I Guess We're Falling Out

Author's note: A lot of stories in Loving Wives have husbands who don't do anything to stop the wife from cheating. This story is not like those. This is just a quickie. No sex, no burning. Just a wife doing things wives shouldn't do.

***

I just finished doing our taxes, well up to the point where I have to put in my wife's hobby, I mean business info. I told her I'd be doing the taxes soon and needed her income, expenses, blah, blah, blah.

When I was done as far as I could go, I reminded her that I needed it and our taxes were waiting on her stuff to be done. Now, you have to understand one thing about my wife. If I remind her about anything, she gets angry. Irrationally angry. As if who was I to dare remind her about something. She knew and I was at her whim whether it would be done or not.

So, after three weeks of waiting, I grabbed her laptop and looked to see if she at least had some sort of spreadsheet or software in which to keep records. Of course, she didn't but her messenger app was open. Now, I could have been a good husband and put it back where I found it, but I was aggravated with her so I decided to see if I could get any gossip on her friends. I didn't expect to find messages from one of her coworkers trying to convince her to meet him for sex.

I read back to the beginning and found that for over a month he was working her pretty hard. She was lapping up his attention and encouraging him to an extent by not shutting him down. Every exchange I read pissed me off more, so after reading the last message where she told him his dirty talk made her wet, I messaged him the following.

"Fuck it. Let's do it. Get a room at the Motel Six and I'll meet you there at 3."

I hit send and was about to get ready for clobberin' time, but I panicked. If she had the app on her phone, she'd get a notification of his response. I ran upstairs and sighed a deep breath when I saw her taking a nap.

Her phone was on the table, so I grabbed it, held it in front of her face to open it, and rushed into the kitchen. I opened the app so there'd be no notification and saw he responded.

"Finally!!! You're not gonna be able to walk when I'm done with you."

Obviously, it was a real romantic shit head I was dealing with there. I deleted the recent messages off the phone, then off the computer and called my friend Axel.

"Hey, Johnnie, what's going on?"

"Axel, I need you to meet me at the Motel Six at quarter to three."

"Hey, man. I like you and all, but I'm not gonna be a bottom."

"Funny. Listen, one of Claire's coworkers is trying to get in her pants and I'm going to stomp the dirt bag."

"Cool. See you soon."

I laughed at his acceptance. That was why I called him. He was my neighbor growing up and we did all kinds of crazy shit. He was a brawler, while I was the talker. I could sweet talk my way out of any situation, but Axel could beat the snot out of anyone.

His given name was Donald, but he didn't think it sounded tough enough. He picked Axel after looking at a list of car parts. He wasn't the brightest bulb, as evidenced by his spelling it wrong, but he was one of my most loyal friends. Perfect for what I needed that afternoon.

I took her phone with me in case he messaged her and left her to her nap. I'd have it out with her later.

I pulled into the motel's parking lot and saw Axel's truck. It suddenly occurred to me that I had no idea what the guy looked like, but that was solved when he walked out with his phone at his ear. Her phone rang on the seat of my car, and I had him.

I fist bumped Axel and walked over to follow the guy to the room.

"That's the bastard," he asked.

"Yep," I answered.

"How are we doing this?"

"I figured to hit him a couple times and tell him to stay the fuck away from her."

"Got it. No murder."

We laughed and caught up to him as he opened the door. It was just closing when Axel kicked it open, and I ran in surprising the butt munch.

"What the..." was all the guy got out before my fist connected with his jaw. Fuck, it hurt, and I knew I broke a finger.

Axel pushed by and kicked him in the nuts. He got him pretty good, as he didn't move from the ground. Axel picked him up and threw him on the bed.

"Hey, dickhead!" Axel shouted, and then he bitch slapped him.

"What do you guys want? Take my wallet, here."

"Shut up, Asshole!" I shouted and faked a punch making him flinch.

"You think it's okay to fuck a married woman?" I shouted.

"Oh, shit! You're her fucking husband? I'm gonna have your ass in jail until you're sixty, you stupid fuck!"

Axel smiled and pulled a set of brass knuckles out of his pocket. Shit head scurried back as far as he could and put his hands out.

"Okay, I'm sorry. If you leave now, I won't say a word to the cops. Just go, okay? I won't talk to your wife again."

I shook my head. Axel smiled and cracked his knuckles.

"What? What else do you want?" I saw the piss darken the front of his jeans.

