Kat:
With the crunch of the fall activities over and my work schedule settling down, I found myself training the new employee, Sondra, on how I wanted to receive the files from her. One of the first things that I noticed about Sondra was the slightly off-kilter way that she presented herself. Although she dressed professionally, there was something different about her that I couldn't quite put my finger on. Often she wore vividly colored suit jackets with plain skirts, and you could see she had very large breasts protruding out from that petite frame of hers. She was a few years older than me and had never married. Her skin was Mediterranean looking, much like my husband, with dark brown hair cut just below her ears and large, highly expressive eyes.
We began having lunch together and found out we had a lot of things in common including being vegetarians. We became friends and she became curious about my obviously unusual marital situation. I began sharing what was going on with my husband's efforts as well as with other lovers I had located thru the Internet. It was through these discussions that I found out that she hadn't been with a man sexually in many, many years. Apparently, her fear of diseases, jerks and being used had pushed her towards a celibate life. One Thursday morning she began pumping me for information on various types of dating sites. The next day she came in and told me that she had registered on one of the "straight" online dating sites and that she already had a date for that very night. I was amazed and couldn't believe that she had progressed that far in only one night. I felt like I had mentored her well indeed.
Sondra proudly showed me some of the IM conversations that led up to the proposed meeting with "Roger" including some of the lines each of them had lavished on the other. It wasn't long before the conversation had turned from the basics of him wanting to "nibble on her ear lobe" to "tearing off her clothing and unleashing those voluptuous melons" then "slipping his foot long hot dog between them and spew his gooey love juice to the tip of her tongue." Next she opened up the private pictures that he allowed her to access and my jaw dropped considerably as this huge piece of manhood dangled between his legs. I must admit that I was surprised at what he was packing and tried to imagine how she could get so lucky the first time. Again I looked back to his face, and couldn't imagine its owner slinging that piece of meat around.
We made plans to meet for lunch and pick up a few things for the date that evening, as she wanted my opinion. The first place Sondra drove us to was a small boutique called "Twice As Nice". I must admit I didn't know what to expect as we entered. Somehow I doubted that my vision of two men fucking customer's silly in the dressing room would be reality. It turned out to be a thrift store that she shopped at often, and we headed straight for the lingerie section. Her eye caught several intriguing pieces in black with lace, Lycra spandex and a few boas', which she quickly ran to try on. After a few hearty smirks came a very naughty laugh as she flung open the dressing room door awaiting my approval. I felt an instant tremor of shock on my face as I raised my fingers up to my mouth and uttered "Oh My Gosh! That's so unbelievable."
She twirled herself around and said, "I'll take it."
Now, I never thought of myself as a prude but this was obviously originally purchased at a Quadruple X store for some very kinky sex. It reminded me of Cat Woman with zippers and grommet fasteners placed strategically on the tight fitting costume. "Now all you need is a whip," I said sarcastically as we headed to the liquor store for several bottles of rum and coke, and then next door for a fruit and cheese platter with crackers. Even in the tiny tote bag that Sondra was lugging the outfit around in, the kinky nature of the clothes were obvious for anyone in the liquor store to see. It's amazing we got out of there without a few more propositions.
"Think I can score tonight with all these accoutrements?" Sondra smirked. Actually, I was beginning to have more than a little fear for the poor, unsuspecting guy than I was worried about Sondra's chances at this point.
"I doubt you'll need it, but I will wish you good luck anyway tonight. Is he taking you to a movie, to dinner or what?"
"Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of getting a few drinks into him at Blue Martini's and then dragging him back to my place and raping him." And I don't think she was kidding me in the least.
Since I wouldn't see her again till Monday morning, I had a long weekend to ponder her fortunes while trying to figure out how to push my own fortunes forward a bit. But first, I had my daughter's Halloween party to plan. Not that the Cat Woman costume had got me to thinking or anything, but my daughter was not interested in a kinky party so much as a loud bit of hip hop fun.
Monday arrived and I don't know who was more anxious to talk about the weekend, Sondra or I. But with Sondra's mouth, that was a short battle.
"How did it go, little miss hottie?"
"The evening was kind of like the old videos of the Hindenburg. The drinks went well and he was as anxious as I was to get back to my place. I don't know if it was all the candles I lit, the incense or the warped way the VCR porno tape was playing but things just went quickly downhill. First off, I changed into the Cat Woman garb. He really seemed to get a kick out of it but I didn't see the expected bulge, if you know what I mean. So I decided to do a little bump and grind for him, you know, an old fashioned lap-dance?"
"I think I still remember what that is, thank you very much," I rejoined.
"That was when I got my first surprise. Whoever's close up picture he had sent me certainly wasn't a Roger original. Whatever was causing that rather small lump in his pants was not the mean old tiger snake that I had seen in the photo. This was more like a gecko. Of course, I did require deeper inspection so I did some unzipping. Even hard, this thing wasn't big enough to even justify a blowjob. No way I was gonna let that little thing be my first close encounter in 5 years; Roger and out."
While I was now laughing uncontrollably, she remain pretty stern faced and serious. She had obviously been sorely disappointed at her first dip in the internet-dating pool. I didn't know whether to distract her or encourage her, since my first advice seemed to have gone awry.
