Dr. Cole's Casefiles - Vanessa

Session 05

"That was a strange place to end the session. I mean, she just said her first real lover was a lesbian prostitute and you say, 'Uh, oh well, if you feel stressed, take a walk along the beach.'"

I glared at Bill. "You know, I've always felt your sense of humor to be overly developed and crude, more in line with a truck driver than a doctor."

Bill stared at me for a moment then broke out in laughter, a deep belly laugh. Over-developed and juvenile sense of humor indeed.

When he got control of himself, he said, "Come on, Sue, weren't you dying of curiosity?"

I frowned. "Actually, I was more shocked than curious. I needed time to digest it all before proceeding."

Bill returned my frown. "I know you. You think something was going on under the surface. But surely you don't think her love affair with Karen was the first step in a planned recruitment, do you?"

I arched my left eyebrow. "In a world ruled largely by random chance, coincidences are to be expected, but only a fool trusts any one of them. I have to be very careful exploring this one, I think."

Bill glanced at the clock. "Good luck with your investigation into this one, Detective Sue."

***

Vanessa looked as pretty as ever. I don't think she could look unattractive if she tried. We exchanged greetings and she lay down on the couch. I took a seat facing her and began.

"Last time, you told me that Karen revealed that she was a lesbian prostitute and worked for a dominatrix named Judith."

She nodded. "Karen called her 'Mistress' or 'Mistress Judith.'"

"Let's pick up from there, shall we? What happened next?"

Vanessa frowned. "That night? I already told you. We made love again."

"So, Karen's revelation didn't bother you?"

Vanessa shook her head. "Not really. I mean, for that kind of money, it would be hard to turn down. And I could tell from the way Karen acted that her job had nothing to do with me."

"You continued having sex as you had been?"

Vanessa smiled, dreamy and sleepy. "Oh yes, every day, as usual. It got even better."

I asked, "How so?"

"Karen showed me new positions and began bringing home some of her boss's toys for us to use. Are the details important?"

I shook my head. "Not unless you think so."

"No. We had fun. We fucked each other into exhaustion every night. I slept like I'd never slept before. I woke up every morning feeling rested and ready for the day. And I didn't feel so lonely and angry. My suspicions about sex had been right. It turned out to be the best part of my life and I HAD been missing something before. Karen showed me what."

She paused and I waited. When she remained silent, I ventured a question I'd held back since the beginning. "It appears you were very fond of Karen." She nodded in agreement. "But you've never said that you were in love with her. Were you?"

She looked at me for several moments, as if contemplating her answer, which was strange but signaled the question's importance. Usually, she replied quickly.

"Funny you should ask that."

I said, "Why do you say that?"

"That night, the night she told me about Judith, after I got her off, Karen told me that she loved me."

"Was that the first time?"

"Yes."

"How did you respond?"

"I didn't know what to say."

"What did you do?"

"I kissed her like there was no tomorrow and made love to her again."

I let the answer hang in the air for a few moments. "So, you deflected with a sex act?"

Vanessa said, "That sounds like psycho-babble but I guess it's apt. I didn't know what 'being in love' felt like, so I kept on doing what I had before. Karen liked it well enough. She came so hard she nearly passed out."

I asked, "Do you think you were being dishonest?"

Vanessa frowned. "What do you mean?"

I replied, "I'm not trying to upset you. What most people call 'being in love' is really a biochemical reaction engendered by a combination of physical attraction and emotional attachment bordering on obsession. What is called a 'crush' is a similar thing, but entirely one-sided. 'Being in love' is the next step, usually much stronger. The person 'in love' becomes desperate for the object of her affection to reciprocate. You obviously felt affection and attraction for Karen. It becomes a question of the degree of your feelings. From your reaction here, I take it that your feelings for Karen were less intense than hers for you. Is that correct?"

Vanessa averted her eyes, but not to the left, so I didn't think she was formulating a lie. She remained silent.

I pushed. "In such matters, we really can't help the way that we feel. I'm not trying to blame you. Desire cannot be negotiated. Just because a person loves you does not obligate you to return that love to the same degree." She kept her eyes averted and didn't try to speak. As a last chance, I added, "I should know."

