Professor Days stood at the front of the room, tapping on her phone. I scowled down at my chemistry packet, hating NMR and all it stood for. We both checked the time repeatedly.
Five minutes after class was supposed to start, Days sighed. "Well," she said, "it looks like nobody else is coming."
There were only four people in the class, so it was very noticeable when somebody didn't show up. I would think that would be enough to make people come regularly, but no - this was the third time in as many weeks I was the only one in the room.
"I'm starting to think I should give pop quizzes," she said to me as the projector flickered on for the powerpoint. At the look on my face, she added hastily, "Just as a participation grade. Nothing too hard, just, like, a picture of a stigma and 'how many ovaries does this plant have' or something like that."
I relaxed. "Maybe a good idea."
"Then people might actually show up...anyway. I have a lot of pretty pictures today, so I'll just turn off the lights and we'll get started."
Days always ran over time. It was amazing, how long she could talk about plants without seeming to get bored. About ten minutes after the period ended, I got an email announcing that she'd changed the syllabus.
The next class, she followed through on her threat of a participation quiz. Once more, I was the only one who had bothered to come, so she looked at me and said, "Where were potatoes originally domesticated?"
"South American highlands, wasn't it?"
"Good. Hundred percent on the first quiz." She marked it in the gradebook. "We're going to talk about the Three Sisters today - maize, wheat, and beans. If I get through all of them I'll be lucky. Corn can't actually survive without our help anymore, because we've turned it into a shatterless crop."
The class after that, the other three people showed up. Days launched into her lecture right on time. An odd feeling rose up in my chest as I took notes.
Then came our first test. When I was done, I handed it to her.
"Thanks," she said, taking it and looking up into my face.
I mumbled something. Her eyes, so incredibly blue, distracted me from saying anything more coherent, and I suddenly realized what it was that rose up in me when everyone was there.
Jealousy.
Now that I recognized my crush, it was all I could think about. Her strong jawline, her calloused hands, her compact frame, the way her graying hair was cut in a man's fashion to let her work without it getting in the way, her passion for and knowledge of what she was teaching. I started to look forward to the classes when it was just us, and I could drink her in without worrying about anyone else noticing anything odd.
To my mind, she seemed to be reciprocating. She smiled at me more, joked more when it was just us, winked occasionally. Once, I told a joke when we were both leaving, and she laughed and touched my shoulder.
I quashed those thoughts as quickly as they came up. I was fat, and stupid, and a student. Even if Days was into women, there was no way she could be interested in me, and no way for us to be together even if she were. I enjoyed my crush, but allowed it to go no further than what I could control.
Just before spring break, I was again the only one who showed up. She groaned (would she make the same noise if I - no. Stop) and said, "Why are you the only one who shows up?"
I shrugged, mind racing as I struggled to think of a lie. "Um - the powerpoints don't do a whole lot, and I need to do well since it's my last semester."
"How old are you?"
"Twenty-two."
She nodded, as if I'd confirmed something for her, and started class.
I still had to work over spring break. My on-campus job was in the room where all the biology materials were, so I wasn't particularly shocked when Days walked in.
She was surprised to see me, though, that much was clear. "What are you doing in here?" she asked.
"She works here," Johannes said.
"Oh. I just need - um" - she looked around - "that. Is there a ladder somewhere?"
The plant model she was looking for was on the very top shelf. Short as she was, she couldn't reach it.
"I got it," I said, standing up. It was almost out of my reach, but I snagged it with my fingertips and pulled it down. "Here."
"Thanks." She smiled up at me and took the model. I couldn't help noticing her head was right at breast height.
"Of course."