Who Needs A Guy Ch 05

I was quiet the whole drive home. I think that my parents just thought I was just tired from finals. I couldn't get Li's goodbye letter out of my head. While not a deeply religious person, I did say a prayer for her. I prayed that she would be able to find peace and comfort with who she was and where her life was headed.

I also thanked the Yin and Yang for bringing our lives together. That brought a warmth to the emblem resting against my chest. I will never forget her.

Right now, I needed my girlfriend more than anything in the whole wide world. I needed to feel her warmth. I needed to feel her love. I needed to feel the part of her that made me whole. But mostly, I just needed to feel her closeness that she would never leave me.

...................................................

My first morning home, I woke early to the hustle and bustle in the kitchen. My mom was busy preparing for Kevin's graduation party the coming weekend. He had walked across the stage to get his Mechanical Engineering diploma a couple of weeks ago. I wish that I could have been there to see that. The first one in our family to receive a college degree. They were delaying his party here at the farm until I got home. I hadn't seen him or Dale yet... Still sleeping... Lazy bums.

She said that for now, she had everything under control and that I should just relax.

It wasn't unusual for me to show up at Vickie's house early in the morning, like 8:30. I knew that she'd still be in bed. She always slept in whenever she could.

Her mom greeted me as I causally entered their house without knocking with a big hug. To her, I was like her 'second daughter'.

I always liked her. She reminded me of my mom in a lot of ways. Always caring. Always understanding. And, on top of all of that... she was a pretty good tractor-driver when she would relieve Vickie to let her take a break.

We chatted about my school year and what I had planned for the summer. She thought the idea of working part-time in Doc Iverson's office was wonderful, given where I was headed in my planned future.

Quietly shutting and locking Vickie's bedroom door, I just stood there watched and listened to my best friend sleep. She was on her side facing me. Her face looked so peaceful. Her strawberry-blonde hair lying against her bare shoulder where her loose nightshirt had slipped off. Her skin looked as soft as ever.

Stripping down to nothing and moving to the other side of her bed, I gently slipped under the cool thin sheets and spooned up next to my best friend. My hand rested at the bottom of her shirt, just below her cute belly button, and pressed my bare body into her. Even through her thin night t-shirt, she felt so good.

She stirred, took my hand, and guided up the inside of her shirt to cup her warm soft breast and just held my hand there. My lips kissed her neck. The sweet taste of her sleep on her neck was heavenly. God, I missed this girl.

"mmmm. I love it when you wake me up. If I had known that you'd be here so early, I'd have slept all naked. You know that we have to behave ourselves... for now anyway."

Ten seconds later, we resumed our spoon...this time bare skin to bare skin. My bush brushing against Vickie's smooth bare butt. My hard nipples pressed into her warm back as my hand, once again, cupped her soft little breast with her hard nipple resting against my palm. Oh god... I needed this... the closeness.

Nuzzling my face into her neck and then another kiss to her soft skin, "I love you, Vic. Oh god, I love you so much. Don't ever leave me. I need you so badly."

I don't know where those last two sentences came from, but my voice cracked and the tears came again.

Turning to face me, my best friend stroked my cheek and kissed my forehead as a sign of her undying love and devotion.

"What's wrong Lisa? What happened?"

It took me a few minutes, and once I settled down.

"Alice left me. Carrie left me. And now Li left me. You're all that I have. It seems like whoever I get close to, they leave me. I'm scared"

"Lisa... Oh Lisa, my love... We've been through so much together all of our lives. Why would you think that I'd ever leave you?"

The next fifteen minutes, or so, I told Vickie all about the last quarter with Li, including the last few weeks and her letter. When I finished, the room was quiet except for our sniffles.

"She fell in love with you, just like Alice did. I can see how that could happen. You're a strong, compassionate, and caring person. It sounds like she needed someone like you at this point in her life."

