Janie had never flown before. She sat in the waiting area and watched the huge 767 taxi towards them. She had turned eighteen only three days before and was now enjoying her promised reward for graduating valedictorian and earning a full academic scholarship to Princeton.
Janie's mom and dad had been socking away money for their children's education for years. Well, from the day each of them was born, to be honest. Her older sister Tess was in her second year at Notre Dame and her older brother Bill was a freshman at Cal. Like her, each had won a full scholarship and like her, each had chosen the prize they most coveted.
Tess was driving a Ferrari Testarosa, Billy a vintage-restored Shelby Cobra. Janie had passed on a car, she was taking a three month European vacation. Basically, her folks challenged each of their children and offered the same reward. Each had a college fund set aside and by the time they hit eighteen each of those funds had been nearing half a million dollars. Her parents approach was simple and direct. Earn a full scholarship to a school on their short list and you could spend up to half your college fund on whatever you wanted.
It had worked out well for them. Their three oldest children had all studied hard and excelled. Now only Donna was left, but she was the rebel child and her chances of getting an academic scholarship were close to nil. Janie felt sorry for her, but Donna felt sorry for her in return. Their conversation before they parted at the gate floated back to her mind.
"I don't understand you sis. All you have to do is apply yourself and you could be as good in school as I am."
"You just go to school. You don't experience anything. Your whole life has been spent in your room studying, or at the library or at some function to earn brownie points." Donna had replied.
"So? I'm going to Europe for three months and you'll be wishing you had done better." Janie replied defensively.
"You have things. Billy has things. Tess has things. I've got memories. I've got experiences. I'll still have my memories and they'll still be fresh and real long after your things have worn out or you've replaced them with more things."
"I have a lot of memories!" Janie protested.
"Do you?" Donna said, looking left and right.
The airport was nearly empty this time of morning, all the commuter flights had taken off already and only a few harried travelers were about.
Without warning Donna rammed her shoulder into Janie's chest and shoved her into a dark nook between an observation window and a huge concrete support column. Her sister forced her hand between Janie's thighs and began to roughly massage her pussy while her intense brown eyes bored into Janie's.
"Have you ever been fucked on a Harley at 100 miles per hour in the dead of night on Breakneck road? Do you know how it feels to have your girlfriend finger banging you at Rita's, surrounded by unsuspecting couples? So afraid you'll get caught the fear just adds to the need until you're so horny you think you'll pop? Know the thrill of being sandwiched between two hard assed dykes, with a dildo so far up your pussy you swear it's at the back of your throat and another so far up you ass you're sure you won't ever be able to shit again? Know what it's like to scream as you cum, while the most wonderful girl in the world reams your cunt? Have you ever shared a kiss, at dawn, on the desert floor? When the sun is just rising and your body aches from all the pleasure you had the night before?"
Janie was dumbstruck. Unable to move or fight as her sister's hand continued to demandingly massage her. Their eyes were locked and Janie felt her body starting to respond to her sister's hand. Before she knew what was happening Donna had stepped away and was looking out the window. When she recovered herself she moved next to her sister.
"What was that all about?" she finally asked.
Donna smiled, ran a hand through her heavily dyed black hair and shrugged.
"Tess never lived. Billy either. Oh, they have things and they'll have education and one day, they might wake up from the sleepwalk that has been their lives and try living it, rather than watching it, but I doubt it. I love 'em both, but I pity them. I thought you were heading down the same road, then you surprised me and picked this trip over a toy. You've got a chance, a chance to really live. If you'll just take it."
"I am taking it. Aren't I?"
"You're still a virgin aren't you?"
Janie blushed, but didn't reply. Her sister was so strange today, so different. Still wild, but there was a feeling of introspection in her words and sorrow clung to her as closely as her leather jacket. Janie was caught between wanting to smack her and wanting to hug her.
"Thought so," she said with a sad smile.
"What about it?" Janie said, again defensive.
"Nothing. You wouldn't understand, even if I had the words," she said, turning back to the window.
She looked so alone then; so suddenly helpless and vulnerable. Janie reached out and touched her shoulder.
"Try me?"
"Sex is life Janie. It's the most powerful thing you can experience. And it's good. You've shut yourself off from trying, so you've shut yourself off from living and I'm afraid if you don't see now, you'll end up like Tess and Billy. Just a spectator as life goes by. You've won the things but they mean nothing without the memories. You're going somewhere, doing something, and you'll be surrounded by hot-assed women. Just try to live, that's all I guess."
"Look, I've known you're...gay since..."
"I'm a dyke, you can say it. I'm not ashamed of it."
"All right, I've known you're a...dyke, since you were fifteen. But I'm not..."
"How do you know?" Donna shouted, causing a few people to glance at them curiously, which brought a blush to Janie's face.
"Please," she whispered.
"You don't know," she said defiantly.
It came out like an accusation and Janie felt herself getting angry. She bit that down though, something was really troubling her little sister and now she was worried.
"I'm sure I do."
"How? Have you done it with a guy? No. Have you done it with a girl? No. Have you done it with anyone? No. I bet you don't even play with yourself."
"Donna, what's gotten into you?"
"Nothing. Just forget it. Have a good trip sis," she said, turning on her heels and stalking out of the airport.
Janie was still watching her walk away when she noticed a tall woman in a dark business suit watching her intently. She was seated at a table, in the shadows of one of the many bars. Janie blushed crimson, and quickly entered the terminal proper. There was no way the woman could have failed to hear their conversation and for a while, she kept looking over her shoulder. Almost as if she expected the woman to be following her.
I am living, she told herself, but somehow the words rang hollow. I mean, look, I've got a laptop and a DVD player and...
"And you have a lot of things," her sister's voice echoed in her head.
I've got memories too, she thought. But try as she might, she couldn't find one that seemed even close to her sister's examples. Of course, those might just be the most profound her sister had, the best of hers, but Janie didn't feel that way. She remembered birthdays, fun times with friends and family, but she curiously found as she ran through them, they became less frequent the older she became. She couldn't remember anything really about the last year, except exams, finals, studying. Well, there were a few other things, but not many. Or maybe I'm just upset and making my memories fit her accusations?
Screw it. I'm just depressing myself now and I should be enjoying this trip. Still, her sister's words nagged at her, like cat toying with a mouse, they just wouldn't stop.
***
Janie poured the small bottle of rum into her plastic cup of coke. The stewardess was an older woman and seemed very nice. She had given Janie the bottle of rum, furtively fishing it out of the pocket of her apron after Janie told her she was eighteen and this was her first time ever in an airplane. She watched as the first class cabin filled, and then as people filed past to second class.