I laughed through my pain and said, "Look at that. He pissed his pants."

Axel laughed and said, "Dude, I was gonna punch his dick. Now it's all wet."

"Aw, man. Do you see what you did? You ruined my friend's fun. How are you going to make it up to him?" I asked.

"I'm sorry. Look, what do you want?" he groaned.

I looked at Axel, "Vengeance?"

He nodded, "Vengeance."

"Oh, shit!" the dirt bag moaned.

"Take off your clothes," Axel said.

"What? No, I..."

Axel slipped the brass knuckles on his fingers. The shit head started taking his clothes off comically quickly.

He stood naked before us, and we laughed at his small dick.

"Seriously? You were gonna fuck my wife with that?"

I looked at Axel and he shook his head.

"Okay, Asshole. Out."

"What? Out where? You want me to leave naked?"

Axel and I nodded in unison. It wasn't the first time we exacted vengeance on someone.

"Fuck!" he shouted and moved towards the door. Axel followed him and I grabbed his wallet and keys.

"Walk home, dirt bag."

"Come on," he moaned.

Axel punched the door and dented it. The pussy ran off leaving us laughing.

"How's your hand, Dummy?" He asked.

"Fuck, Dude. It hurts like hell." I looked at it and it was swelling. "I think I busted a knuckle or something."

"Come on, Pussy. I'll keep you company at the Emergency Room."

The X-Ray showed it wasn't broken, but it was dislocated and had to be pushed back into place. The shot for the local anesthetic hurt like hell, but I was out of there in a couple of hours with my finger in a splint.

I think the lecture from the doctor was more excruciating than when I threw the punch. He called me an idiot a couple of times and told me grown men don't fight. I nodded agreement to shut him up and walked out of there satisfied. I only hoped the asshole left my wife alone.

I walked in the house and Meg was up and pissed.

"Have you seen my phone? I can't find it anywhere. I..."

I tossed the phone to her and walked into the kitchen to grab a beer. I just listened to her tirade about why I had the phone and chugged the beer down in one pull. I interrupted her rant with a belch and opened another beer.

I kept ignoring her and walked into the living room and put on the golf tournament highlights. I didn't know what it was about golf commercials, but I always felt like I needed to buy new clubs. I mean, I could watch any other commercials and not want to buy whatever crap they where hawking, but golf clubs must have been my kryptonite.

"Asshole!" she shouted. "Are you going to tell me what the hell happened to your hand and why you had my phone all day?"

I sighed and pointed to the TV. "Tiger's talking. Will you can it for a minute? Jeez."

"Fuck Tiger Woods!" she shouted.

I paused the TV and turned towards her. "Tell me about, Waylon Burns."

"Waylon Burns? He's just some schmuck at work," she groaned.

I shook my head. "Let me see if I can quote you. 'Oh, Waylon. You make me so wet when you talk like that.' Well, that's pretty close anyway."

"You looked through my phone! You're an asshole."

I held up my splinted middle finger and nodded. "Yeah. I guess I am that."

"Oh, Johnnie, you stupid Ass. What did you do?"

"I dealt with good old Waylon. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do with you yet."

Just as she was about to say something, the doorbell rang.

"Hold that thought," I said and made my way to the door.

I opened it and saw two of our local boys in blue. One of them was my friend Jimmy, and the other was a guy I knew from my bowling league.

"Hey, fellas. Come on in."

They followed me into the house, and Jimmy said, "John, we're sorry, but we're here on official business. Hi, Meg."

I sat and took a sip of my beer. "Sit down, guys. You know I'm not gonna fight with ya."

They sat, and Jimmy continued, "John, we picked up a naked man running down seventh street a while ago. Name was Waylon Burns. Do you know him?"

I shrugged and said, "No, I don't know him necessarily. I met him once though." I smirked at my wife while she watched the exchange in shock.

"He says you and another guy beat him up and made him go home from the Motel Six naked."

I laughed and said, "You know me, Jimmy. I'm a lover, not a fighter."

He snickered, and said, "Yeah. Tell me what happened to your hand."

"Oh, this? I tripped on the damn garden hose and dislocated my finger trying to break my fall. Right, Honey?"

She looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Yeah, I left the hose out and the clumsy ass tripped right over it."

"Any idea why he might blame you for his, um, predicament then?" the other officer asked. I thought his name was Kevin, but I couldn't remember it and felt bad about that.