"Vic. I didn't mean for it to happen. I just didn't think of it that way but you're right.. She told me that she loved me. I knew that it went beyond just a friendship love, that she loved me from her heart. I just didn't realize the depth until our last night together. Holding her. Crying together. And then her letter.

"What am I going to do for the next two years with roommates and everything?"

"Lisa, people come and go in your life all the time, especially at college where each year you meet new people. The way that I look at it is that with each friendship that you form, you each share a bit of yourself with the other. And when you go your separate ways, that piece stays with each of you... consciously or subconsciously that piece will always be with you.

"You, Alice, and Carrie shared and you and Li shared. I mean, I'm sure that you think of Li every time that you do your breathing or exercises and every time that you look in the mirror at the emblem that she gave you.

"The sharing of letters will keep your friendship alive, but I think that over time that may fade too. It's just the way that life is. But, the bottom line is that you shared a piece of yourself and you got a piece back from them. You grew as a person and they grew in return. That's what life's all about... growing."

I had one wise girlfriend.

She was right. With Alice and Carrie, my eyes were opened and I came away with thoughts of who and what I was. And I was comfortable with that.

With Li, it was more than just the Tai Chi. I was exposed to the concept of 'prejudice' and how to deal with it... Don't let it win. It was something that I was pretty sure that I'd face later in life. And I was shown a different type of love, a type of love that could have come close to the love that I shared with my bestest friend. It would have been on a level of love that the three of us could enjoy.

I also knew that Alice and Li went away as stronger and more independent women. And that they each told me that it was because of me, made me feel good inside.

"And Lisa, my dear dear friend, you're safe with me. I promise. And when you get scared, of anything: look me in the eyes, hold me a little tighter, and smile. Because I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be right here for you. And no matter what happens with our families and us, I'm forever yours just like you're forever mine. That, my love, will never change."

"So, what am I going to do in the years to come with roommates and all of that stuff?"

"I don't know. You can't stop being you. It's who you are. And, I for one like the way that you are. But, from what I've seen so far, the type of friendships that you formed with Alice, Carrie, and Li I think are pretty uncommon for college roommates and friends. And I don't mean the kissing and stuff part. I mean the close and genuine friendships. You've had two roommates in a row who needed a girl with a personality like yours. Strange how the universe works. And like I said, from my brief experience with roommates, and looking around at others, that's pretty unusual.

"As far as your next roommates... Who knows? Maybe your next roommate will be a total bitch. Or what if she's a full-blown cute little pixie-like lesbian? You could really have a lot of fun then. I couldn't wait to get your letters."

.......................................

That afternoon found us back at my parent's farm, under our favorite shady tree basking in the after-glow of our hour, or so, of slow and heartfelt lovemaking. This is what I needed. This is where I belonged. In the arms of my lifelong girlfriend, lover, and soulmate. Resting my head on her warm chest just above her beating heart. I was a lucky girl.

..............................................

It warmed my heart that weekend at Kevin's graduation party with friends and family when Kevin took Vickie aside, gave her a big hug, and whispered in her ear, that she was a lucky girl. She knew what and how he meant it. She was close to tears, and she hugged him back. I was close to tears just watching. We were going to be fine.

Kevin found a job, as a mechanical engineer for a company that designed farm equipment, like combines and hay balers a few towns over about 45 minutes away. Go figure. I guess one way or another he would always be connected to farming. He seemed excited at the prospect of having his own one-bedroom apartment for the first time.

I think that it was especially hard on my parents. The first to leave the nest.

As we all finished moving Kevin's stuff which consisted of his bed, dresser, desk, a living room set that my parents had pick up for him plus the few kitchen items that my mom had picked up for him, there was a moment of silent realization from my parents. The realization that their oldest was about to start a life of his own.

I knew that in the coming years that it would get harder: Dale and then their only daughter. That was going to be especially tough on my dad.

Kevin reassured everyone that he would be back on the weekends to be with family instead of just hanging out at his apartment by himself. That brought some welcoming smiles.

......................................................

The summer went by fast. Working 20 hours a week in Doc Iverson's office was educational and helped my bank account. My first paying job.

