Diary of a Faithful Wife

Author's note: Here's a little present for the Real Men who hang out in the Loving Husbands section. Think of it as a sort of apology for the dreadful story ("Bad Husband") I posted here last week, which offended so many of you. Tags: Faithfulness, Adultery, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Lesbian Sex, Group Sex, BDSM, Urine, Toys.

*****

Dearest Husband,

Before you went off to work this morning, you said, "If I ever find out another man's cock has been in that cunt of yours, slut, I'll fucking kill you." My heart swelled with love for you, thinking about how you cared so much about me that you'd kill to make sure I stayed faithful. Pondering your great love for me, I resolved to keep this diary of an ordinary day in my life, have it bound in Naugahyde, and present it to you - not only as a token of my love, but also to prove that I would never, ever be unfaithful to you.

8:00 am

I kissed little Erp, shooed him onto the school bus, and hurried home to meet Max the plumber, who, you remember, was supposed to replace the washer in the kitchen faucet.

Max said, "Not many people call a plumber to do this, Mrs. Kramden. For most folks it's a do-it-yourself job."

I don't blame you, dear, for not doing this kind of thing yourself. I know how busy you are, how little time you have for household chores. There are so many good things on TV, and your beer is so important to you. I'd never think to complain, but I've resolved to keep an honest diary, so I have to write down what Max said.

As Max crawled under the sink to turn off the water, I looked at his butt and had the thought that it wasn't as beautiful a butt as my husband's, not nearly so fleshy and ample as the one I love so well.

He finished his work with the faucet and said, "That'll be fifty dollars, Mrs. Kramden." I made a sad face, and he sighed and said, "Don't have it again?"

I don't blame you, dear. Anyone could call his boss a fucking dickhead asshole cunt and lose a good job at the gas station. And of course I understand the economy's not good. I'm just grateful Wal-Mart was hiring and not looking too closely at references.

"Can I give you the usual, Max?" I said.

"Always a pleasure, Mrs. Kramden," Max said, and dropped his trousers.

Max has a lovely cock - not as nice as yours, dear, but thick and upturned, like a banana, and uncircumcised. I went to my knees in front of him, slid the foreskin back, and popped that big banana into my mouth. Max took my head in his hands and thrust deep into me, fucking my throat. "Oh, yeah, Mrs. Kramden," he sighed between pants, "You're such a good cocksucker."

I couldn't answer right then, of course, but I thought to myself how grateful I was to you for making me learn to deep throat. I spent so many days practicing - to please you, and to stop throwing up around your cock when you fucked my face! And those days of hard work have certainly paid off with Max: all our plumbing services have been free for the last two years.

Max came in my mouth, and I swallowed his cum. It was almost as fatty-tasting as yours: I guess he eats a mostly red-meat diet, the way you do.

9:15 am

Betty, who lives in the next trailer over, dropped in to drink a cup of coffee and complain about her husband, who'd given her a black eye again because she'd stayed out too long at bingo.

I said, "Betty, you should be grateful you have a man who cares enough about you to give you a good whack when you get out of line." And I told her all about the way you beat me whenever I do something wrong, like burn the potatoes or take too long to bring you a beer, and I told her how I love you for it.

Betty said, "Alice, you're an inspiration," and petted my hand. I was a little hot from sucking off Max, and I leaned over the table and kissed her on the lips, and she said, "Oh, honey, I love it when you do that."

I hauled Betty to the bedroom and stripped her. She's got a lovely body, even if she is a hundred pounds overweight. Her breasts have huge nipples, and she has a big cunt, an awesome, cavernous thing with an amazingly sensitive clit. She stripped and I lay her on the bed, wiggled out of my clothes, got on top of her, and spent some quality time nibbling those giant nipples and making them erect. She squirmed on the bed under me and cried, "Oh, honey, eat my fucking cunt."

I didn't need to hear more. I slid down her fine big body and sank my face into that cunt of hers. It was already wet, and it just opened up like a big hungry mouth.

Betty squirmed and sighed as I ate her, and after a few minutes she gasped, "Sixty-nine, baby." I straddled her head, and she pushed her tongue into my snatch as I went on eating her.