Meg spoke up, "He's been sexually harassing me for about a month, Jimmy. I think he might be trying to get Johnnie away from me."

Jimmy nodded. "Did you know about that, John?"

I shook my head and glared at Meg. "No, but me and Meg are about to have a talk about her keeping secrets from me."

Jimmy looked at his partner and said, "Well, it seems to be he said/he said right now. If someone investigates this and finds something linking you to the, um, situation, we'll have to take you in. Know what I mean?"

I nodded and stood. I shook both of their hands with my good hand and said, "I hope you find the guy that did it, Jimmy."

He smirked at me and said, "Yeah, the trouble is we're so overworked and understaffed it may go as unsolved. Bigger fish to fry, ya know?"

I patted his back and said, "I hear ya. Give Jill a kiss and tell your boys I want revenge for that HORSE butt kicking they gave me on the 4th of July."

"Sure thing. You just keep your nose cleaner, please."

I nodded and closed my door as they walked to their cruiser.

"Jesus, Johnnie. You're lucky you're friends with most of the guys on the force."

I shrugged and walked back to the TV to finish Tiger's interview. Our town was small and had less than 5,000 people depending on whether you looked at the latest census or the signs at the town borders. I did know most if not all of the policemen and women. We all grew up together, or I was friends with their brothers, sisters, or cousins. Hell, I probably saved one or two of their asses when we were kids, and their mouths wrote checks their asses couldn't cash. Like I said, I could talk my way out of pretty much anything.

I grabbed the clicker and was about to unpause it when the doorbell rang again.

"Jeez, Louise. It's like Grand Central Station in here today."

I opened the door and Axel pushed his way in with a case of Molson Ice.

"Shit better be cold, Dude. I just opened my last one," I said.

"I don't buy warm beer, Cuck. You know me better than that."

I wanted to hit him for calling me a cuck, but I knew better. He was the only man that could get away with busting my balls like that. Not because I was afraid to fight him, which I was, but because I knew he was just trying to get a rise out of me. Besides, my middle finger on my punching hand was in a splint.

He put the beer in the fridge, and I wondered what leftovers he pulled out to fit it in there. Meg was sure to be pissed. Fuck her. He came back into the room, glared at a stunned Meg, and handed me a bottle.

"Who were the pigs that were driving away as I pulled in?" he asked.

"Jimmy and I think Kevin."

"Oh? How are Jill and the kids?"

"Don't know. He grilled me about our fun this afternoon though."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Well, if you're still sitting here, we must be okay," he smirked.

I nodded. "We're good as long as the motel doesn't have any cameras."

"I didn't see any."

"Me either."

He looked at Meg and frowned. "So, you're looking for some extra cock, huh? Your buddy was about half the size of your old man. You should pick better next time."

"I'm not looking for cock," she shouted. We laughed and she ran from the room.

"What are you gonna do about her?" he asked. I had filled him in on the whole story in the ER waiting room. He told me to either kick her out or make her greet me at the door every day with a blowjob. I liked the latter option better.

"Oh, shit! Tiger's on," he said. "Unpause it, Dummy."

I laughed and said, "No problem."

Tiger was ten minutes into dodging the are you coming back or are you retiring questions when Meg walked back into the room.

"Meg, could you grab me another beer, babe?" Axel asked as he shook his empty bottle. Meg was about to tell him where to shove his bottle when she saw the brass knuckles he was modeling on his fingers.

She groaned. "You guys are dumber than a bag of fucking hammers."

He looked at me and said, "These are brand new. I really wanted to give them a test run on that pussy today."

"Put 'em away, Hoss. She's not impressed," I smirked.

"I was just making a point," he sighed as he put them in his pocket. "She needs to know we ain't gonna put up with her cheating."

"She didn't technically cheat," I said knowing it was weak.

"Not yet, Cuck. Not yet. Just don't tell me when you start slurping cum out of her pussy. I'll have to put you down."

"I hope you do if that ever happened."

We could joke all we wanted but I had no idea what I was going to do about her, and Axel being there was just delaying the inevitable fight I knew was coming.

After a few beers, he stood and said, "Okay, Brother. I can tell you need me out of here so you can talk to the skank."

I stood and he saw my anger.

"Step back, Cuck. She's a skank until she proves otherwise and you ain't that far yet. If you need me or my couch, you know where to find me."

I bro hugged him, and he was out the door. It was good to have friends. Whether they were assholes or not.

