Hello again, for the last time, my dear readers. Yes, this is to be my last confession, my final report to you about my sexual frolics, my secret adventures. I have thought long and hard and I have come to a decision. After several years of indecision, of letting my passions and my desires overwhelm my reason, I have finally made up my mind what to do.
I managed to have a lot of sex in the last few months and I will tell you all about it. These "confessions" have always been good for me and I know many of you enjoy it too. But I have a little explanation to give you first - so please bear with me if you want the full story.
Let me say at the outset I do not regret anything that happened over these past three years. Some of you have disapproved of my actions and others have cheered me on. For my part, I am glad I did what I did. I am glad I am who I am. I decided some time ago that life is too short. A woman like me should not be denied, or make the mistake of denying herself, the sort of experiences and pleasures I have enjoyed. I would only have regrets if I had not experienced everything that has happened to me. Instead I am safe from such concerns.
In case you have begun at the end, let me say honestly that I was an adulterer, a cheating wife. Happily I embraced the life of a slut and a whore. I let numerous men take me to bed -- men I was not married to and some that I hardly knew. I lusted after men with big muscles and big penises and I enjoyed spreading my legs for them. More, I pursued some of those men, young and old, and did my best to make sure they would want to screw me. I was screwed indoors and outdoors, in my workplace and in my marital bed -- and more besides. Gentle, suburban married sex was no longer enough to keep me satisfied. I found that I love sucking their penises and swallowing their cum. I love them taking control of me in bed. I discovered new pleasures like anal sex and even allowing two men to have sex with me at the same time. Oh my Β¬- so many sins.
To make it worse, I lied and cheated in order to fulfill my sexual needs. I took risks with the people I love. No - I do not regret even that aspect. I had a secret lifestyle and I behaved in a wicked, debauched fashion for three years. While on my pursuits I did not have to be self-controlled or "proper" or be what people expected of me. The experiences I had, sexual and personal, and most of all the freedom I discovered in being a slut and a whore, made it all the better.
Having said all that, things had to change and they did change. I changed them. I have finally forced myself to accept that this could not go on. After more than three years of being like that, it was time for me to make a change and to move on. It was time to try to return to the "normal" life of a quiet wife and mother.
What happened? To put it simply, I have taken stock of my life and my choices.
In truth, it was time for me to face reality. First of all, I had taken so many risks and I had to consider the danger I was putting myself in. Those risks were both physical and emotional. For one thing, my husband suspected me and I was feeling ever more fearful that I was going to cause him tremendous hurt. That was very difficult to deal with. I will never know what would have happened if he had confronted me. Finally I decided that I truly did not want to find out. What was before me was a choice -- either accept the love between my husband and I or face losing control not of my lust but my life.
Second, I have had the most wonderful luck but I felt sure it could not last. I had the chance to explore my fantasies and turn them into reality. I liberated myself and, in doing so, experienced everything I imagined -- and so much more. I have been desired and pursued by handsome, virile men just as I dreamed of. I know I could have still more of that - but is that enough to keep me on this path? What if my luck does turn? I know I am better being in control of that ending.
Also, I have to face the fact that my outpouring of lust in the last few years has been linked to my sexual peak. That is something else I know won't last forever. That is a fact. I could try to prolong my lifestyle for as long as my libido holds up but I don't think I need to.
My sex life at home, with my loving husband, is better than ever. Thanks to my experiences as an adulterer I have so much more knowledge and confidence when it comes to my sexual needs. For a start, I have discovered how much I love to suck his penis and swallow his cum. I always enjoyed his penis and, even though now I've had much bigger, its a very good size for me. It is strange now to think that for most of our married life blowjobs were something I did only occasionally. I swallowed his load maybe once or twice a year. Now I never feel embarrassed to show my desire to him and to ask for sex or offer a blowjob. I get to swallow his seed whenever I want it -- and I can promise you that I want it a lot! I like the taste and I like the noises he makes when he ejaculates in my mouth. I am happy being a cock slut for my hubby and to give that special pleasure to him. And I can also say that somehow it feels even better to swallow the same stuff I know produced life for our two kids.
We still watch porn together and it has improved our sex life as well since we try different things in bed now. Its still more "making love" than fucking - he doesn't pound me or pull my hair or force my mouth onto his penis. But I have always been content to feel his love when we are being intimate.
After watching porn we also sometimes discuss little fantasy "scenarios" while we are having sex. I can say I never knew some of the things that my husband enjoys when it comes to sex. Its not wild stuff -- more like new locations he'd like to have sex or the idea of having me naked on a secluded beach. I like it and now that we're both becoming a little more "liberated" I have introduced hubby to our first shared sex toy. He is very sweet and gentle when he uses it on me.
I have decided I will ask him about anal sex one day soon. I will suggest that we try it and I hope he will want to. I hear that some men don't like the idea of their penises getting "dirty". But I will ask him anyway and we will take things slowly.
However, you will see shortly that I have started this last of my confessions at the end. I wanted you to know I do not feel sad about my decision. I wanted you to know my life is fine and I expect it will stay just that way. I hope you will understand that.