Honey, I know you believe real men don't eat pussy, and you don't like fish, and you can't stop thinking about the way piss comes out there. But I really think you're missing out on a good thing. It's a real turn-on to eat a woman out and make her squirm and moan. A lot of men feel even more masculine and powerful when they do it. Don't take this the wrong way, dear: I'm saying this for your sake, not mine.

Betty and I gave each other tasty orgasms and then went back to finish our coffee. I'm glad to say I was able to make her feel a good bit better about her marriage. A woman should serve her husband and happily take whatever he dishes out.

10:30 am

After Betty left, Bob came over. Poor lamb! I know you feel for him the way I do. He's your best friend, and he lost his job like five months ago. He's living on unemployment, and his life is really hard.

I feel like the least I can do is lend a sympathetic ear. So I made more coffee and brought out the two-day-old Krispy Kremes, and we talked for a long time. He confessed to me that his wife had stopped sleeping with him.

She'd said to him, "I'll fuck you again when you get a decent job, you fucking deadbeat." He's pretty sure she's getting it on with one of the neighbors, but he hasn't been able to prove it.

He said, "I'll fucking kill the both of them if I catch them." He's such a dear, and it's touching how he and Myrtle have maintained their love through these hard times.

He wanted me to comfort him, but I said, "Bob, I promised my husband I wouldn't let any other man put his cock in my pussy."

"Well," he said, "then how about anal?"

That seemed reasonable, actually it sounded kind of nice, so I got out the vegetable oil, took him to the bedroom, stripped him, and went down on him. A man needs to be good and hard to do anal, so you've got to give him plenty of head beforehand.

Dearest, you really ought to try sucking a cock sometime. I know you think real men don't do it, but I know plenty of really masculine men who love a nice cock now and then, and their wives don't think any less of them. I'm sure Bob would be glad to let you practice on him, and I know a few bars around here where they'd be glad to give your mouth a good workout.

Bob's sweet and nice, and so appreciative when I suck his cock. It's long and lean, like him, and gallons of pre-cum leak out of it, just like that faucet before Max fixed it: it's salty and slippery and oh so yummy. When I'd sucked Bob a good long time, he undressed me, set me on the bed on my hands and knees, and rimmed me.

Bob hadn't shaved in a couple of days. You'd think the scratchiness would be unpleasant on my anus, but it actually felt good, and I like the way a nice two-day growth makes my poop chute sensitive and more ready for a big dick. By the time Bob had been eating my ass for ten minutes or so, I was so excited that I shoved him down on the bed and returned the favor.

Even if he hadn't shaved in a couple of days, Bob isn't one to let himself go when he's unemployed, unlike some people I could name - so his hairy, puckered asshole was clean, lovely, and a little spicy-tasting, like a breakfast sausage. To be honest, his asshole's just as nice as yours, and cleaner. If you've been wondering why I don't lick your shithole more often than I do, well, there it is in a nutshell. You can't trust the water to get into all your crevices when you shower: you've got to work at it a bit.

After a few minutes, Bob was moaning and squirming and hard as a rock, and he said, "Time to fuck that fantastic bunghole of yours, Alice." I lay on my back and pulled my legs way up, and he lubricated me and shoved right in. I was hot and ready after all that rimming, and my ass was sensitive, and I screamed and screamed, enjoying the pain and pleasure of that big hunk of man-meat in my ass. He's so sweet and considerate - he reached down and stroked my clit while he fucked me, and I had a lovely orgasm after just a few minutes. Then he came in my ass, I wiped myself off with a tissue, and that was that! Bob said he felt so much better about himself, he'd fill out five job applications that very afternoon. I was proud I could be such a help to him, and I told him so.

Sweetie, I think you should rethink this anal thing. I keep my little round shitter nice and clean for the men who come by each day, so you don't have to worry about that: it's not nearly as icky and unhygienic as you think. And you might just like it, if you'd give it a try. There's no lack of men who're glad to rim me and poke my pooper, so I don't say this for my sake, but for yours.

And if you've been worrying about hurting me, don't. I can take Bob easily, and his cock's way bigger than yours.

12:10 pm

I was making myself a nice sandwich when the UPS man knocked on the door. I needed to sign for a package.

He looked at it and said, "Say! I know this outfit. Sex toys, vibrators, stuff like that, right?"

"Yes!" I said. "If you need a vibrator, butt plug, flavored lubricant, any of that stuff, this is the best outfit. I can get the Web address for you, if you like."