I grabbed a lovely sirloin steak out of the freezer and an ear of corn out of the fridge. Did you know that Alton Brown has an amazing way of cooking a frozen sirloin steak? YouTube it. It's fantastic.

After cooking the brick in my cast iron skillet, I sat to eat and wondered where Meg was.

I had just cut into the delicious cow flesh when Meg walked into the kitchen.

"Where's mine?" she asked quietly.

"Freezer," I answered and moaned in delight when the meat touched my tongue.

She sighed and sat down next to me. "I never had sex with him."

"I know," I replied with a mouthful.

"You didn't have to beat him up."

"I hit him once. That's not beating him up."

"Why are you being an asshole over nothing?"

I slammed my fork down which caused her to jump. "Nothing? That's what you think of what you were doing? Okay, let's see what you think of me doing the same."

I picked my phone up and called Meg's sister. Her sister was younger, cuter, and bi-sexual. She teased me mercilessly, knowing I was 100% faithful to my darling wife. It was sadistic fun for her to give me views up her skirt, or down her shirt, she even nibbled my ear on the dancefloor at a wedding once. All to mess with me.

"Hey, Carla. Listen, could you talk dirty to me for a few minutes? I want to get hard and rub one out."

"You son-of-a-bitch! Give me that," Meg screamed.

She snatched the phone out of my hand and put it to her ear. I guess her sister was talking dirty because she proceeded to chew her out. I laughed.

Meg was so upset; spit was running down her chin as she stared me down and breathed heavily.

"What are you so pissed about? I wasn't about to fuck her," I shrugged. "Seems like you're being an asshole over nothing."

"It's not the same. You did it on purpose."

I laughed and took a bite of steak. "So, because you let someone talk dirty to you and you got turned on by accident, which makes it okay? Do you believe the nonsense you're spewing, or do you just think I'm an idiot?"

"I didn't let him do anything!" she shouted.

"Yeah? Okay. Show me the communication where you told him to stop because it's inappropriate for married women to have conversations like that."

"I told him over the phone," she sighed.

"Yeah? That message was from last night. When did you talk to him? It wasn't today."

"I don't know. I guess I meant I was going to tell him."

"Quit lying while you're behind. I'm this close to kicking you out of the house and you're not helping your case. You need to convince me why I shouldn't throw you out on your ass and divorce you. I'll give you an hour to think about it. I don't want to ruin my dinner."

I guess she knew I was serious, she turned and walked out of the kitchen. Silly thing about no win situations, no one can tell you which is the right one and I had no idea what I was going to do.

I finished my dinner, grabbed another beer, and realized how late it was. With all of the action of the day, it flew by and was nearing time for me to hit the hay.

I walked into the living room and didn't see Meg, so I plopped down on the couch and flipped on the news. While some blonde hottie was telling me about truckers blocking roads, Meg walked in.

"John?"

Ooh, I knew she was being serious. She never called me John.

I looked at her and said nothing.

"John...er, Johnnie, I don't know what to do, baby. I swear I never cheated, and I would never have cheated. I guess I just got excited by someone being interested in me and didn't stop his attention."

"You see there, Meg? How can I ever know you weren't going to fall to his charms eventually?"

She sat down and was crying. All of her indignant anger from earlier was gone. "Baby, you have to believe me. I know you don't trust me but believe me. I've never lied to you."

"I don't even know that for sure. How do I know you haven't had an affair before, and this is just the latest asshole?"

She moved to the floor in front of me, knelt, and placed her head on my lap.

"I'm so sorry, tell me how to fix this. I'll do anything."

I laughed.

"I'm glad you find it funny," she groaned. "I'm dying here."

"Well, Axel gave me an idea that I liked for you making it up to me. As for getting my trust back, fucked if I know. I tell you what. Remove the locks from your phone, give me all your passwords, and let me look at your accounts for a while. Maybe, that'll help if there's nothing else there."

She slid up and hugged me. "You'll see, there's no other men there."

Then she frowned.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, you'll see that I tell my friends things you may not be happy about. I'm sorry, but I have to vent to someone when you piss me off. You'll see I call you asshole sometimes. But you'll also see how much I tell my friends I love you."

"Fair enough. Lord knows I bitch about you to my friends enough."

We kissed a bit, then she said, "Honey, what did Axel suggest I do to make it up to you?"

I smiled. "Come on, upstairs. You can get started on it right away."