There is not a chance in hell they're going to pull it off," he said with his head in my window. He was right.
"They just can't hold onto the lead, I don't know what's wrong with them," I said in disgust.
"Steve, you got a minute? There is something I want to talk to you about, in private," he said looking at my daughter in the back seat.
"Honey, why don't you go inside and see the girls, we should be done shortly," I told her turning off the car and getting out.
"Steve, let go in the garage and have a beer, that is if you're not in a big rush."
"Lead on brother, I'm not going to pass up a cold one, especially after a loss like that."
With a beer in hand I asked him what was on his mind.
"Steve, you're a good friend and I've got a problem that's eating me up. If I don't tell someone I'm going to burst."
"Hey good buddy, you can tell me anything. What did you do, miss your anniversary?"
"It's a lot more complicated than that," he said now looking at the ground. "I cheated on Kristy." Do you know what it feels like when beer comes out though your nose? You cough, snort and do your best to take in a dry breath of air.
Still trying to recover I said, "You did what?" rather too loudly.
"Steve, keep your voice down," he said in a voice just above a whisper. "I don't want Kristy to hear us."
I asked all the pertinent questions like who, what, why and are you fucking nuts?
Kristy has been tied up with dance and a bunch of other things for the last six months. Every time I had the urge to do you know what, she always had an excuse why we couldn't get together. Shit Steve, we'd only done it three times in the last six weeks and I was so fucking horny that I did something stupid. I was out of town last week and stopped into the hotel bar after having dinner by myself. She was alone, I was alone and we started talking. I didn't plan for it to happen, it just did. She wasn't anything like Kristy and even though I felt like I kind of deserved it, after being shut out for so long, I now feel like shit. In all the years I've been married I've never even so much as looked at another woman. Now I don't know if I should come clean and tell her, or just try and live with it?"
"Jesus Christ, why me?" I asked myself looking to the heavens. "Tim, if you don't want to end your marriage, keep it a secret and forget about it. You can't undo the damage and all you're going to do is lose her trust in you. Treat her like a queen and promise yourself you'll never stray again and live with it, anyway, that's what I would do."
What I really wanted to tell him was to walk up to Kristy and say, "I know about you fucking around on me and I've decided to get a little payback before I toss you to the curb," but I didn't, I wasn't suppose to know, remember.
"I suppose you're right the more I think about it," he said, and his spirits started to lift.
"Just tell Kristy you two need to reconnect and that you don't like where your sex life has been going lately. You've got to be firm with these women and tell them what you want, or in your case, need. Maybe she doesn't even realize she's been neglecting you. If you'd been getting it on a regular basis would you have strayed?"
"Steve, you know, you're right. If I hadn't put up with it all this time I wouldn't have been like a dog in heat. I never would have picked that woman up. I know it's my fault, but not entirely. Damn Steve, am I glad I talked to you."
"Well, I'm glad I could help. But if you will excuse me, I've got to get my ass in gear and get home."
He kept thanking me all the way back to my car. I left him with a smile on his face and there was no way in hell I was going to tell Ruth about our little discussion. I hoped Tim could reclaim his wife and put this all behind him; I would hate like hell to see the two of them break up. Well, it was their problem not mine, thank God.
Two weeks later they were at our house for a Sunday afternoon bar-be-cue. The two teenage girls discussed dancing and boys while the younger kids played video games in the den. The women were in the kitchen preparing food and Tim and I were grilling and having a few cold ones.
"Steve, I took your advice and have taken charge over the last few weeks. We had one argument about it, but I now won't take no for an answer anymore. I've been trying to interject some spice back into our love life and I think it's working. Well, it must be, I'm getting double the sex I was before, and I can't thank you enough."
"Like I said, you have got to show them who's boss," I said talking out my ass. Hell, if I'd try that with Ruth, she'd kick my butt and send me back to my mother. Well, Ruth wasn't cheating on me like Kristy was doing to him. I felt that if he gave her everything and more, she wouldn't have the inclination or much less the time to cheat on him anymore.
Dinner was good and everyone seemed to be having a great time. More than once Tim would reach over and kiss his wife or give her an innocent grab; they looked like they were in love again.
"Did you see the way Tim was all over Kristy tonight? If you'd done that to me in public I'd have decked you where you sat."
"I guess he's just trying to reconnect with his wife; you know he loves her to death don't you?"
"Love is one thing, mauling is a whole other animal," she said to me.
"Well, if she hadn't been giving it away to someone other than Tim maybe he wouldn't have to try and catch back up," I retaliated back giving Ruth a shot across her bow. "And no, I didn't tell him if that's what you're thinking," I continued on when she gave me that questioning look.
"Well, Kristy says now he's all over her day and night and won't take no for an answer at night, even when she's bone tired. He wants to shower with her all the time and even brought home four different types of massage oil. She said Tim's wearing her out."
"Well, I guess she doesn't have the time for any outside hanky panky anymore then?" I said gloatingly and kind of proud of myself. When she looked at me and didn't respond I got mad all over again. "You've got to be shitting me? She's still fucking around on him even though he's giving her all she can handle? I don't believe it."
"It's not just about the sex, it's an emotional bond between the two of them."
"Has she lost her fucking mind? Why doesn't Kristy just tell him she wants a divorce and be done with it? This way she can screw whomever she wants and Tim can find someone who isn't a cheating whore."
"That's a little rough wouldn't you say?"
"Rough? If Tim knew what I knew, she would already have been kicked to the curb and papers filed. You're either married or you're not, you can't be both," I said still agitated. "What do you tell her? Do you tell her what she's doing is all wrong?" I said waiting on Ruth's reply. "Holy fuck! You didn't did you? You're in it with her, I can't believe it."
"Steve, keep your voice down, the kids will hear. I just listen and don't judge, that's all."
"So in other words, you don't see anything wrong with what she's doing?"
"I didn't say that, but I kind of understand how she feels at times." This was now taking on a whole different scenario.
"What do you mean you can relate to her? This I've got to hear," I said grabbing another beer. "Tell me how you can relate to a damn cheater?"
"I didn't say I approve of her methods, only that you can form a bond with another person of the opposite sex without it going to the next level."
"Ruth, she, or should I say they, took it to the next level. Whether it's physical or emotional cheating is cheating. And who in the hell have you developed an emotional bond with?" I asked.
"It's not a bond, it's just a guy at work who was going through a rough patch and we talk a lot, that's all."
"Who are you, Doctor Ruth? Who else are you bonding with, and how long has this been going on?"
"You're making it sound dirty. We just talk to one another."
"Do you talk about us?"
"Sometimes," she replied cautiously.
"Ruth, what about us? Please tell me it's not about our sex life." She was now fidgeting. "Jesus Christ I don't fucking believe this. You're discussing our life with a damn stranger?"