So he came in, and I got the company up on the web and copied down the URL for him.

Then he watched while I tore into the box. It was a shiny new vibrating dildo - you know, you've seen them on that website you think I don't know you visit every day. I'll tell you, they're just as fun as they look.

The UPS man said, "You think one of those'd make a good present for my wife?"

I said, "Oh, yeah, all the women love them. Why don't you stick around while I give it a whirl?"

So he came back to the bedroom with me and watched while I undressed and tried out my new vibrator. Actually, he didn't just watch: he tweaked my nipples while I stimulated my clit, and when I slid it into my love tunnel, still vibrating, he leaned down and licked my little bean. He said he loved the way he could feel the vibration there.

By the time I felt myself heaving and writhing, almost losing control, he'd gotten naked and was begging to fuck me. I wouldn't let him, of course, because I was being faithful to you, the way I always am. But I told him I'd love it if he wanted to jerk off on my face while I played with myself. It was delightful, watching him pump that big salami inches from my eyes, and at the very instant I cried out, ramming myself with the dildo and coming hard, he groaned and his warm jism spurted all over my face.

"That's some vibrator," he said. "I'm definitely gonna order one for my wife."

"Satisfaction guaranteed," I said.

He left, and I went back to my sandwich.

1:30 pm

Poor little Cheryl from down the road, I feel for her so. Here she's got this shiny new associate's degree in physical therapy, but there are no jobs to be had in this town. Times are so hard! And to make things worse, her boyfriend dumped her this morning.

"Why did he do that, dear?" I asked. "You're so pretty and sweet, a man would be crazy to let go of you."

She said, "I guess he decided we weren't sexually compatible. I need a man I can dominate and whip, and he wanted to be in charge all the time. Every time I brought up the idea of tying him to the bed, he'd say absolutely not. He's handsome, you know, and he has a nice thick cock -"

"I know," I said, "I've seen it."

"And I really loved fucking him," she said, "as far as that went. But he had this funny idea that a real man would never let a woman dominate him, even for play. I got so frustrated that I laid down the law: either he'd let me flog him, or he'd have to leave. And he left."

When she'd told her story Cheryl laid her head down in her arms and cried and cried. "No one to whip," she sobbed.

I took the poor little lambkin in my arms and said, "If it'll make you feel any better, dear, you can whip me."

She brightened up right away and took some rope and a leather cat out of her big purse, and we went back to the bedroom. I don't know if you've ever noticed, dear, but it is possible to use our bed for bondage - it has just enough of a headboard and footboard - and so Cheryl tied me up, lying on my back, and laid into me.

The knotted leather strands of the cat stung my belly and breasts. The pain was delicious, and to make it more intense she insulted me, calling me a dirty cunt, a buttfuck whore, a filthy slut, and all kinds of other naughty names. And when she'd made me good and raw, she sat on my face, putting all her weight on me (but she's such a little thing!) and nearly smothered me with her pretty little cunt.

"Play with yourself, bitch!" she commanded, and I put my hand on my pussy and stroked my clit while I enjoyed the taste of her lovely young cooze. Before long she was bouncing on my face, screaming "Fuck! You! Fuck! You!" with every bounce, and it was so sweet, the way she was enjoying herself humping me, that I came again, and it was almost as good as what I'd gotten with the vibrator.

Cheryl felt a little better after that. I wanted to comfort her some more, but I was expecting Ray soon, and I had to urge her out the door.

2:45 pm

I know you don't want me to get a job, dear. I understand that it would make you feel like less of a man for me to work to supplement your paycheck. But it's really hard to make ends meet every month, with all that red meat I have to buy for you. (But at least the beer is cheap!) So I see a few paying customers - no more than one or two a day.

I don't let them put their cocks in my pussy, dear - I swore I'd be faithful to you, I always have been, and God willing I always will be. Fortunately, Ray doesn't even want to. He's into watersports and scat.

Today he was looking for some nice piss play, so I took a couple of crystal wine glasses from the kitchen - you know, the ones that Aunt Wilma gave us for a wedding present - and took him to the bathroom.

We undressed and got in the tub, and Ray pissed a little in one of the glasses; then he jerked himself off while he watched me drink it. Ray always tanks up pretty good before he comes over, so his piss is almost colorless and doesn't taste strong. Not that I mind all that much: I've drunk some piss that's almost thick, like a dessert wine, and yellow as a lemon.