I kind of felt guilty not being around the farm with all of its demands: cultivating, haying, milking to name a few. My mom and dad reassured me to, 'not worry about it'. They had outside help, and I needed to be doing what I was doing. But, I would still get up early to help with the milking and then again in the evening. That was bred into my system, and I loved it.

At first, it was just learning his office procedures: Scheduling appointments, cleaning up an exam room, grooming dogs, billing, and accounting. But, it wasn't just office stuff. Occasionally I'd get to help one of the other Vets with small animals: dogs, cats, hampsters, and even white rats.

The first time someone brought in a rat, I just shook my head. Who would want a rat as a pet? On the farm, the only 'rat pets' were the ones the cats caught and played with until they finally ate it.

But, it was the farm visits that I really enjoyed. There weren't that many, but when the opportunity came up, I took full advantage of it. Most were 'cow issues', but occasionally there would be a horse or a sow who was having birthing issues, or some type of gash on a leg from the barbed wire fencing that needed cleaning and stitching of the wound.

Vickie and I still did sleepovers. Outside of my brothers, I don't think it drew any attention. It's just something that we had done all of our lives.

Her parents had remodeled the master bath and installed a large whirlpool bathtub, with jets. Vickie said that she didn't want to think about what happens in there. And she's right. Somehow visualizing your parents messing around was a place neither of us wanted to go.

At times we had the whole house to ourselves, so we used the tub whenever we could. It was fun. The way it was situated it faced the back of the house with a large window that overlooked the fields of corn and the faraway hills. It felt like we were on total display to the world. Especially when either Vickie or I sat on the ledge of the tub in front of the window, as the other was between the legs of whoever, providing much-welcomed pleasure and enjoying the taste and closeness of our lover.

I don't know if her parents ever caught on as to what was happening in their tub, when they were out, as nothing was said. Maybe her mom knew that something was happening and just kept to herself. Perhaps, letting things play out in their own time.

...............................................

Vickie and my birthdays were 10 days apart, with mine being last. Every year it was fun. A big party at her place with plenty of food, and games, and yes drinks. Followed a week later by another big party put on by my parents.

So, with three weeks left in our summer vacation, my brothers decided to combine our 21

st

birthday celebration into a single celebration in a night of bar hopping between the four local taverns.

It wasn't my mom's first choice on how she thought the two of us should celebrate our 21

st

birthdays together. I think she realized that we saw it as one of the 'rites of passage' like getting your driver's license, or your first kiss.

As Vickie and I were off in my room getting ready to leave, my mom took Kevin and Dale aside. In her 'mom mode' she made it

crystal

clear that it was

their

job to look after the two of us, and to make sure that it's a safe and memorable experience.

The first bar was interesting. Kevin and Dale were greeted by the woman behind the bar like they were regulars. She gave me a questioning look, like, 'are you even old enough to drive?'. I guess that I'll have to get used to that and always have my ID ready. After announcing to the bar the reason for our celebration, four shot glasses appeared on the bar with some clear liquid with a few lime slices on a saucer with some salt.

"Here's to two of the most wonderful, beautiful, and lucky girls in the world."

In one gulp they downed it. Vickie and I just stood there looking at each other. Shrugging our shoulders, clinking our glasses together in our own toast to each other we downed that clear liquid in one gulp.

Holy Shit!!! My throat was on fire. I coughed and coughed. Those two idiot brothers of mine just laughed. No wonder the American Indians referred to whiskey as 'Fire Water'.

"What the hell was that?" my voice raspy as I was still trying to catch my breath.

"Welcome to the world of Tequila."

We visited the other taverns in town. Each was interesting in its own unique way. I got carded in each. Each had a different type of people... mostly men, older men; although there were a few women. Some were 'rough' looking women. They were giving both of us 'the predatory eye'. I didn't want to think of what was going through their heads. We didn't stay long at that one.

No more shots. It was fun. In one bar, the four of us played darts. That was fun. Another had a pool table.