It was a violation of the clinical procedure, showing a chink in my armor. It could've undermined her confidence in me as a clinician. But I had a strong feeling that a bit of commiseration could provide a breakthrough and it turned out to be correct. My admission got her attention. She stared at me for a moment before asking, "You, too, eh? Another woman?"

I shook my head. "A man. My dearest friend."

She asked, "Were y'all lovers?".

I said, "No. I knew better."

"I thought you liked men as well as women."

I answered, "I do."

She asked, "Well, what was the matter with him? Is he fat or ugly?"

I said, "No. He's quite handsome and successful."

She asked, "Then why?"

I said, "Because I knew I couldn't give him what he most desired. He clearly wanted more than just my body, but I was unwilling to attach myself that strongly to anyone. If we had started a physical relationship, I would have eventually lost his friendship. And his friendship is one of the true treasures of my life."

She said, "So, if y'all hadn't been such good friends, I mean, if he had picked you up in a bar, say, or y'all met a party, you would've fucked him?"

I shrugged. "Maybe, though I'm not given to such impulsiveness. I'm usually quite deliberate in such matters. But your situation is different."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that you and Karen didn't have a close personal relationship until after you had sex. In all the ways that really count, Karen was your first, despite the two or three men you'd been with before. I only meant that I know what it's like to have somebody love me as a potential long term mate when I don't feel the same way. I say again, that kind of feeling can't be negotiated. He could never have been kind enough, good enough in bed, generous enough, or even loyal enough for me to make him the primary focus of my life. There is nothing wrong with him. I don't think I'll ever feel that way about anybody. I'm too independent."

She nodded. "I think I understand."

I continued. "So, did Karen's expression of her feelings for you make you feel guilty? Is that why you put even more effort into your sex with her?"

She paused again. "Maybe. It makes sense. I mean, I didn't want to lose her. So, I guess you could say that I did try to make up for what I didn't feel but she did."

"That's what I meant about being dishonest. You didn't tell her what you really felt, but you acted as if you reciprocated, yes?"

She shrugged. "I suppose so." She sighed. "Yes, you're right."

"Did Karen ever tell you she loved you again?"

Vanessa nodded. "But not right away."

I opened my eyes wider. "Sounds like there's a lot more to the story. Do you feel like continuing?"

"Yes. I suppose I have to. That's why I'm here, after all, isn't it?"

I nodded. "I think it's necessary. So, go on, please."

"Like I said, that night was just after Thanksgiving. We had about two weeks left before final exam week. After that was the Christmas break. They always shut down the dorms then. Lots of people move out, change roommates, whatever. The dorm assignments are for the year, so you don't have to move your stuff if you're staying, but you have to vacate them until the next semester starts. I didn't have a job, so I didn't have to stay in Forrestburg. I always went to my Grandma's, you know, my dad's mother. But that year, Karen wanted me to spend Christmas with her."

I asked, "Where did she want y'all to stay?"

Vanessa winced. "See, that was the problem. She always stayed at Judith's house."

I sat back. "I see. I assume that Judith extended an invitation to you through Karen?"

"I asked Karen that and she said that it was ok with Judith, so that's what it sounded like."

"Were you nervous about going?"

Vanessa nodded. "I didn't like springing that on Grandma, but Karen said I could tell her I'd been invited to my roommate's place, which was kinda true. I was okay with that but ..."

I prompted her, "You weren't comfortable with Judith doing business while you were there?"

She nodded. "But ...."

I waited. Then, "But you were curious?"

In a small voice, she said, "Yes."

To make her comfortable, I said, "You remember my speech about normal and abnormal, right?" She nodded. "Well, as far as I'm concerned, consenting adults can have fun in any way they choose. I've always felt that attempting to legislate morality is a waste of time and resources. So, I find nothing wrong with a young woman being curious about such things. Be open and honest with me. You have nothing to be embarrassed about."

She nodded and smiled. "Thanks, Sue. The fact is, I was curious about the whole thing."

"The dominatrix thing?"

"Yes. I liked it when Karen took charge of me, so I could understand, at least a little, how at some level the dominatrix thing would be interesting and fun. I didn't think much of spanking or humiliation or anything like that, but that seemed more like a matter of degree. It's easy to understand how, if you have what would normally be considered 'unusual' desires, it would be easier to be in a scenario where those acts were 'forced' on you, as if it wasn't really your choice."