When I'd drunk off the little he'd pissed for me, he was really excited and started to piss straight into my mouth. I opened up wide so he could see the pee going in, and then I closed my lips around him, just loose so it would run out around his cock and over my chin. Different men like different kinds of pee play, of course: it turns Ray on to feel his warm pee gushing over his cock. I like it too: the feel of warm liquid flooding into my mouth is so sexy - and the men just love to watch!

When I sensed Ray was getting near empty I held the last of his piss in my mouth and let him watch me swallow it. Then - we always follow the same routine, me and Ray, when we pee - I pissed in the other glass for him, and he drank it. Then I squatted over his face and pissed into his mouth while he jerked off. He came just as I was getting empty. I left him alone to shower, and when he came out he gave me fifty dollars. Fifty for a half hour of work! Isn't that amazing, dear? So much more than Wal-Mart pays!

I showered myself after that and went to get little Erp off the school bus.

4:05 pm

My best friend Bertha came by with her husband Jimmy. I'm always so glad to see them, and it was a good time for a little tea and some biscuits. We ate, drank our tea, and talked about our days.

They'd been to their swingers luncheon club that day - it was Jimmy's day off - and they'd fucked like three different couples in an hour.

"Wow," I said, "that's impressive! As for me, I haven't had a cock in my pussy even once today, and I doubt that my husband'll be in the mood when he gets home." Because you aren't often, you know, dear. You usually come home, open a beer, spend a few minutes complaining to me about the assholes you have to work with, and go turn on the TV. I'm not complaining, honey, I never complain. But a little afternoon fuck now and again would be nice.

"Well, why don't we do something right now?" Bertha said. "Erp's watching TV, he'll never notice, and it'll be a good hour before your husband gets home."

I said, "I swore to my husband that I'd never let another man's cock into my pussy, and I never have. I've always been a faithful wife."

Bertha said, "I know very well that a dildo doesn't count, since I've fucked you hundreds of times with my big black strap-on. Why don't you let me fuck your pussy with my dildo while Jimmy here drills your ass?"

A little double penetration can be lovely in the late afternoon, so I agreed to this happily. We went to the bedroom, got naked, and had some three-way oral sex, me eating Bertha's pussy - it had long floppy lips and it was still ripe from her luncheon - while she sucked Jimmy's cock and he gave my love button a vigorous tongue-job.

Then Jimmy lay on the bed and I lowered myself onto his big cock, sighing as I took the whole length of him into my little round shit chute. Meanwhile Bertha was lubricating her dildo, and when she was ready, she squatted down and thrust into me. It was such a treat being so stretched and filled up with cock and dildo. Jimmy's cock felt especially good after the pounding I'd gotten from Bob that morning. He'd left me nice and sore, and now Jimmy was tearing me up. I came within a few minutes, and then I watched Jimmy fuck his wife. It's so heartwarming to see how much they love each other! When he was ready to come I put my face down near her pussy, and he pulled out of her just in time for his cum to jet into my mouth. He has such a nice strong cock, he can spurt practically across a room, so it was satisfying to feel him squirt into me that way, hot spunk splashing hard right down my throat.

I know very well, dear, that you love to watch gangbangs on the web, so it's kind of a mystery to me why you aren't interested in them in real life. A lot of men I know think it's really entertaining to watch their wives get pounded by two, three or four men, and there's no real harm in it. The only thing is, you have to make sure any guys you've never met before use their condoms. You might even want to consider getting gangbanged yourself sometime. Plenty of women like to do it with dildos, and you might enjoy a mix of men and women better than you think. Think about what I said before about sucking cock. The same goes for being ass-fucked by a big young stud.

5:15 pm

Bertha and Jimmy were gone, and you, dear husband, love of my life, man of my dreams, came home from a hard day's work at the Wal-Mart. I greeted you at the door with a beer and said, "How was your day, dear?"

"Fucking awful," you said. "Fucking asshole boss was on my case all day, and I had to work with that stupid cunt Molly again."

"I'm so sorry, dear," I said. "Erp's cartoon show will be over in a few minutes. You can take over the TV then and find a nice game, or watch the news."

You took a drink of your beer. It was already starting to go to your head a little.

"You remember what I said about fucking around?" he said. "You better not be fucking around on me."