A few hours later, we circled back to where we started. I could see why Kevin and Dale liked this one. It was the most comfortable and friendly. I thought that we were doing pretty good. I mean it wasn't like we were stumbling around. Kevin and Dale made sure that we paced ourselves. Bought us some 'bar food' to soak up the alcohol.

I could get used to hanging out with them like this; as opposed to some 'guy date' wondering what was going to happen when we left. What he would expect in return for showing me a good time and spending money on me? Didn't want to think about that. Not going to happen... ever. I had my date right next to me and later she'd be in my bed, gloriously naked, with me between her legs.

As always, Dale and Vickie were getting along really well. I wondered why he never asked her out in high school. Too bad. Missed his chance. She's mine now.

Kevin and I had fun. Throughout the evening, whenever we formed teams, it was always Kevin and me. He was my rock, for a lot of reasons. I knew that no matter where he lived, that if I ever really needed him that he'd be right there for me in a heartbeat.

On his way back from emptying his bladder, I saw him stop and linger in front of the jukebox.

With a warm smile, he took my hand and led me to an open area. I had never danced with him. Don't know why, just that the occasion never came up. Looking down at his little sister just before the music started, all I could see was the love that he had for me.

And then as the music started, he took me in his strong arms and held me close. My head came to just below his chin. I have never felt safer and more secure. And then the words of the song started and I quickly realized that he had selected this song just for me... Ben E. King, 'Stand by Me'.

'When the night has come

And the land is dark

And the moon is the only light we'll see

No, I won't be afraid

Oh, I won't be afraid

Just as long as you stand

Stand by me....

I couldn't help it. Tears came as I nuzzled my cheek into his strong chest. I felt my brother tighten his embrace, as we just stood there and swayed. The words of this very special song being etched into my heart.

... Whenever you're in trouble

Won't you stand by me?

Oh, stand by me

Won't you stand now?

Oh, stand by me'

The music ended. You could hear a pin drop. Kevin lightly and lovingly kissed my forehead. Once again, wordlessly telling me, 'I will always protect you'... 'I will always be here for you'... and most important... 'I will always love you'.

Our eyes met, "I love you Kevin."

"I love you Lisa... Always will. No matter what."

Another kiss, sealing those words of commitment.

Looking over at my girlfriend through teary eyes, Vickie was wiping her own with a napkin. I was a lucky girl.

............................................

In my bed, naked, and with my naked 21-year-old girlfriend, we held each other.

"You're so lucky Lisa. You have two brothers who love you like nothing that I've ever seen. I mean, we both know of other girls with older brothers. But none of them have the kind of connection that you guys share. And that they know about us. And are truly happy for both of us is more than I could ever imagine."

"Yeah, Kevin's my rock. Dale has always been there for me too, but Keving was always the first to step up. And if you remember in high school they each let it be known that if anyone disrespected me in any way that there would be 'Hell to pay' and in their case... 'Double Hell'."

"I remember that. Probably scared a lot of guys away."

"Probably. And looking back at it, those kind of guys I wouldn't want around me anyway."

"Lisa... let's make love to each other. Our birthday presents to each other. Let's touch and feel each other... everywhere. Let's taste each other... everywhere.

Grinning, "I'd love to... because Vic... I love you so much. And do you know why?"

"Probably, but tell me."

I could feel it welling up in my chest. Emotions for this girl. There were going to be tears, and I haven't even said one word.

Leaning in, I had to kiss those soft lips. Then, as I stroked her smooth cheek.

"Vic, I love you for all those times that you stood by me. For all the joy that you brought into my life. You always saw the best there was in me. If I lost my faith, you gave it back to me. You always said that no star was out of my reach. I was blessed because I was loved by you. The world is a better place because of you. I'm everything I am because you loved me."

My voice failing me as we each wiped tears from each other's face.

"Oh Lisa, my love. That was beautiful. Just like you. Thank you. And, I'm everthing that I am because you loved me."