I asked, "So, why were you hesitant? Did you think that Judith would try to persuade you into doing some of those acts?"

Vanessa nodded. "I thought it was likely. I mean, Karen still called her 'Mistress.' What if Judith demanded that Karen share me? You've said before that I'm fully aware of my physical attractions. Why else would she invite me?"

I shrugged. "Did you go?"

"Yes. Like Karen said, it was a nice house about ten miles east of here in a heavily forested area. Karen didn't bother to knock. She had a key. I asked her if it was okay to just walk in and she told me that Judith would be with a client for another half hour or so. I listened but couldn't hear anything. Karen said the rooms were all sound-proofed. We went off to the side of the house into the kitchen and had a snack and waited.

"After about thirty minutes, I heard a door open and some voices, at least two. I could tell one of the speakers wore high heels from the sound of her steps. All the floors were wood. I heard the outer door open and close and the woman wearing the high heels walked back towards us. Karen took my hand and gave it a squeeze just as a woman walked in.

"Karen had described Judith to me so I knew it was her. She was tall for a woman, about 5'8", and slender, maybe 120 pounds. She had dark hair. She wore it down to her shoulders. It was curly but not tight. I think they call it loosely curled. It looked black. You know, there's two kinds that people call black. One is truly black, like a raven's wing. The other is really very dark brown. You can only tell the difference in the sunlight because then you can see the dark reddish tint in the second kind. I discovered that Judith had the second kind when I saw her in the sunlight the next day.

"Her eyes were very dark. You could hardly tell where her iris ended and her pupil began. Large, slightly almond-shaped, widely spaced. Lovely. But there was a chill in them. Karen had been right. Judith's eyes felt like they penetrated my body when she focused on me. And she was beautiful, you know, symmetrical face, narrow nose, full lips, high cheekbones. She looked like a thirty year old model, not a fifty year old whore, except for her clothes.

I asked, "What was unusual about her clothes?"

Vanessa snorted. "She wore a black lace corset. The cups of the bra part covered less than half of her tits and her nipples were hard. Her breasts were larger than Karen's but smaller than mine. Garters held up her stockings, also black, and she wore high boots with five inch heels. A black lace thong covered her pussy, just barely, so I knew she shaved it. Her fingernails were the same shade of dark red as her lips. She looked as if she'd just stepped out of the pages of a high class men's magazine."

***

Time to switch to the third person omniscient again.

***

Her voice was low for a woman. She raked her eyes down Vanessa's body and back up. She said, "My, my, Karen. You're really not very eloquent. Your description doesn't do Vanessa justice." She had a slight accent that Vanessa couldn't place.

She approached and extended her hand. "Welcome, Vanessa. I'm Judith. I'm glad you could come."

Vanessa took the hand. It was warm and smooth, as one would expect from such an elegant woman, but the strength in the grip, every bit a match for the mental strength expressed by her eyes, surprised Vanessa. Clearly, slender did not equal physical weakness. Judith radiated confidence and charisma. Power. She would be in charge of any room in any building she walked into. Heads would turn and deference would be offered. Vanessa thought, "Karen was right about her. Nobody could help but want her. Her acceptance and desire would be like a drug."

Holding Vanessa's eyes with her own, Judith said, "I've got a cold dinner ready. Boiled shrimp and diced cheese. I just have to cut the fruit for the salad. And champagne. Let's make a girl's night of it, shall we? Karen, take Vanessa into the dressing room and get her dolled up. You'll love what Karen can do for you, Vanessa. She has real talent. She could work in Hollywood doing hair, clothes, and makeup. Go now. Take your time."

Karen took Vanessa by the hand and led her away. Judith, confident of being obeyed, got to work on finishing preparation of the meal.

Karen led Vanessa to a hall, turned left, and entered the first room on the right. The large closet with double bi-fold doors and the bathroom on the side informed Vanessa that the builders had designed this room as a bedroom despite the fact that it contained no bed. Instead, there was a large chest of drawers and what looked like a chair in a hair salon. Ceiling to floor mirrors covered the wall abutting the hallway.

As Vanessa looked around, Karen opened one side of the closet and rifled through the clothes hanging there until she brought out a short, coral-colored robe and held it out for Vanessa. She smiled and said, "Take off all your clothes and put this on."

Having finished her inspection and finally being alone with Karen, Vanessa frowned and didn't reach for the robe. "I'm not doing a damn thing until you answer some questions."

The smile fell from Karen's face and she hung her head. Without saying a word, she put her arms around Vanessa's waist and buried her face in her lover's blonde waves. Then she murmured, "I love you. I know you're angry, but remember that I love you, please."

Vanessa stood still, refusing to return Karen's hug. Karen hugged tighter and repeated, "I love you. I love you."

Vanessa relented and put her arms around Karen's neck. After a few moments, she ran her fingers through Karen's hair and said, "Alright. I'm not angry, well, not very angry. But you need to tell me what the hell's going on here? What's with Judith and that corset and this 'girl's night' and all? She's trying to seduce me, isn't she? And you're in on it, aren't you? How can you say you love me and then ... conspire in Judith seducing me?"

Karen kissed the blonde. Vanessa tolerated it but didn't respond. When Karen broke the kiss, Vanessa said, "I won't be put off. We're not making love until you answer my questions."

"You already know. You've seen Judith. You've heard her. You've felt her charisma, her power, for yourself. I know you did because I watched you closely. It's okay that you're interested in her. And you know she's my mistress. I have to do what she says. I've told you that, too."

"Yeah, I remember, but you didn't mention that she had any interest in me."

Karen hung her head. "She wouldn't let me. She didn't want you to refuse to come. If you had, she would've punished me."

"Punished you? How? This ain't grade school for Christ's sake. What the fuck?"

Karen closed her eyes and a pleading tone entered her voice. "Just her disapproval is a lot, but she can do things like force me to take a week off work, or make me do things to her customers that they like but I don't. It's hard to say exactly, but that's only part of it. She knows women. She made me tell her everything about you that I knew and decided that you'd be interested in her if she handled it right. And I can tell you right now, since she's seen you, she's ga-ga over you."

Vanessa frowned, "What do you mean?"

"I mean she wants you in the worst kind of way, I can tell from the way she looked at you, and she'll treat you very well. I know what that's like. I was SO infatuated with her for about two months. Remember I told you? I never felt better than that time." She put her arms back around Vanessa's waist. "Until I met you. I'm completely in love with you. If I thought Judith would harm you, I would've refused to cooperate and fuck the consequences. But I know her. She'll exert herself to please you. If you think I've done a good job pleasing you, you ain't seen nothing yet."

Karen waiting, staring into Vanessa's eyes, clearly wanting a kiss or some sign of affection from the lovely blonde.

Vanessa said, "Dammit, you're right. Judith is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and something about her draws me in. You can call it charisma, power, whatever, I feel it. So long as you're part of what goes on, I'll relax and cooperate, okay?"

Karen kissed her hard and long. When she had to stop to breathe, she said, "I've got to get you ready. Judith was right, I have a talent for choosing the best colors and clothes for women to show off their skin tone and make them as sexy as possible." She held out the robe.

Vanessa took it and began disrobing. "What do you call this color?"

"Coral. You have a warm skin tone and blonde hair, so coral will look good on you."

"How do you know I have a warm skin tone?"

Karen took Vanessa's wrist and turned the underside of her arm up. "Look at the veins in your wrist. Do they have a blue, purple, or green tint?"

Vanessa wrinkled her nose and frowned. "Blood's all red. Why would my veins be those colors?"

"Because you're looking at the blood through your skin. If you look at something while wearing tinted glasses, it will take on different shades of color than without the glasses."

Vanessa said, "I see. Well," she looked at the veins in her wrist, "you're right. They look a little green."

Karen nodded, "That means you have warm skin tone and that will suggest what color foundation and clothing will look best on you. Finish getting undressed and put on the robe and then look in the mirror. You'll see."

The robe was opaque but very smooth and silky. When pulled tight, Vanessa's nipples showed. Vanessa thought, "It might even be real silk." She looked into the mirror and turned left and right. "You're right. This color does look good on me."

While Vanessa had been busy with the robe, Karen had found and extracted several articles of lingerie, a bra with underwire support but sheer cups, a thong that snapped on the sides, a garter belt, and a pair of sheer stockings with plain toes and seams up the back. The stockings were flesh-toned and the other pieces were coral. Karen added a pair of strappy sandals with five inch heels. She laid the articles out on the top of the chest of drawers. Vanessa stared at them wide-eyed.